26
VIGINTI SEX
Finn
I curl up in my room on the floor, where the dust has settled in the corners and the rain once again drenches the sill. I should get up and close the window, but I don’t.
YouCan’tYouCan’tYouCan’t.
The voice shrieks in my ear and I clasp my hands over them, holding tight, trying to drown them out, which of course doesn’t work. Because the voices come from within.
I hear Calla come inside, I hear her singing in her shower, happy with things that I have no knowledge of, yet I do.
I know it’s Dare making her happy.
He gives her hope, when all I give her is despair.
I drop my head into my hands.
Just a little longer.
Justalittlelittlelittlelittle.
She’sNotWorthThePainNotWorthItNotWorthIt.
The voices are insistent, but I know they lie. She is worth it. I can pull this off for her. I have to because she deserves it.
Act normal.
I sit up, brushing my damp hair away from my face.
For a little while longer.
I can do this. I can pretend.
For
A
Little
While
I watch the dust-motes twirl in the dying light, swatting at them before I curl up in a ball.
For Calla.