Jimmy sipped his Coke in silence. He may or may not have been pouting, I refused to check.
“Mm, everything looks good.” It also looked wildly overpriced. I always went Dutch on dates, but this time, it might very well kill me. Trust Jimmy to pick the most expensive damn place in town. I was tempted to kick him once more, just for fun.
Ben’s cell pinged again and Jimmy reached over, picking it up. His brows rose high as he checked out the screen. “Fucking hell, man. Do you have a death wish?”
“None of your business.” Ben held out his hand.
Jimmy placed the cell back in it. “Right. Good luck with that, I’ll make sure your funeral’s real nice.”
Ben did not reply.
“I might just have an entrée,” I said, interrupting whatever was going on between them. “I’m not all that hungry.”
“What’s wrong? You don’t know what to try?” asked Jimmy, stealing the menu from me. He took his time looking it over. “Why don’t you have the ginger chicken, it’s got a caramelized sauce. You like sweet stuff. And … vermicelli with Asian greens. That’ll be good, I think you’ll enjoy it.”
“I can order for myself, thanks,” I bit out. “I’m just not that hungry.”
“You haven’t eaten since lunch. Course you are.” His face creased up in confusion. “C’mon, the chef here is great or I wouldn’t have chosen the place.”
“Just a soup or something, will do. Can I please have that back, please?”
“No.”
“Jimmy.”
He held the stupid thing out of reach. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Ben said nothing and hid behind his own menu. Coward. We were through. I could never date a man who didn’t stand beside me in the face of mindless oppression. Also, he was just too tall, I’d have constant neck aches trying to get high enough to kiss the guy.
“You are wrong,” I said, face warming in anger. “You are behaving all sorts of wrong. You shouldn’t even be here.”
He cocked his head and studied me. Still didn’t pass the damn menu. I swear I saw red, endless expanses of it. Though that might have been the scarlet silk lining the restaurant walls.
I clicked my fingers in demand. “Give it to me.”
A moment later his features relaxed, and finally, at long damn last, he handed the stupid thing over. “You’re worried about money.”
I followed Ben’s good example and hid behind the thick black folder.
“Lena?” Jimmy hooked a finger in the top of the menu, pulling it down so he could see me. “Me or Ben will pay. Why the hell are you worrying about that? Just enjoy yourself, eat what you want. That’s why I brought you here.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, searching for a calm happy place. It eluded me. “Jimmy, I pay Dutch when I go out on a date. It’s my way and I expect you to respect that. Also, you didn’t bring me here. Well, you did, but … never mind, I’m supposed to be here on a date with Ben. You are supposed to be somewhere else. Not sitting here, worrying about what I’m ordering for dinner or who’s paying or what we’re talking about.”
“And if I was somewhere else you’d wind up eating soup you don’t even want and going home hungry having been bored shitless while Benny played with his phone. So it’s just as well I am here.” He rested his chin atop the back of his chair. “Right, Ben?”
“Right, Jim.” Ben rose to his feet. “Guys, I’m just going to use the bathroom. Won’t be long.”
“Sure,” said Jim, eyes still on me.
With a brief smile, Ben turned to go. Then stopped, collecting his cell off the table. “Better take this with me. Seriously, I’m having a great time hanging with you two. We should definitely do this more often. See you soon.”
I watched the big man wander into a hallway. The broad expanse of his back disappeared into the dimly lit tunnel. Going, going, gone.
“He’s not coming back, is he?” I asked.
“Nope. He’s probably out the back door already.”
“I’ve never actually run off a guy on the first date before. What an achievement.”
“Don’t.” Jimmy looked up from the menu, pinning me with his eyes. “It’s Ben’s loss. You’re great.”
My mind reeled and my insides turned to mush. “No, you see? This is the problem with you. For every thoughtless assholish move you make, you then turn around and do or say something wonderful it just makes everything all right. I can never find my balance because I never know what’s going to come next. You’re impossible.”
He gave me a long look. “You finished?”
“Yes.”
He stood and returned his pilfered chair to a nearby table. The he sat in the one the bass player had so recently vacated. “I’m thinking the sugarcane prawn rolls, ginger chicken, BBQ pork buns, and a couple of the vegetable dishes. Sound good?”
“Sure.”
“I don’t know that you and Ben would be good together after all. Not sure what I was thinking there.” He didn’t seem particularly bothered by the failure. But then again, deep down where it mattered, neither was I. A big meh now sat where any upset regarding the situation should have been. With Jimmy sitting opposite me, watching me, happy hormones flooded my brain proving yet again just what an idiot I was when it came to him.
“Oh, well. It wouldn’t have gone any better if I’d picked someone,” I said with a smile. “I have the worst taste in men.”
He said nothing.
“Sorry. No offense meant.”
“None taken.”
“My collection of past boyfriends is not something to be proud of.”
“That bad, huh?”
“You have no idea. I have in my time dated a cheater, a thief, a repressed homosexual, a foot fetishist, and various men who just wanted a chance to meet my sister.”
“Why’s the foot fetishist so bad?”
“Always with the strappy high heels. My toes were killing me.”
“Ah.”
“Anyway, this is no longer a date.” I needed to say it out loud, just put it out there for the universe to hear. Let’s not explore why.
“No, of course not,” he agreed immediately with great conviction. It only stung a little. “It’s a business meeting between me and my assistant. I’m paying, order whatever you want.”
I swallowed a mouthful of soda water. “Thank you. Did I damage your suit?”
“No, just needs cleaning. I’m pretty sure you bruised me though.”
“You bruised my toes,” I said.
“We’re even then.”
I set aside the menu and slumped back in my seat while Jimmy ordered dinner. Poor, Ben. Also, how embarrassing, I hope he didn’t tell the others. Though they all knew we’d been planning on going out so the story was bound to get around. They were going to laugh their collective asses off. Mal in particular would never let me live it one down. Sometimes, having friends was a pain in the butt.
It was nothing less than the truth. They were important to me. Somehow, despite my best intentions to keep to myself, I’d failed miserably. For the first time in a long time I did have people I thought of as friends. People who came over to the house and hung out. People who invited me to things and genuinely wanted me to be there. As crap as I’d been at accepting invitations.
It was nice.
Before the waiter could slip away, I handed him my untouched gin. “I’m finished with that. Can you take it, please? Thank you.”
Jimmy watched in his usual blasé manner, completely unruffled. “You could have drunk it. I wouldn’t have minded.”
“I could have,” I said. “But it wouldn’t have felt right. And while it’s great that you have opinions on everything I think, wear, and do, I’m not going do something that doesn’t feel right just to please you, Jimmy.”
“You’re not drinking it because of me, so that actually makes no sense.”
I shrugged, gave him a half-hearted smile. “Sometimes things that make the least sense are the most true. Such is the mystery of life.”
He cocked an eyebrow at me, then looked down at his menu shaking his head. “You got that out of a fortune cookie, didn’t you?”
“Maybe.”