CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I overslept. When I woke, the sounds of shouting and laughter already carried through the house.
Another busy day in the Stage Dive world.
In all honesty, I didn’t know what came next. Since he’d run off Tom, I’d have to find him another replacement companion/assistant. Time would tell if I still got to do the apprenticeship with Pam. Perhaps I’d see about enrolling in an arts college or something, studying photography another way. I’d finally found what I just might want to do with the rest of my life. Something I could be passionate about. There was one almighty positive to come out of this screwed up situation.
“Hey,” I said, wandering in to the kitchen, my hair still wet from the shower.
The guys were gathered around the table, throwing back coffee and various energy drinks. Mal was apparently practicing his wedding speech, ready for Vegas. He stood tall on a chair while the others jeered and threw wadded up balls of paper. Dean hung out in the corner, giving me a brief attempt at a smile. Even Taylor and Pam were here, standing with their arms around one another. Further proof of love everlasting and coupley happiness.
Next time I’d do the smart thing and be sure to fall for someone who wanted me as much as I wanted them. Next time.
“Lena, agrees with me. Don’t you, Lena?” Mal called out upon my entering the room.
“Of course, Mal.”
“You have no idea what you just agreed to,” said Ben, smiling at me over the rim of his coffee cup.
“Shut up, Ben,” said the mad drummer. “Every Vegas wedding needs a couple of burlesque dancers for effect, Lena gets that. She’s more enlightened than you fools.”
“Anne is going to shoot you down in flames,” said Ben.
I shook my head and kept moving. No way was I getting sucked any further into that discussion.
I caught Jimmy out of the corner of my eye, dressed in his usual all black, leaning against the counter. If I didn’t look at him directly maybe I could still get out of this with the one small, unbroken piece still intact. First things first, coffee. I headed for the pot, filling a mug to the brim. Forget sugar and milk, someone needed to pump caffeine directly into my bloodstream before anyone got hurt.
“Dave, get your fucking boots off the table,” Jimmy grouched.
“You’re a god damn delight today, Jim,” said David. “Something happen to warrant the good mood?”
His brother didn’t reply.
I sucked down some coffee, burning my tongue. No matter, it was a small pain, nothing really.
“I need that shit on the interview ready and the plans for the first leg of the tour, Lena. Now.” Jimmy dumped his empty mug in the sink good and hard. I’m surprised it didn’t break. “Try to be up on time and ready for work in future, yeah?”
Slowly, I turned to face him, coffee still in hand.
He stared straight at me. “No more fucking around. Right, Lena?”
My cup started to shake. His message was pertinent on oh so many levels. So this was it, can’t say it was unexpected. It almost came as a relief really, airing our grievances, casting it all out into the world. He might have waited until I no longer had his semen inside of me, just for politeness sake, though.
“Right,” I agreed, my voice flat, strange. I didn’t sound like myself at all.
Shadows lay beneath his cold pale eyes and the cut of his mouth and cheeks seemed harder, harsher than normal. I’d only gotten a little sleep, but it seemed Jimmy had gotten none at all. Every sharp line of him seemed wired, on edge.
All talk around the table stopped. Even Mal climbed down from his chair.
“You need a date for your sister’s wedding you’ll have to find someone else. I’m flying down to L.A. to see Liv.” His hands gripped the counter behind him, the muscles in his arms flexing. “I’ll be busy.”
I nodded. My tear ducts were gearing up for something big, I could feel it.
“And when you get back, start looking for your own place.”
I gasped, my stomach contracting. It actually felt like I’d been kicked and he’d caught a rib or two. So much hurt, inside and out. Foolish of me really, this messy ending had been written from the start. You didn’t just fall out of love with a man like Jimmy Ferris.
“Don’t need you in my face all the damn time,” he said. “You work nine to five until we go on tour then as needed. Got it?”
David slowly stood. “Jim …”
“Stay out of it. This is between me and her.” He turned back to me, his lips thinning in obvious hostility. “Understood, Lena?”
Ben cursed quietly.
“Understood. Will there be anything else, Mr. Ferris?” I asked, setting my coffee cup aside before I dropped it.
His voice cut through me like a sword. “None of your cute shit. We’re strictly business. I don’t want your opinion and I sure as fuck don’t need your advice.”
My throat was dust.
“You do your job from now on and that’s it.”
“Jimmy.” David thumped his hands on the table. The one where Jimmy and I had made love. Fucked. Whatever.
“Stop this,” said David, face lined with fury. “Don’t talk to her like that.”
“She is not your concern, Dave. She never was.”
I stood there numb, but knowing what I had to do. “Fire me.”
“What?”
Every eye in the room was on me, but I only looked at him. He’d wanted an audience and he’d gotten one. Fucked if I’d play into it any further. People would think what they liked and there was nothing I could do about it, he’d been right about that. We’d gone into freefall when I told him I loved him. It was time to hit the ground.
“Fire me,” I said. “That’s how this ends.”
Jimmy’s nostrils flared.
“That’s how this was always going to end.”
Fury flashed in his eyes.
“Go on.”