“Piper, look at me.”
I turn, but avoid making any eye contact with him. “Let’s go inside,” I say, reaching out to touch Acorn’s back. “You can sit with him for a little while.”
He follows me inside, and the receptionist takes us to a private room, advising us to press a button on the wall when we’re ready for the doctor to come in. There’s no exam table in this room, just two large leather chairs that match the ones in the waiting room, a big soft dog bed on the floor, dim lighting, and an electric candle lit on a small table in the corner. I can’t help but wonder how many sweet furry souls say goodbye in this room.
Blue gently sets Acorn on the bed and sits cross-legged on the floor next to him.
“He looks so old,” he says, shaking his head slowly in disbelief.
I sit on the other side of Acorn and we pet him together. He’s breathing heavier now, and his eyes have closed. “He is old.”
“Can I tell you something?”
Nodding, I grab a box of tissues from the table and put it in front of us.
“I found him when he was a little tiny puppy. I was walking around in the woods, getting high, and there he was. All alone.”
“Wait... I thought when I met you, you told me you had him for two years?”
“I said we’d been traveling for two years.”
That was so long ago I can’t remember the exact words he used. All this time I thought he found Acorn as an adult dog while he was walking from state to state.
“I took him home with me and my dad had a shit fit. We were already on bad terms cuz I was such a fuckup, and the last thing he wanted was an animal in the house. He told me to get rid of the puppy or get the hell out of his house. I refused to give up the dog so he kicked me out. I had nowhere to go, so I took the puppy to the shed in our backyard. It was freezing, and I was hungry, and I begged my father to let us come in and he fuckin’ refused. Even with my mom begging him to let me in. I ended up living in the shed with Acorn for six months until I moved in with a friend. I didn’t even have a job so I couldn’t afford to buy him real dog food or toys, so I just fed him what I was eating and gave him an old sock to play with.” A tear slides down his cheek as he strokes Acorn’s ears. “He was such a cool little dog. He never barked or chewed anything up. He seemed happy just hanging out with me, and he loved when I played guitar and sang. He’d sit and watch me for hours when I played, and he’d fall asleep with his head on my leg and I’d keep singing and playing. He was the first real friend I ever had.” He wipes his hand across his cheek. “And you told me he was Lyric’s first best friend, too. I kinda feel like he’s this little guardian that came into my life to take care of me and the two people I love.”
Swallowing over the lump in my throat, I reach across the pillow and touch his hand. “I think you’re right,” I say softly.
“Do you think he forgives me? For leaving him?” His voice is strained with emotion.
I nod slowly. “I know he does. I don’t think he ever thought you left, Blue. I think he knew you lent him to us.”
Tears fall from his cheek and onto Acorn’s fur. “I hope so,” he whispers.
I watch as he says goodbye to his dog, and I can’t help but wonder if him staying in the shed with Acorn when he was just a teenager messed him up and that’s why he repeated it later when he was older.
After we’ve said our goodbyes, we stay with Acorn until the very end, and the vet leaves us alone for a few more minutes. Blue immediately pulls me into his arms, and we cry together, burying the hatchet to cling to each other in grief. When it’s time to leave, we walk out into the parking lot, silent and emotionally drained. He walks me to my car, lights up a cigarette, and stares up into the star-speckled black sky.
“That was officially one of the worst moments of my life,” he says. “And I’ve had a lot.”
I lean against the back of my car and breathe in the cool air. A deep pain has settled in my chest and in the pit of my stomach.
“Thank you for letting me be here. It feels right.” He exhales a plume of smoke. “That we did it together.”
“I think so, too.”
He puts out his cigarette on the bottom of his boot and shoves the butt in his back pocket, just like he used to do.
Some things never change.
Shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, he steps closer to me and I can feel him looking me up and down.
“What’s made you so distant, Ladybug?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “You did.”
He steps closer. Too close.
“That means I can undo it.”
I refuse to look up at him. I’m not going to fall into the hypnotic trap of his dark eyes again. I know my weaknesses when it comes to him. It may have taken me years, but I’m smarter now.
“You can’t,” I reply.
He bends his head down close to mine. “Wanna bet?” he whispers next to my ear.
I smack my hand into his chest. “Stop it.”
He sighs and rocks on his heels. “I’m only here for one night. Tomorrow afternoon I fly back out.”
“So?”
“So let’s not waste it. I haven’t seen you in fuckin’ years.”
“That’s your own fault. You wrecked everything. I’m not letting you do it again.”
He reaches out and touches my face. “I miss you, Piper. We just went through something horrible together. Don’t you feel the same? Don’t you want to spend time with me?”
“I do, Blue. But I also value my sanity now.”
He continues to caress my cheek. “Sanity is overrated, baby.”
He kisses my forehead. Then the tip of my nose. And then, my lips.
We kiss soft and slow, tasting each other, remembering each other. His tongue dances over mine, hints of metal and smoke fill my mouth. He has always been my favorite flavor. Grasping my waist, he lifts me up onto the trunk of my car and moves between my legs, not breaking our kiss. I wrap my thighs around him, my arms around his neck, and welcome the hardness of his body against mine. He’s like riding a bicycle, the balance, movement, and fit is instantly perfect and familiar.
After a few minutes I pull away for air and press my lips against his chest exposed by the V-neck of his shirt. “Why can’t I forget you?” I whisper more to myself than to him. “I don’t want to want you anymore.”
He threads his fingers through my hair, pushing it back from my face and tilting my head up to his. “Come back to my room with me.”
My thighs tighten around him, contradicting the words I’m going to say.
“I can’t do that.”
He moves his body against mine, and I can feel every inch of him—hard and hot and tantalizing—between my thighs. My body quivers and heats in response, wanting him closer, with nothing between us.
“We don’t have to do anything. Just let me hold you. I want to fall asleep with you like we used to. I’m so tired, Piper.”
Closing my eyes, I rest my cheek against his chest and listen to the soft thump of his heart. I can’t go with him. I have to go home to Lyric, and to Josh. Isn’t that where I belong now?
“I can’t, Blue.”
His muscular arms encircle me like a vice. “Don’t leave. I’m gonna fall apart without you tonight. I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want you to be, either.”
“I have to go home to Lyric. This has been really hard on her, too.”
“I know.” He leans his head against mine. “I know it has. Can I come with you?”
My stomach jumps into my throat at the thought. “No. Blue, I—”
“You don’t have to tell her who I am. Tell her I’m an old friend.”
Lyric is definitely smart enough to know I wouldn’t be running into an old friend at the vet’s office and bringing him home with me.
“That’s not a good idea.”
He pulls away and stares down at me, his eyes transitioning to a darker, midnight velvet blue.
“You told me you bought a house. You don’t want me there, do you?” he asks. “Why?”
I chew the inside of my cheek, trying to find the right words, but there are none. “Josh is there with Lyric. He’s waiting for me.”