CHAPTER 19
Tracy killed the engine and let her truck roll to a silent stop. She scanned the darkened street before exiting to the ambient light from a full moon. A year after the trial and she still searched for shadows lurking behind trees and seeping out from behind bushes. As children, Tracy and Sarah had called these unseen horrors bogeymen. Back then, they had been made-up monsters conjured by the vivid imaginations of two sisters. Now they were frighteningly real.
She climbed the porch steps and fit her key into the deadbolt. It turned with a snap that made her pause and listen for sounds inside the house. Not hearing anything, she pressed her shoulder to the door and applied pressure. The wood expanded in the winter and that had caused the door to stick in the jamb. When Tracy felt the door slide free of the threshold, she pushed the door open and stepped quietly inside.
The light came on, startling her. She dropped her keys.
“Jesus. You scared me,” she said.
Ben sat in the recliner dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. “I scared you? You’re coming home at this hour, no phone call, no note, and I scared you?”
“I meant I didn’t see you sitting there. Why were you sitting in the dark? Why do you have all your clothes on?”
“You didn’t see me because you weren’t home. Where were you, Tracy?”
“I was working.”
“At one in the morning?”
“You know what I meant; I was working on Sarah’s case.”
“What a surprise.”
“I’m tired,” she said, not wanting to get into the debate again.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
She spoke over her shoulder as she walked from the room. “Yes, I did.”
“No. You told me what you were doing. I asked where you were.”
“It’s late, Ben. Let’s talk in the morning.”
“I’ll be gone in the morning.” She stepped back into the room. Ben had stood and she noticed that he was also wearing his work boots. “I’m leaving. I can’t live like this.”
She stepped toward him. “It’s not going to always be like this, Ben. I just need more time.”
“How long is it going to take, Tracy?”
“I don’t know.”
“And there lies the problem.”
“Ben—”
“I know where you were.”
“What would you have me do?”
“Move on, Tracy. That’s what people do.”
“My sister was murdered.”
“I was here, remember? I’ve been here, every single day. I sat by your side every day of the trial and I sat through the sentencing. You just haven’t noticed.”
She took a few more steps toward him. “Is that what this is about? You want my attention?”
“I’m your husband, Tracy.”
“And you should support me.”
He started for the door. “I was going to leave in the morning. My truck is packed. I think it’s better that I leave now, before either of us says something we’ll regret.”
“Ben, it’s late. Wait until the morning. We can talk this through.”
He gripped the doorknob. “What did he tell you?”
“What?”
“What did Edmund House tell you?”
He’d followed her to the prison. “I asked him about the case. I asked him about what Chief Calloway said about him confessing that he’d killed Sarah. I asked him about the jewelry.”
“Did you ask him if he killed her?”
“He didn’t kill her, Ben. The evidence—”
“A jury convicted him, Tracy. A jury considered the evidence and convicted him. Why isn’t that enough?”
“Because the evidence is wrong. I know it.”
“And is that going to change by morning? Is there anything more I can say that will get you to stop this?”
She touched the sleeve of his shirt. “Don’t make me choose, Ben. Please don’t make me choose between you and my sister.”
“I never would have done that to you. You did that on your own.” He pulled open the door and stepped out.
Tracy followed him onto the porch, suddenly afraid. “I love you, Ben. I don’t have anyone else but you.”
He stopped. After a moment, he turned to face her. “Yeah, you do. And until you put them both to rest, there’s no room for me. There’s no room for anyone.”
She hurried toward him, holding him. “Ben, please. We can work this out.”
He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Then come with me.”
“What?”
“We can pack your things in an hour. Come with me.”
“Where?”
“Away from here.”
“But my mother and father—”
“They want nothing to do with me, Tracy. I’m the reason you left Sarah alone that night. I’m the reason she’s dead. They won’t even talk to me. They hardly talk to you anymore. There’s nothing here.”
She stepped back. “I can’t, Ben.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Tears pooled in his eyes. “A part of me will always love you, Tracy. That’s the pain I’m going to have to get over. I can’t do it living here. You have your own pain to get through, and I don’t think you can do it here either, but you’re going to have to figure that out on your own.”
He climbed into the truck cab and shut the door. For a moment, she thought he might reconsider, that he might open the door and get out, come back to her. Then he started the engine, gave her one final glance, and backed out of the driveway, leaving her alone.