Her body trembles.
Still unable to believe it, I finally ask, “Is it true? Did you marry him?”
She nods her head.
“Why?” I don’t even recognize my own voice at this point.
“Let it be, Xander,” she pleads.
I look around at the posh surroundings. “Does this have to do with money?” I ask her.
Her face turns to anger.
“You need money. Is that why you joined the band so eagerly? Is that what this was all about?”
“Yes,” she cries out, but for some reason I feel like she’s saying no.
Damon laughs. “Keep trying to figure it out and you’ll keep coming back to square one. Love speaks for itself. She just couldn’t stand to be without me. She loves me. Has for years. Her mother told me about you two when the picture surfaced and I’ve forgiven her for her slight misjudgment.”
I flinch. I’m the misjudgment? That makes me want to laugh.
“I’m sorry,” she mouths silently, and when our eyes connect for that one moment, I know she’s trying to tell me something. I know she is, but I can’t get any sound to come from my throat to ask what.
He grabs her hand and shoves the ring in my face. “I think your visit has lasted long enough. Ivy will be performing tonight and she should rest. We’ll discuss the rest of the tour tomorrow. Oh, and Xander, Johnny will be with her at all times.” He nods to Johnny, who drags me down the aisle of the bus.
“Ivy, talk to me,” I yell. “How could you do this to us?”
“Xander, this is how it has to be,” she says in a soft voice, covering her face with her hands.
Damon steps closer and she steps back. It’s clear that what he says is love is not. Why did she marry him? I don’t have a chance to find out anything more, because the muscle throws me out of the bus and I land on my ass. In a haze I stand up. Ivy married Damon Wolf? I puke right there as thoughts of his hands on her send me to the pits of hell and devastation careens through my body. Looking around, I see Leif, Garrett, and Nix staring in disbelief and I stare back with the same feeling.
“Fuck, man, let’s get you cleaned up,” Nix says, throwing my arm over his shoulder. I walk with him, pissed and confused about what just happened, but knowing it is far from over . . . knowing something isn’t right . . . knowing sure as shit that Damon must have something over her. Because there is no other explanation I want to think about.
CHAPTER 14
Underneath It All
Morning had stretched into afternoon and before I know it, it’s evening. I spent the morning trying to convince myself not to turn my back on her like I did before. She loves me—or I thought she did. Fuck, for twelve years I’ve been flirting around, never finding anyone else who could light up my soul like her. I never paid much attention to it, either. Then once she was back in my arms, it was all there—she was the one I’d always needed. She brings out parts of me I never thought I had. I had spent the afternoon talking myself down off the ledge—I wanted to kill him, with my bare hands, strangle every last breath out of him. But then who would win? I have to keep my cool.
We’re huddled together for our drink and a prayer. But no one is praying tonight. I regard them all steadily as I sit in a chair and lean over. My head throbs, my nose hurts—the painkillers Leif gave me are wearing off. I’m starting to feel more than a little bit agitated and annoyed. The show begins in minutes and she’s not here yet. What the hell is going on? Did I imagine what we had? Why would she marry him? The questions are on constant repeat in my mind and I feel like I’m going to puke again.
The feeling gets even worse when I hear Damon’s voice taunt me. “Don’t tell me you’re feeling sorry for yourself.”
“Fuck you,” I say, not bothering to raise my head.