Chapter Four
The date
Last night was actually pretty great.
Ghost came over just after seven. When I say he came over, I mean he broke in through the patio sliding door and waltzed right in like he owned the place. We sat on opposite ends of my ridiculously comfortable sofa and watched TV.
He came dressed in sweats, a tee and barefoot. Of course, he looked amazing.
He always looks amazing.
I had already showered and was wearing my pajamas. I decided to put a bra underneath my tank. I usually leave the girls free, but I didn’t want to give him a free show and all.
I found it hilarious that I had to explain reality shows to him. He didn’t really like reality TV, so we flicked through channels and settled on a show about baking. He was actually watching the bakers in awe. He would make quiet comments like, “Would you look at that?” and “That looks great.” I found it so adorable that I burst into laughter a few times. I couldn’t help but ask, “Why don’t you own a TV?”
He shrugged before explaining, “Never really understood sitting down and watching someone else live their life when we should be living ours. I watch things on the internet, but I’ve never sat down for entire episodes of a TV show before. But I like cooking channels.”
So we spent almost five hours watching the cooking channel.
And, surprisingly, I enjoyed it.
We ate ice cream out of the same tub and would chat on occasion, but really, we just enjoyed each other’s company in silence for the most part. When I peeked at the clock and saw it was almost midnight, I told Ghost to go home. He looked disappointed, so I told him he could stay til his cooking show was finished. I think I surprised us both when I kissed the top of his head and went to my room. I heard him leave about ten minutes later through the back patio way.
I wondered how he locks that door from the outside. I’ll have to ask him.
Within minutes, I was catching Zs.
This morning, I woke to the smell of coffee.
Confused, I got out of bed and saw a large coffee and a brown paper bag on my kitchen counter. I walked over to it and saw a note paper poking out from under the paper bag. I unfolded the paper and read to myself.
Sorry I kept you up last night. I think you’ll need the coffee this morning. I got you a muffin to say thanks for breakfast yesterday.
I’m smiling like an idiot. I fold the note and put it in my fruit bowl, then I get ready for work.
***
Today is going to be a good day.
I woke to the wonderful smell of coffee, had a delicious blueberry muffin for breakfast and tonight I’m going on a date with a hot guy.
Eeek!
I’m excited!
I didn’t bother waxing my vajayjay. If I did, it would be as if I’m expecting to get laid tonight, and I’m not. Tonight is going to be two people getting to know each other.
I feel like I’ve got the best of both worlds right now. Ghost is my newest friend and Cole is my hottie non-boyfriend.
After lunch, the girls cornered me to ask questions about tonight. Mimi starts with, “Who is this guy?”
I answer, “His name is Cole Lewis. He’s thirty-two and a personal trainer. A total hottie.”
Lola smiles. “Nice! Where’s he taking you?”
I shrug. “I’m not sure. He just asked for my address so I’ll find out when he comes to get me.”
Tina claps her hands together and loudly whispers, “He was a total hottie! Nik told me to stop staring but I couldn’t. He’s just…Wow! I hope it goes well tonight, hon.”
Mimi frowns as she clarifies, “You don’t know where you’re going with someone you just met?” She shakes her head vigorously. “No. Not happening. You text all of us where you’re going as soon as you find out.”
I move over to Meems, put an arm around her shoulder and try to soothe her doubts. “Hey, it’s okay. He doesn’t seem like a jerk or anything. Just the opposite, in fact.”
Mimi shrugs my arm off her shoulder and retorts, “Yeah, well we’re not taking any chances. Omarr didn’t look like a psychopath either, but he had no problem kidnapping Tina and putting matching bullets in her and Nik.” She looks me in the eye and says sternly, “Did you forget they almost died?”
My stomach dips.
No. I hadn’t.
I still see Tina’s small, limp body in that hospital bed. I find myself staring at the puckered scar under her collarbone and wondering what would have happened if she hadn’t made it.
A chill spreads through me.
It’s too horrific to imagine.
Tina places her hand on Mimi’s arm. I decide now is not the time to argue and give in. “Okay, I’ll text you all as soon as I find out where I’m going on my date.”
Mimi looks slightly mollified which pleases me.
I’m trying to work Ghost into a conversation. When I can’t find an in, I blurt out, “Ghost spent the day with me yesterday.”
All the girls still and blink at me as if I’d spoken another language.
Tina’s eyes widen. “No. Freakin’. Way.”
“And you’re just telling us now?” Mimi asks incredulously.
Lola claps and cheers. “Hooray! We’re all friends again!”
I breathe deep then explain what we spoke about on Saturday night and Ghost’s attempted burglary of my milk on Sunday morning. I tell them every small detail of our breakfast together, the vibrator conversation (which they all burst out laughing…some friends), the adventure to the grocery store and how we spent the evening watching TV together. Then I explained we have to watch TV at my place because he doesn’t have one and all three of them gasp loudly and stare in disbelief.
I know, right? Thank you!
Not owning a TV is weird. I knew it wasn’t just me that thought so.
Smiling, I play with a piece of paper on the counter and find myself admitting, “I had a really great time with him. He doesn’t talk without prompting, but I think I’m getting somewhere with him. He’s opening up to me.” I dip my chin and say a hushed, “I want to know him better.”
After a long silence, I lift my head to find Tina, Lola and Mimi all smiling sweetly at me.
Feeling awkward and exposed, I put on a big fake smile. “Can you guys help me find something to wear to my date?”
Tina and Lola jump up and down excitedly and Mimi’s face softens as she quietly responds, “Of course, doll.”
Phew. Quick save.
***
The girls did a great job with my outfit considering we had no idea where Cole was taking me on our date. They’ve dressed me in a black and white long, flowing maxi-dress, a black cardigan and lace up ballet flats. I’ve applied minimal makeup and wear my hair flowing down my back. I somehow manage to look sweet in this outfit which is precisely what I need. Tonight is not a sexy-look night.
Nervously tapping my foot, I check the time. 6:58pm.
He’ll be here any minute!
My stomach knots.
Could I have imagined how hot Cole is?
Ding Dong.
I mouth “Eeek!” to myself.
No time to think now, brain! Answer the damn door!
I mentally count to three then open the door. Okay, so I didn’t imagine how hot Cole is. Hot damn. He looks fantastic.
He’s dressed in jeans, a long sleeved tee and bright white sneakers. His black hair is in a spiked style and his blue eyes pop. I think I may have swallowed my tongue.
“Wow. You look beautiful, Nat.” Then he hands me a single pink rose.
Awww. He’s sweet!
Flashing him a brilliant smile, I lean in and kiss his cheek. “You look very handsome, Cole.” I step back. “I’ll just grab my purse then we can go.” I go to my room, check myself one last time, then grab my purse and head back to the front door. I stand in front of Cole and say, “We can go now. I’ll just lock up.”
Cole stops me with a gentle hand on my arm. He leans forward and gazes at me through hooded eyes then runs a finger down my cheek. “I’ve been waiting two nights for this. I don’t think I can wait a second longer.” His thumb passes slowly over my bottom lip.
My eyes flutter closed, I breathe deeply, and my middle tightens, causing me to flush.
I feel Cole’s nose lightly brush mine and he whispers, “I want to kiss you, sunshine.”
Without a moment’s thought, I close the short distance between us. I put my hand on his cheek and run my parted lips gently along his.
My core moistens. I ache for his kiss.
So much for going slow.
He breathes me in, his arm coils around my waist and he pulls me into him so we’re front to front.
We still haven’t kissed but this seems so much more intense than making out.
We’re playing with each other.
This is a dangerous game and I don’t know the rules.
I grab fistfuls of the front of his tee. “Stop playing with me. Do it, Cole,” I beg hoarsely.
He smirks, and it’s so beautiful that I want to lick him. He lowers his face and buries it into the side of my neck.
God, that feels amazing.
I’m becoming desperate for some form of connection. Any connection. And I make a very stupid decision. I run my hand down his chest, scraping my fingernails roughly along his ribs and stomach til I get to the zipper of his jeans. Before I know what’s happening, Cole lifts me in one fell swoop, steps into the apartment and kicks the door closed behind us.
No! This isn’t supposed to be happening!
Quiet, brain! We’re getting to the good part!
He supports my booty with his forearms, and I run my fingertips gently down his cheeks as we search one another’s face. “Sofa,” I whisper.
He walks over to the sofa with me wrapped around him. He sits carefully and I straddle him. I can feel his hard length through his jeans and it aligns perfectly with my sweet spot. My body moves of its own accord. I grind against him and moan.
The friction is amazing.
Cole’s eyes roll back and he groans. He grips my hips and mutters, “Baby. Mouth.”
I lean down and kiss his lips once softly. Then I press harder against his lips, open my mouth a little and gently caress them with my tongue. He growls against my lips and it makes me even wetter. His muscular arms curl around my lower and upper back and he holds me tight. He pulls away slightly and says, “I’ve never connected with someone like this before.”
I answer honestly. “Me either.”
We’re magnetic together and it astounds me.
He pulls me down so my forehead touches his. “This is moving fast, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, it really is. We should stop. Like, now.” I exhale and nod as I respond sullenly.
He chuckles and gently caresses my cheek. “I’m glad you sound torn up about it, sunshine. I want to kiss that pout away though.” He pushes a stray hair behind my ear and suggests, “Why don’t we just order in?”
Taking a moment to think about it, I toy with his collar and admit, “That does sound good.”
He smiles, pulls me down to him and kisses me deeply.
I’m lost.
Cole’s kisses are addictive.
After a minute, I pull away and chuckle. “I’d better get up or we’ll end up on here all night.”
He sighs, gets up and very obviously adjusts his erection. I flush and giggle. He play frowns and murmurs, “Laugh it up, sunshine. If you don’t quit tempting me, I might just ravish you.”
Was that meant to be a threat or a promise?
Smiling, I move to the kitchen and remove all the takeout menus from the top of the fridge. We decide on pizza. Cole orders and I text the girls my whereabouts, then we sit back down on the sofa. It takes about thirty seconds before we’re all over each other again. Cole has somehow managed to position himself on top of me and the weight feels so good. I wrap my arms around his neck. He holds himself up on his forearms so he isn’t squishing me and places whisper-soft kisses on my lips. I can’t help but smile against his lips. He’s so gentle for such a big guy.
My stomach dips when he strokes his fingertips along the side of my breast.
Yes! Do it!
I want more. Now.
My hand skims his neck, moves down his broad chest and stomach til I reach the zipper of his jeans.
Ding Dong.
We both lift our heads and look to the door.
Oh, you are freakin’ kidding me!
Cole groans then chuckles and buries his face into my chest. Still chuckling, he says, “I think you better get that. If I answer the door like this, I’m going to scare someone.” This comes out muffled.
We both laugh and stand. Cole reaches into his pocket, hands me a fifty and I glare at it.
Then I glare at him.
He states, “If we went out, I would’ve paid for dinner anyway, so just pay the damn guy and get your sexy ass back here so we can pick up where we left off.”
I blink.
That is totally acceptable reasoning.
I run to the door and Cole laughs. I open the door, throw the money at the stunned teenage delivery boy, snatch up the pizza then slam the door shut.
I hear a muffled, “Th- thank you!” from the other side of the door. On a mission, I throw the pizza on the kitchen counter, walk towards Cole and ask. “How do you feel about cold pizza?”
“Love it.” Cole replies on a smirk.
I nod vigorously. “Me too.” I take his hand and lead him to my bedroom.
I don’t plan on having sex with Cole tonight but figure if we’re going to make out, we may as well be somewhere comfortable. Once inside my room, I push him back onto my bed and straddle him. His arms wrap around my lower back. I lower my face to his and breathe him in.
“This is crazy,” he whispers.
I softly kiss his lips before I respond, “Batshit crazy.”
He smirks and murmurs, “Insane in the membrane.”
“Mad as a March hare.” I giggle.
He chuckles. “One flew over the cuckoo’s nest.” We both burst into fits of laughter, so hard it shakes the bed.
My heart swells.
This is exactly how Tina and I joke. We can’t seem to stop. The both of us fight hilariously to get the last word in and usually take a huge detour from what we started talking about. I can’t seem to remove the idiotic smile on my face, but am slightly appeased when I see Cole wearing an identical idiotic smile.
God, we’re dorks!
Still smiling, I ask, “Where were we?”
Cole squints and looks up as if thinking, then flips me fast as lightning onto my back. He lowers his face and kisses me slowly and meaningfully. He lifts his face, his expression serious. “I know sex is out of the question tonight. I wouldn’t even ask for it, babe. But there is something I want to do so badly that I think I might just die if you don’t let me.”
My stomach flips.
My serious expression matches his. “What exactly would that be?” I ask cautiously.
He kisses me again. Against my lips he murmurs, “I want to taste you.”
My stomach drops. Right out of my vagina.
With wide eyes, I choke out, “Okay.”
What the fecking feck?
I mentally argue with myself.
Good me: I just agreed to let Cole do that? We don’t even know each other!
Horny me: Oh, shut your pie hole! A super hottie hot guy wants to give you some serious pleasure! What’s the problem?
Good me: Hmmm. I’m not sure, brain. Hold on. It’ll come to me. Nope. No problem!
Toot toot!
Horny me: Hooray! We miss this!
Oh, we totally did. I haven’t been with anyone since Ghost. That was an age ago. It led to me believing I was pregnant with Ghost’s child, setting up a doctor’s appointment and finding out I have PCOS which is the abbreviated term for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It basically means I have cysts on my ovaries and uterus. My period was always irregular and I only went on the pill two years ago to regulate it. Even after a year of taking the pill my period didn’t normalize. I would only get spotting once every five to six months. Which I thought was awesome.
I mean, c’mon! Who likes getting their period?
Not me!
The doctor ordered an ultrasound. I was expecting to hear a heartbeat. Not Umm’s and Ahh’s.
When I saw the look on the doctor’s face, I knew it wasn’t good news. He talked a bit about PCOS and then explained to me the reason I wasn’t getting my periods was because I have cysts on top on cysts on my ovaries. My ovaries are so badly damaged and covered in scar tissue it’s very likely I won’t ever have my own children, and on the off chance I got pregnant, there would be no guarantee I’d carry full-term. The kind doctor took my hands in his, and as gently as possible told me I am a candidate for a hysterectomy. That was the point I broke down.
Tina once offered to be a surrogate for me. I love her for that, but until I find someone I’m serious about, it’s not something I’ll even think about.
I try not to get my hopes up about the children thing, but it’s something I’ve wanted since I was a little girl. I’d already planned my family and it would consist of me, a not-yet-named daddy, two sweet girls and one naughty boy. And two seriously ugly-cute pug dogs named Pizza and Donut.
That’s my family.
At least, it was.
Tina, Mimi and Lola all know about this. What they don’t know is just how seriously it cut me. And it cut me deep. The blade ran right through the heart, down my sternum and twisted in my gut. Although you can’t die from pain, this particular brand of pain makes you feel like you’re dying a very slow, tortured and excruciating death. My chest still aches when I think about it.
Cole brings me back to reality. “Panties off, sunshine.” He reaches under my long skirt and runs his hands up my legs, takes hold of my panties and lowers them. I know I haven’t waxed, but if it’s what he wants, who am I to deny him?
He leaves a trail of wet kisses up my leg and whispers against my inner thigh. “I’m gonna rock your world, sunshine.” He runs his nose gently up my folds and breathes me in.
Pure sex.
It’s dirty.
I love it.
My stomach and core tighten simultaneously.
Then Cole proceeds to rock my world.