Disappear
Dark clouds surround me, and the first flash of bright lightning zigzags across the sky. Thunder follows with a loud crash. The rain pelts down, smashing against the plane’s windows, and another burst of lightning flashes, immediately followed by a low rumble. After hours of circling, we finally land and I just want to get the hell off this plane.
Once I hail a cab, I go straight to the hospital. I text Bell and she tells me where they all are. The ping of the elevator alerts me that I’ve arrived. I exit and see Mom standing in the open doorway to a small room. I rush to her and she holds me tightly. The waiting room is bathed in darkness, with only a single lamp in the corner to light the space. Bell enters the room from the other side and runs to join us.
“What happened?” I ask my mother.
She explains the medical terminology of Dahlia’s condition and the reason for the emergency C-section. She tells me the baby was just too little to survive the premature birth. When she finishes, I ask, “Where’s River?”
She shows me to Dahlia’s room. My hand stills on the doorknob. I suck in a breath and open the door, looking in before entering. It’s dark and the hissing of the blood pressure machine is the only sound when I walk into the room. River is nestled in the chair next to Dahlia’s bed, and she’s sleeping. He shifts his gaze to the door and as soon as he sees me, he stands up.
I study his face—it’s worn, tired, but most of all heartbroken.
“I’m—I’m sorry about the baby,” I stammer.
He chokes down a sob. “The baby was a boy,” he tells me in a trembling voice.
I can see the nakedness of his grief. I put a hand on his shoulder and then pull him to me. We stand together in silence for the longest time. “Has Dahlia woken up?”
He stares at me intently before scrubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. “Just once. She was hysterical, so the doctor gave her a sedative. She should sleep for a while, he said. They had to cut her open to deliver the baby.”
“I’m so sorry.” I can’t find any other words to soothe his pain because right now his pain is my pain.
I clear my throat. “Why don’t you go take a shower and get something to eat? I’ll sit with her.”
He shakes his head no and pushes back in the chair. I grab a chair from the other side of the room and just sit next to him for hours. By the time I leave the hospital the rain has stopped and the day has faded into night. I take Bell’s car—she got a ride from my mother and Jack. As I drive to Beverly Hills, I look up into the sky at the stars and wonder why things happen in life the way they do.
At my house, it’s dark and I’m alone. I make my way to the bedroom and throw myself on the bed. Pulling out my phone, I hit Ivy’s name. I texted her when I landed, but she hasn’t responded. I figured they were preparing for the show, but it should be over by now. There’s no answer, though. I lie in bed listening to her voice mail message and start to get nervous. “Where the hell is she?” I leave her a message and fall prey to exhaustion while waiting for her to return my call.
When I wake up, I check my phone—four a.m. here, seven there, and still no call. My nervousness quickly turns to annoyance as I dial the number again. When did I turn into a chick? I ask myself and lie back down.
I wake up again to my cell phone ringing. Blurry-eyed and groggy, I can just make out that the screen is flashing RIVER. I answer it.
“Yeah.”
“Hey, sorry to wake you up so early, but Dahlia woke up and wants to go home this morning. The doctors cleared her. Do you think you could run by the house and pick up her car? Mine will be too uncomfortable for her. Her keys should be on the hook near the garage door. And Mom ran over to the house this morning and packed a bag for her. She left it in my bedroom, if you could pick that up too.”
Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I throw myself back on the bed. “Sure, bro, I can do that. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
I hang up and jump out of bed, shower, snatch my phone, and hop in my car. Bell’s car is parked next to mine and I have to get it back to her. With the sun blinding me, I search for my sunglasses and then squint at my fucking phone. Still no call from Ivy. I swing the car around the corner and turn onto Sunset Boulevard. Glancing down at my phone to call her, I look up and come to a screeching stop. Fucking LA traffic.
At River’s house, I park in front of the garage and wonder whose car is blocking the steps to the front door. I check my phone one last time and then squeeze between the concrete wall and the car. The door is ajar—cleaning lady maybe?
“Hello?” I bellow, pushing the door open with my foot.