“No one else has ever made me feel like that. Especially not Adam. Maybe it doesn’t matter, but I never let him touch me after I was with you.” She pauses. “I’m going to do whatever it takes to make things up to you. I’m already trying to think of ways I can get kicked out of Blue Pointe.”
And even though she’s never said it, I finally know for sure how she feels about me. Darla was right about what love is. And there is apparently no end to the stupid stuff Parvati will do for the people she loves.
But do I love her back?
Maybe. I hate seeing her in pain. I want her to be happy.
Is that enough?
I don’t know.
Can you ever really know? Trust doesn’t come easily to me, and if I stay together with Parvati we’ll have to rebuild it almost from scratch. I’m not going to lie, though. There are a lot of things I’d enjoy doing over with her.
I study her expression, trying to memorize what love looks like, just in case things don’t work out. Apparently, it looks vulnerable, like a dog that’s been hit by a car. Just lying there on the pavement, waiting for you to run into the street and scoop it up in your arms.
I think I would run into the street for her.
I can’t help it. I lean in close to brush my lips against her jawbone. She’s so warm. She smells so good—no perfume, no cinnamon. Just softness. “Don’t get kicked out. It’s only a semester. Besides, I recently came into a little money, so if you’re nice, I might even come visit you.”
Parvati bites at her lower lip. “Really?” One word. So much hope.
“Let’s take it a day at a time and see what happens,” I say.
“Okay.” She reaches out for my hand. “Do you know why I love you, Max Cantrell?”
I let her slip her fingers between mine. “Because your dad hates me?”
“No.”
“Because I recently came into a little money?”
She laughs her tinkly little laugh. “Because you make me want to be better.” Lifting her chin, she stares at me with her dark eyes. Her breath is a whisper against my skin.
I squeeze her hand as I tilt my head low. Our lips brush, just barely, and it feels like something worth saving.
The front door slams. “Eeeew,” Amanda says. “You guys are gross.” Sighing, I turn toward my sister reluctantly. She’s holding a cupcake in each hand. “Mom says it’s time for cupcakes and to tell Parvati she’s invited.”
I arch an eyebrow. “You want to stay?”
“Sure.” Parvati lets me pull her to her feet. She keeps hold of my hand as we follow my sister inside. “Cupcake time,” she tells Amanda. “My favorite time in the whole world.”
I lean close to her. “Liar,” I whisper in her ear.
“Sometimes,” she admits. “But I’m working on it.”
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
MUCH LOVE TO MY FAMILY and friends for being awesome and putting up with my insane schedule and volatile mood swings throughout the writing and revising of this book. I think the end result was worth it. I hope you agree.
Thanks to Jennifer Laughran, Karen Chaplin, the amazing staff at HarperTeen, the YA Valentines, my street team members, and everyone who takes the time to rate or review my books. Your feedback—the positive and the critical—is invaluable to me.
I had a lot of early readers who helped me take this book to the next level: Cathy Castelli, Marcy Beller Paul, Jessica Fonseca, Ken Howe, Antony John, Heather Anastasiu, Tara Kelly, Howard Price, Ben Oris, Stacee Evans, Sarah Reis, and Surbhi Patel. Thanks to all of you for serving as betas or experts. Other people who rock: All of Team Canada—there are too many of you to name, but you know who you are. Jessica Spotswood and Elizabeth Richards, for email therapy and believing in me. Christina Ahn and Jamie Krakover, for being my St. Louis blogger-reader-writer friends forever. Monica Lopez, for always playing WITWI and teaching Parvati and me how to search by image. And of course Nikki Wang, for ALL CAPS, endless support, and general Nikki Wangishness. None of you are ever allowed to change.
And as always, thanks to the readers. There are so many other things you could be doing, so many other books you could pick up instead. Thank you for making it possible for me to live my dreams.