Chapter Sixteen
Tricks and mind games
Thursday night is board-game night.
Well, it used to be poker night before it turned into board-game night, and now it’s really movie night/play with the kid’s night.
I gotta say, I love Thursday nights.
We start it earlier than we used to. Instead of going home and showering, we all just go to Nik and Tina’s straight from work.
A huge smile crosses my face. I can’t wait to see my little angel baby. As soon as Mimi parks her car, I jump out of the passenger side and run to the front door. The door opens and a smiling Tina stands in the doorway holding a wriggling Tatiana.
Without even greeting Tina, I snatch Tatiana from her and coo, “How is my widdle baby. Oh, I missed you.” Then I plant a million and one kisses on her warm chubby cheeks.
Finally turning to Tina, I ask, “Has she had dinner yet?”
A smiling Tina replies slightly exasperated, “No. She’s teething, so all she wants is rice pudding and milk.”
I hear Nik talk to Meems while I carry Tatiana through to the kitchen with me. I yell back to Tina, “Rice pudding I can do, but you’re in charge of boobie milk, mama.”
Max and his sweet ten-year-old daughter Ceecee are sneaking around in the kitchen when I walk in. They look up at me. I see they wear matching guilty expressions and I narrow my eyes at them both. I whisper, “Were you stealing cupcakes?”
Ceecee has such a sweet disposition. She has auburn shoulder length hair and amber colored eyes. When she was just a baby, she was involved in an accident. Max’s ex-girlfriend had gone through postpartum depression, and just as she was recovering, she made a small mistake that changed their lives forever. Maddie put Ceecee up on the counter and turned to get something out of the fridge. Ceecee fell backwards and hit a stool on the way down. Her tiny body was twisted in such a way that she was left a paraplegic.
From looking at them, you’d never know the struggles they’ve been through and, secretly, Max is my hero. He’s the type of dad that gets Father of the Year every year. A total catch for any woman.
Max looks down at Ceecee wide eyed and they both answer, “No.” Oh, I might’ve believed them before I saw both their mouths stuffed full of chocolate cake. I whisper hiss, “You guys are in so much trouble!”
Ceecee covers her mouth and giggles and I smile. She is so damn sweet. I just want to eat her. I pass Tatiana over to her uncle Max, grab a cupcake and tell Ceecee, “Let an old pro show you how it’s done, honey.”
I carefully peel the wrapper off, bounce up and down like a boxer while craning my neck side to side. Max bursts into laughter and I narrow my eyes at him before turning to face a wide-eyed Ceecee. Max counts me down. “Three. Two. One. Go.”
And I shove the entire cupcake into my mouth. Ceecee covers her mouth in astonishment and giggles loudly. Max laughs hysterically while bouncing Tatiana on his hip. I chew and chew and freakin’ chew for a good minute. I swallow the cake and take a big bow.
“Wow. That was awesome,” Ceecee whispers.
Max smirks. “That’s impressive.” He hands over Tatiana and whispers in my ear, “Makes me wonder what else you could fit in that mouth.”
I slap his shoulder and mouth behave, then take Tatiana and her rice pudding over to her high chair and sit at the dining table. Nik and Meems come out from the hallway. As soon as Nik sees his daughter, his eyes soften and he melts a little. He comes over to where I’m feeding her and kisses her cheeks saying, “Who’s daddy’s girl? Huh? Are you daddy’s girl?”
Tatiana looks up at her daddy with her dark hair and amber eyes and smiles a wide gummy smile. I can’t help but laugh at her. It must be nice being a baby. No worries at all. I hate mushy mush, but when it comes to children, I go gaga too. I turn my smiling face up to him. “You did good, Niki. She’s perfect.”
Leaning down, Nik kisses my forehead and says, “Thanks, babe. Love ya.” And then he leaves me to feed his golden-eyed daughter.
Suddenly, the front door opens and I hear arguing coming from the hall.
“I just want to know where you go! Why is that so much to ask if you’re not cheating on me?” That’s Lola.
Trick responds, “Baby, I don’t have time to cheat on you even if I wanted to!” And I cringe.
Wrong answer, Trick.
Lola raises her voice in disbelief. “I don’t believe you! I don’t know how much more of this I can take, Diego.”
Using Trick’s real name shows just how pissed she is. Storming down the hall over to where Mimi, Nik and Max stand wearing equally stunned expressions, Lola’s wide brown eyes water as she asks loudly, “Where does he go at night?” Her voice cracks and I know she’s going to lose it.
Tina comes forward wearing a sympathetic expression and says to Lola, “C’mon, honey. Let’s go.” She and Mimi lead her down the hall to her bedroom, but not before Mimi openly glares toward the front door.
Just as I hear the bedroom door shut, Trick emerges from the hall looking unkempt and tired. At least he shaved today. I turn back to Tatiana. Feeding her, I tell him quietly, “I don’t know what’s going on with you, Trick, but family doesn’t keep things from each other. You got something to say, just say it. We need you as much as you need us, and I don’t like that you’re pulling away from Lola.”
Max and Nik don’t say a thing, but I see Max nodding his agreement in my peripheral vision. Without a word, Trick walks over to me and kisses my cheek. He takes the spoon from my fingers and nudges me to get up. I get up and leave him to feed Tatiana. At least she can get a smile out of him these days.
Walking over to Nik and Max, I ask them, “So, what’s for dinner?”
Nik says, “Chinese” at the same time Max says, “Pizza.”
They both turn to each other. My eyes widen and I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.
It’s a stare off.
“We can’t have pizza every second night, Max!” Nik snaps.
Max nods and says, “Yeah we can, Dik. That’s the beauty of pizza. So many different toppings, it’s like you’re eating a different meal every time!”
“It’s not good for Ceecee.” Nik retorts.
Max narrows his eyes and puffs out a breath, his face wearing an Oh please, is that the best you got expression. He yells out, “Ceecee, baby. You want pizza?”
Ceecee yells back from her room, “I love pizza!”
Max smirks and widens his hands in a what else you got stance. Nik’s brows furrow before his face turns triumphant. Wearing a shit-eating grin, he tells Max, “Tina wants Chinese.”
Game over.
Tina always wins. She has this way of making you feel bad without actually doing anything to make you feel bad. She’s too damn sweet is what it is.
Max’s mouth pulls down into a frown. He sighs. “Fine. We’ll get the f*cking Chinese food.”
Just then Tina comes down the hall with a smile and says, “Pizza! Yay!”
Max and I turn to look at Nik. His face falls with defeat and Max and I burst into laughter. Getting a cramp, I clutch my stomach. We laugh long and hard. Even Nik chuckles and says, “Knuckleheads,” before walking into the kitchen.
Smiling like idiots, Max wraps his arm around my shoulder and walks me over to the sofa. He sits then pulls me down into him. I really can’t help myself. I ask, “Where’s Ghost?”
Max’s reply makes my good mood turn to a blazing inferno of emotions. He answers, “With Tasha.”
He’s with Tasha? Tasha ScreamFace? Miss Oh-God-Yes-Yes-Yes?
My chest aches and my stomach drops.
I clear my throat. “That’s nice. How long’s he been seeing her?”
Max snorts in response. “Ghost doesn’t see anyone. They’re just interchangeable pussies for him. I think he’s been f*cking Tasha for a few months, but it’s just out of laziness. He can’t be bothered finding another woman. He says Tasha’s a wild one. He likes ‘em like that.” Completely unaware of how much what he’s saying is hurting me, Max continues, “I don’t think Ghost will ever settle down. It’s just not him, ya know? He doesn’t even know how to talk to people. Sure as hell doesn’t trust anyone. Why do you think he got into security?”
He squeezes me tight and I say, “But he’ll get over whatever’s bothering him though, right?”
“Don’t count on it, babe,” Max replies quietly.
Okay, so either my heart is breaking or someone stabbed me in the boob.
Before I can contemplate what I’m feeling right now, the front door opens. Max and I both look up from our position on the sofa to look down the entry to the hall. Asher walks through wearing an annoyed expression, a sexy skintight, black long-sleeved tee, blue jeans and sneakers.
Annoyed or not, my heart soars.
He came! He’s here! Meaning he’s not f*cking Tasha! Yay!
As soon as he sees Max holding me on the sofa, his scowl deepens. He asks in a deadly voice, “Having fun there?”
Max just chuckles while wrapping me tighter in his arms. “Hell yeah! I’m watchin’ TV with one of my favorite girls. We’re having pizza tonight and Nat said she’d blow me later.”
Now, get this. Never in my life have I taken Max seriously. We always joke like this and I’ve never felt the need to correct him. I always joke back. We have a playful dirty banter and laugh together.
Yeah. Not today.
My face flushes, I jump up from the sofa, turn my wide eyes to Asher and pointing to Max, I yell, “He’s lying!”
I have no idea where the need to defend myself came from, but Max looks at me like I’ve seriously lost my mind while Asher looks pleased and about to burst into laughter. Realizing what I’ve just done, I say quietly, “Sorry. I don’t know where that came from. Something’s wrong with me.”
A light bulb goes off in my head and I say the magic words. “I must be getting my period.”
Max’s face turns uncomfortable and he utters, “TMI, babe. T. M. I.”
I look over to Ash wearing a shit-eating grin. My expression clearly says I win. He rolls his eyes at me then goes over to greet Trick and Tatiana who has more rice pudding on her face than in her mouth. Something tugs my pants leg. I look down at Max. He wears a frown and whispers, “Everything okay?”
A fake smile spreads across my face. I reply, “Just peachy.”
He nods in resignation. “Let’s order the pizza.” He stands, puts his arm around my shoulder and we walk into the kitchen together.
I sneak a peek at Asher and can’t hide my smile.
Tatiana’s sucking on his nose again.
Sigh. Ah, them feels.
***
As we exit his car, Asher walks around to me and puts his arm around my waist, pulling me close. Still shocked at tonight’s events, I’m not sure what I’m feeling exactly, but I am exhausted.
It all started an hour after we all got to Nik and Tina’s. Lola and Trick were obviously not seeing eye-to-eye so Trick left. No goodbyes. No wave. Just up and left. Shortly after that, Lola emerged from the bedroom, red-eyed and announced, “Sorry guys, I think I’ll just go-” The poor girl looked around the room, lowered her head and whispered, “He’s gone, isn’t he?”
My gut twisted for her.
Enough of this bullshit!
Luckily, Mimi, Tina and Tatiana were off playing in Ceecee’s room. I crossed the room to take a sobbing Lola into my arms before turning to Nik, Max and Asher and stating, “Enough is enough. Tell her what’s going on! Trick isn’t going to and…” Shocked to feel my own tears welling, I choked out, “…her heart is breaking.”
When you have friends like I do, even a cold person like me is affected by their hurt. My heart squeezes. Looking right into Ash, I whispered, “I can’t watch this anymore. It hurts my heart.”
Ash turned to his brothers and firmly said, “Deal with this.” This was clearly not a request.
He walked over to Lola, kissed her head then picked up his keys and left. Leaving me confused as hell, I yelled out, “Is someone going to tell us what the f*ck is going on?”
Max and Nik turned to each other and with facial expressions and hand gestures, they had a silent conversation. A minute later, Max sighed, “We told Trick to tell you, Lola. The guy’s falling apart.”
Lola lifts her head from my shoulder and replied a watery, “He’s hurting me so bad!”
Nik and Max have three sisters. You’d expect they would be used to tears, but whenever one of us girls cries, they look like they want to put a fist through a wall. Max stepped up and explained, “We promised Trick we wouldn’t say anything. Sorry girls, he trusts us.”
Lola lowered her head to my shoulder and wailed hard. A panicked Nik argued, “Yeah, he trusts us. And we would never say anything. So we can’t say anything,” nodding every time he said say, trying to get a point through to us.
Catching on, I encouraged, “Okay. So don’t tell us. Show us.”
Max’s brow furrowed and he shook his head at Nik disapprovingly. Nik pointed to Lola with a she’s breakin’ my heart expression. Max turned and looked at Lola a short while before sighing and nodding. Nik stood in front of me while I held Lola, put his hands together in a cradle action under his chest and rocked his arms back and forth. I gasped, “Trick’s got a baby?”
Lola lifted her head in shock and shrieked, “What?”
Max and Nik both vigorously shook their heads.
You’re really bad at this shit.
Nik tried again with the same action as before and Lola yelled out random words like she was on a quiz show, “Uh, baby! Crib! Cradle! Children! Sleep! Rock! Rock! It’s rock! He’s in a rock band! Don’t throw rocks at glass houses! Uh, he rocks? Just tell me!”
Both Max and Nik wear mirrored expressions that said where the hell are you coming up with this stuff and shaking their heads. During this time of commotion, we hadn’t heard the front door open.
“My mom. She’s sick.”
We all turn to look at the hall where Ash stood with a hand on Trick’s shoulder in an obvious show of support. Trick looked devastated. So devastated that I hid my quivering lip by biting it. Lola ran over to Trick and threw herself at him saying, “I’m so sorry, baby. You should’ve told me. I could’ve helped somehow.”
And just like that Trick and Lola were once again Trick and Lola. Trick even smiled.
Anyone could see the night was over, and I really wasn’t in the mood for pizza anymore. I went into Ceecee’s room pleading a headache and said goodbye to everyone. Not caring who saw, I walked over to Ash who still had his keys in hand. He put his arm around my shoulder, I put my arm around his waist and we left.
After Tina’s mom and daughter died, I told myself that I would wake up every morning with a good attitude. For months after they passed, I would repeat the mantra ‘I will be grateful for this day’ because the thing is, you think you have time. Living our droll everyday lives, we forget to relax and just live in the moment. We need to count our blessings not our problems. Everyone in life is fighting their own battles. Ones you’ll never see unless they allow it.
Which brings us to now.
Without even asking permission, I follow Ash into his apartment, walk past him toward his room, over to his bed and fall forward, faceplanting. Not ten seconds pass when I felt his bed dip. Both obviously unsure what to say, we lay in the dark in comfortable silence, stuck in our own thoughts.
After a while of thinking about every random thing my brain could possibly present to me, I turn my head to the side and whisper, “Don’t let me fall asleep, okay?”
Through a yawn, Ash replies, “Okay, babe. Talk to me.”
Glad that he wants me here, I do. I tell him all about my childhood. How it was growing up Croatian. About the time Helena put the cat in the fridge. How mom makes me pala?inke, Croatian pancakes, every time I come home. That my dad knows how to swear in eight languages. About my first high school crush.
“And he was such an ass. He told everyone he f*cked me and that I wasn’t any good. I mean puh-lease, right? If I could, I’d f*ck myself because I’m that good.” With every soft and slow word I say, my eyes droop further closed. Somehow we’ve become tangled in each other. Ash cradles me to his chest with his nose buried in my hair, breathing me in. I remind him, “Don’t let me fall asleep, okay?”
He grunts his acknowledgement so I continue weakly, “Then I saw him a while later and he was all, ‘you look so good’ and ‘maybe we could go on a date’…” Through a yawn, I go on, barely able to keep my eyes open and slurring my words, “…and I was like whatever, a*shole.”
Everything fades to black.
Lights out.