18
Daren
I stare at the dark ceiling as a torrent of contradicting emotions invades my chest. I’m angry that Kayla thinks I’m a whore. I feel guilty for implying that her self-worth is directly related to her appearance. But more than anything else, I’m stunned that she called me valuable, and said it with conviction, even though she was upset with me.
I’m just some guy she’s been stuck with all day. I’m not one of her family members or her boyfriend—hell, I can’t even get the girl to call me her friend—but still, she thinks I’m valuable.
I sit up and turn the light back on. “Kayla.”
She turns to face me with a huff, her blue eyes lit with defensiveness. “What.”
I press my lips together. “You’re a really good person.”
The defensiveness slides into confusion. “What?”
“Sorry that I made you feel like your looks were all that mattered. I don’t think that, not at all. It was a shitty thing for me to say.” I pause. “I mean, you are extremely hot”—I grin and her expression softens—“but that has nothing to do with your significance as a person. And what you said, about me being valuable… it’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. So thanks.” I turn the light back off and lie down.
A beat passes.
“Sorry I called you a whore,” Kayla says.
I quietly chuckle. “Don’t be. I am a whore. But you were wrong about me being afraid of commitment.”
“Oh really?”
“Yep,” I say. “Girls always think it’s a commitment thing. Like there’s something wrong with a guy if he doesn’t drink the relationship Kool-Aid you females are always trying to shove down our throats. When in reality, the reason I don’t want to lock myself up to someone”—I rattle our handcuffs—“metaphorically speaking, of course—is because girls are just as bad as guys when it comes to commitment. If not worse.”
I can almost hear her eyes roll. “Oh please.”
“See? This is what I’m talking about.” I shake my head in the dark. “You think girls can do no wrong. That guys are just big bad wolves who walk around breaking hearts at their every whim.” I scoff. “Girls are every bit as ruthless. They leave. They break hearts. They use guys.” I exhale. “So I don’t buy into the bullshit anymore. I just have fun. If a girl comes along and happens to want a relationship with me, I step away. I don’t sleep with her or lead her on. But if a girl is only in it for fun or just needs to feel desired for a few hours—and also understands that I’m not going to do the relationship thing with her—well, then… I do sleep with her. And we both leave feeling better about ourselves. If that makes me a whore then I’m okay with being a whore.”
She laughs. “So sex is like a public service you provide?”
“No.” I smile. “Well, maybe a little.”
“Oh my God. You’re unbelievable.”
“Hey, you’d be surprised how many girls out there just want to be touched and feel wanted. It’s an epidemic, really.”
“I’m sure it is.” I hear the smile in her voice. “Well whore or not, I still think it’s sad that sex makes you feel good about yourself. Or whatever.”
I cluck my tongue. “You only think it’s sad because you’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing Daren the Legendary Lover firsthand. But we can fix that, you know. Right now, even.” I bounce on the mattress so the springs creak and groan. “We have a cheap motel porn bed at our disposal and everything.”
She playfully scoffs. “As flattered as I am that you’d extend your public-servicing penis to me, I think I’m going to pass.”
I sigh dramatically. “Your call. But if you change your mind, I’ll be here all night.” I playfully tug on the handcuffs. “Right beside you.”
“Good night, Daren,” she says, giving the handcuffs a little tug back.
I smile at the ceiling. “Night.”