Chapter One
My neighbors suck
Seven months later…
Tatiana pulls my hair hard.
Yowza!
I squint in pain, remove her grabby hands, and softly reprimand her, “Hey peaches, that’s Teta Nat’s. You’re just going to have to grow some of your own if you want some hair.” Teta means Aunt in Croatian. Tina insists we use Teta instead of Aunt.
She smiles a gummy smile and jumps around in my arms. I can’t help but smile right back at her.
She is too damn cute.
Tatiana is three months old. All eight of us were present at her birth. You really can’t separate us…if one of us gets called, we start a phone tree to alert the others.
Tatiana looks just like Tina when she was a baby; chubby and cute as hell with dark hair. The only difference is my sweet little girlie has Nik’s amber eyes rather than Tina’s green ones. Tina was overjoyed at this. She loves Nik’s eye color.
I walk over to the storeroom and knock before I enter. Tina sits behind the desk going through paperwork. She smiles as we enter. She coos to her daughter. “Hi, my beautiful girl. Are you giving Teta Nat a hard time? You eating her hair again? My cheeky little thing.” She takes Tatiana out of my hands and pops her onto her hip. Tina’s smiling face falls when she looks over to me. She asks, “Everything okay?”
No.
My heart aches whenever I’m around Tatiana. I’ll never have children. Watching Tina with Tats brings me as much sorrow as it does happiness.
A random doctor’s appointment last year led me to being diagnosed with PCOS. I have cysts on my ovaries and uterus. I have around eighty cysts on each ovary.
That’s a lot.
The doctor advised me to be prepared for the fact that I’ll never have children. My ovaries and uterus are too scarred and damaged for me to conceive.
I force a large smile and reply, “Of course. Just a little edgy with the move, that’s all.”
Tina smiles. “Don’t you even worry about the move. I asked the girls to help out. The guys offered to help, but I told them this was girl-bonding time.”
Smiling back at her, I sigh. “What would I do without you?”
She scrunches her nose and tilts her head up. “You’d have to buy cupcakes.” She blinks and goes on “That’s about it.” We both laugh.
Tina’s cupcakes are the bomb. Actually, anything Tina bakes is out of this world.
Tina owns Safira Boutique. Safira’s is a clothing store, but we also sell accessories and lingerie. Mimi, Lola and I work with Tina. Right across the street is The White Rabbit, which is where all the guys work. We’re pretty close knit which makes avoiding Ghost not so easy.
For seven months, I’ve managed to stay away from him. We haven’t so much as said hello to each other in this time. What’s crazy is I miss his stupid little aggravating comments and how he called me pretty girl. What’s not crazy is that, of course, I want the bad boy.
But isn’t that always the way it goes?
Every girl wants a bad boy who is only good to her.
We all want to tame a wild beast. And Ghost is as wild as a man comes. He’s unpredictable, broody and emotionless. He may as well be a wild animal. I’ve never even heard him laugh before.
The Ghost of my fantasies is loving, dominant and funny. That Ghost doesn’t exist. He’s in my head.
My memories of the night Ghost and I had crazy monkey sex are as clear as daylight.
They haunt me.
Every. Freaking. Night.
My belly tightens and I flush whenever I think about it.
Tina pulls me back to reality with an amused, “Hellllloooooo? Anyone in there?” She flaps her hand in front of my face.
My face forms a scowl and I poke her lightly in the ribs. She giggles and I smile. My friend is a goofball, but she’s so adorable that it just makes her even cuter. We make each other laugh all the time. It’s the real basis of our friendship.
I sigh and say, “Please tell me you baked.”
Her face falls immediately and I know she didn’t. Tina wears her heart on her sleeve. I love that.
“Oh, honey, I promise I will soon. It’s just with Tatiana and the housework, and Ceecee, I’ve been all over the place!” She sounds panicked.
I quietly laugh and reassure her, “Sweetie, I was only kidding! It’s not a cupcake emergency day.”
She looks only slightly reassured and promises, “Tomorrow. Cupcakes.”
Toot toot! Yum!
I glance at the wall clock. 3:24pm. A few hours and I’ll be moved into my new place.
Wicked.
***
The moving truck has arrived, and we’re all working on getting the boxes inside my fabulous new apartment. The price was a little over my budget, but the security in this place is amazing! There’s a code to get through the front door and a different code to use the elevator. Each apartment has a security system, and the premises are monitored. I was happy to spend an extra fifty a month on rent to be secure in my little home.
The moving guys help put my furniture in as promised. Once all the heavy items are inside, the girls and I take over. Lola, Mimi and Tina are opening boxes and moving them in and out of rooms.
This is why you need girls to unpack a girl’s apartment. They all know where things should go!
With the four of us going at it, it only takes two hours, and I’m ecstatic when we finish.
Lola disappears for a minute then returns with some champagne. Not the cheap stuff but Dom Perignon.
Six hundred dollar champagne! I’m giddy!
This has to be thanks to Nik. God, I love that man.
I look over to Tina and grin. “I love your husband.” Tina smiles and shrugs.
Mimi pops open the bottle and we all whoop and cheer. She pours glasses for us, and we all drink with enthusiasm, apart from Tina who takes only a tiny sip because she’s breastfeeding Tats.
After we drink, they all hug and kiss me. I thank them for their help and wave them off. I shut the door and lean my head against it.
Alone at last.
I love my friends, but I seriously love my alone time too.
I turn my back to the door, scan my newly outfitted apartment and smile.
It looks awesome!
I didn’t add a lot of new things to it, but what I had, mixed with the new things I bought, makes the apartment look classy and chic. Tina gave me her old sofa, which is so damn comfortable I can’t risk sitting on it before going out, or I know I’ll change my mind and end up falling asleep in front of the TV. She also gave me some bits and pieces from our old place because Nik already has things to match his home.
The apartment isn’t large, but it’s open plan with only the bedroom and bathroom separate.
I love it.
The kitchen was only remodeled a year ago. It has a wicked marble-look breakfast bar and new wooden cabinets for my dishes and pans. The sink is double width and the faucets are shiny. The lounging area is a little cramped for such a huge TV. I bought a brand spanking new 60-inch TV which the movers kindly helped me put up on the wall. I love watching TV. Nothing makes me happier than curling up on the couch and watching a movie.
Okay, so call me antisocial.
Don’t get me wrong, I love going out. On weekends. If I have to work the next day, (which I do almost every day) there is no way I’m dragging my butt out of bed early. Tina calls me a zombie. My friend is not wrong. Once I’m asleep, it’s lights out. I don’t hear or see anything after that. Only if a person shakes me awake will I stir. Slightly. If anyone is stupid enough to wake me, that is.
I sigh then push myself off the door. I walk down the hall to my new bathroom which is also newly remodeled and immaculate, and turn on the shower. I undress, step in and let the hot water wash away any negativity that sticks to me.
Serenity now.
I scrub til my skin is almost raw. I turn off the water, step out and wrap my hair in a turban. I moisturize my face, walk naked to my room, get some silk panties on followed by my jammies, and I’m ready to watch TV.
My jammies are so damn comfortable. They’re pretty ratty, but comfort trumps everything when you’re not in a relationship. My black spaghetti strap tank comes just above my belly button, and my red Minnie Mouse pajama pants and my Minnie Mouse head slippers complete my ensemble.
But my panties are always silk and sexy. I like to splurge on myself when it comes to lingerie. Even if no one sees it, it makes me feel sexy.
I brush my hair out, take the Strawberry Cheesecake ice-cream out of the freezer, grab a spoon and sink into the sofa with a plop. I turn on the TV and get excited when I find an old eighties teen movie.
Score!
I love old eighties teen movies! So much angst and bitterness. Just like me!
Being a teenager was awesome. No problems, all you really had to worry about was who you were crushing on that week. And high school. And the latest fashions. And pimples. And hormones.
You know what, I take it back.
Being a teenager sucked ass.
I’m lost in the movie when I hear a loud thump followed by a female giggling. I blink then smirk.
My neighbor is getting lucky tonight.
Good for them.
Ten minutes passes and another loud thump hits the wall behind the TV. My TV jiggles and I’m suddenly worried that my two thousand dollar TV will fall off the wall and smash into pieces.
Another thump, then another hits the wall followed by a long female moan.
Oh, shit. Really?
Against my damn wall?
Let them go, they’re just having some fun.
And ruining my damn movie!
Another five minutes of thumps hitting my wall and I’ve had it. I turn off the TV and head to bed. I crawl in and let out a happy sigh.
I love sleep so much!
I pull the covers up to my chin then breathe in deep. Upon the exhale, I hear a woman’s muffled yell, “OH, GOD! YES! YES! YESSSSSssssssss!” Then silence.
Well, that was fun.
At least someone’s getting some.
Touché, brain.
I curl up deeper into my bed and fall asleep.
***
“Oh, God. Yes! Yes, baby! Yes!”
What the feck?
My eyelids flutter open and immediately I know something is wrong.
It’s still dark out. So, why am I awake?
I glance over at the digital alarm clock which reads 12:37am.
“Harder, baby! Yes! Ohhhhhhhh, God! Yes!” The freakin’ female wailer is back.
Stupid neighbors.
I put the pillow over my head and groan.
“Oh, yes! F*ck me! Deeper!”
Oh, just put a freakin’ bullet in my brain, would ya?
“Yes! Yes! YESSSSSSsssssss!” Then silence.
I listen for a moment but hear nothing, so I snuggle my pillow and fall back asleep.
***
“Oh, God! Baby, just like that! Yes! Oh my God! Yes!”
You have got to be freakin’ kidding me.
I peek at the digital clock which reads 1:45am.
My blood boils.
Screwing with my sleep once a night is bad enough, but twice?! I run a hand over my face.
Oh, dear God, give me strength!
It takes every last bit of willpower for me to not go over there and smack some sense into them.
“Please, baby! Give it to me! Yes! Yes! Oh god yes!”
This is a selfish woman. She’s had at least three orgasms tonight.
Leave some for the rest of us, lady.
“Baby, please! Yes! Yes! YESSSSSssssss!” Then silence.
Thank god!
I snuggle deeper into my bed and sigh. Just as I’m about to fall asleep, it starts.
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.
My eyes flash with rage.
They cannot be serious!
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.
What is this man? A freakin’ cyborg?!
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP.
I start silently sobbing into my pillow. I love my sleep so much I’ll cry over losing it.
Then I stare up at the ceiling and silently fume.
***
My eye twitches with rage.
I peek over at the digital clock. 2:57am.
They’ve been at it for hours. I’ve alternated crying, cursing and praying. Nothing helps. I grit my teeth.
My neighbors suck ass!
I’ve decided I already hate them. I won’t ever send them a Christmas card. Ever.
“Oh, God! Baby, yes! Harder, baby! Oh! Oh! Oh!”
My eye twitches again. I’ve been staring at the ceiling for ages. My eyes are sore and scratchy.
I can’t sleep in these conditions!
Call the cops.
No, it’ll take too long. I need sleep now!
“Yes! Babbbbbyyyy! YEEESSSSSSSssssss!”
THAT. IS. IT!
I’ve had it!
I throw the covers off me, stomp to the bathroom and tie my hair into a messy bun at the very top of my head. I storm down the hall and out of my apartment. I pound on my neighbors’ door and wait.
The latch unlocks, the door opens and I see a short but very pretty woman stand before me in only a man’s shirt. She is blonde, blue eyed and slender. She wears a welcoming smile.
I scowl and say, “I’m sorry to bother your love-fest, but it’s three in the freakin’ morning and I have work in the morning.”
She looks apologetic and just as she opens her mouth to speak I hear a husky man’s voice come from the hallway, “I’m sorry, ma’am.” The lights are off so I can’t see him properly because his head is down, focusing on the buttons of the shirt he’s doing up as he walks to the door. He goes on, “It won’t happen again.” Then he lifts his head.
My stomach dips.
I shrink and freeze.
My heart squeezes as I whisper, “Ghost?”
Ghost looks stunned. He chokes out, “Nat, what are you doing here?”
I look down and answer quietly, “I- Ah- I live next door.” I clear my throat and put on my famous scowl, “Keep the noise down, please. I’ve got to work tomorrow.” I turn to walk away.
Ghost stops me with a hand on my arm and a pleading, “Nat, hold up.”
I pull my arm roughly from his grip and hiss, “I’m tired and I don’t want to talk, goddamn it.” I whisper hoarsely, “I just want some freakin’ sleep. So, for the love of God, please f*ck her quietly.”
I turn on my heel and rush back to my apartment.
Well, that was fun.
Once I close the door, I put a hand to my chest, breathe in deeply then exhale slowly.
Well, seeing Ghost with another woman was something else. It hurt more than I’m willing to admit to myself. There is a piercing ache in my chest. I gently rub at it.
I’m just about to move from the door when I hear a muffled Ghost say, “Tasha, I think you should go.”
My eyes widen and I tiptoe closer to the wall. I press my ear against it and hear the woman reply, “Sure thing, lover. Sorry about that. I get a little loud. Who was that anyway?”
Ghost replies, “No one.”
Ouch.
That freakin’ hurts.
My throat clogs, my eyes mist and I move away from the wall. I head back to my room, crawl into bed and pull the covers up over my head.
Then I do something I’ve never done over a man.
I cry.
***
I see Tasha out of the apartment, lean back against the door and think.
What just happened?
Tasha and I were screwing. Pretty loudly. But we were havin’ a good time. Then out of nowhere comes my living fantasy. To my apartment. While I’m screwing another woman.
Yeah, not good.
My chest aches.
What do you care? She doesn’t.
Yeah… I’m sure she doesn’t. Although, when she realized it was me, she looked kinda hurt.
Nah. Nat doesn’t feel. Ever.
Yep. That’s for sure. I’ve never met a woman like her before. She’s a total bitch.
Goddamn, she’s sexy though.
Ain’t it the truth?
Even wearing ridiculous mouse pajamas and slippers, she looked hot, which put me off Tasha right away. Not a stitch of makeup on and her red hair up in a stupid looking ball at the top of her head, wearing a tiny tank top with no bra.
Hot.
I don’t know why I felt the need to explain to her that Tasha and I were only screwing. I don’t do relationships. They require people to eventually move in together and sleep in the same bed together. And I can’t do that.
I have extreme nightmares. Well, technically, they’re memories.
Memories of my father, mother, my childhood, pain and hurt. Everything that came with growing up in my house.
Ever since I lived with Nik and Max’s family, I knew something was wrong. They looked at me with pity for days when I got there. I never woke in my nightmares. Only one night when Nik’s mother, Cecilia, tried to hold me during a fitful sleep and I attacked her, did I ever find out about what I was capable of during my sleep. I punched Cecilia in the face. I was so worried Nik’s dad would kick me out, I actually cried. I couldn’t go back home. But Nik’s dad, Ilia, was more of a father to me than my own. He was a kind man, but if you crossed him, you got yours.
I planned on killing my father. Ilia told me if I was serious about that, he would do it for me. Ilia was part of a Russian gang called Chaos. He claimed me as his own, so when Nik was recruited after Ilia died, Max and I joined with him. I felt I owed it to him.
I never knew what having a family was like until Nik befriended me. I’d never even had a friend before. He had my back before he even knew me. In high school, I got picked on for having ripped or dirty clothes. Nik approached me one day while I was getting picked on and asked if I needed a hand. He’ll never know what that gesture meant to me. I sorta tagged along with him after that and I was surprised he let me. Everyone wanted to be Nik’s friend in high school, but he was selective. After I met his father, I knew why. Nik only befriended people he could be real with.
Then Ilia suggested I sleep at their house whenever I felt unsafe at home. Which was always. So, I basically came over one day and never left. I even had my very own room. Cecilia, who I call Mama, went out the next day and bought me an entire closet full of clothes and three pairs of shoes.
I didn’t even know people could own three pairs of shoes. I had one pair and they were falling apart.
Ever since that day, Nik started introducing me as his brother. And I really do consider Nik and Max my brothers.
One day in gym class, Nik happened to see my scars and bruises. He asked me about them but I took off. I didn’t come home for a week. When I finally returned, Mama cried with relief. I’d never had someone be worried about me. She told me I was grounded and to never scare her like that again.
I smile at the memory. I took my punishment without a word. Mama’s tears of love were worth a week of chores.
Mama likes Nat. She told me to get off my ass and ask her out.
Yeah.
Quite frankly, I’d rather have fire ants nibble at my balls.
So the shrew is my new neighbor.
Kiss my grits.
I smirk.
At least the view will be nice.