As I’m talking, I can see his expression changing from wary to eager. He leans forward, gazing at me as though for the first time.
“Yes,” he says emphatically, as I come to a finish. “Yes. Yes! And I’m sorry I reacted the way I did—because what am I thinking? You’d be a perfect fit for us! I’ve already seen how you react in a crisis. I’ve seen how quick and forward-thinking you are. You’re bright, you’re positive, you’re honest.…” His gaze flashes toward the vases, then glints teasingly at me. “You clearly have great attention to detail.… Basically I can say, without any further ado, we’d love to have you on the team. We’ll need to talk about pay, of course.…”
My face is growing red. Shit. Shit. I need to stop this.
“Wait!” I cut off his surge of enthusiasm midstream. “No! That isn’t … I’m sorry. I should have … You don’t understand.” I rub my face awkwardly. “Sorry, this is my fault. I thought I’d said …”
“Said what?”
“It’s not for me. The job, I mean.”
“Not for you?” he says blankly. “But—”
“I’m claiming the job on behalf of someone else. A … a friend.” I clear my throat, trying to sound confident. “I’m transferring the debt.”
The light in his eyes has faded away. For a few moments he’s silent—then he says, “But I wanted to repay you, not someone else.”
“It will be repaying me! Honestly it will. I really want to do this person a favor.”
His gaze moves to the cardboard coffee-cup sleeve lying on the desk. Again I can see he’s thinking hard. “Does our agreement allow for transfer?” he says carefully.
“Why not?” I say robustly, because I anticipated he might say this. “Every other kind of debt can be passed on. There’s a market in debt, after all.”
“Maybe there is,” he says wryly. “That’s not necessarily a good thing.”
“Well, anyway. That’s … that’s what I’d like. Please.”
There’s silence. Seb’s eyes have darkened a few shades. He picks up a stapler and starts fiddling with it, as though trying to delay his decision.
“You want me to give a job to a total stranger,” he says at last.
“I’m a total stranger,” I counter. “And you were hiring me a moment ago, weren’t you?”
“You’re not a stranger! At least—” He stops himself mid-flow, as though confused by his own thoughts, and I suddenly wonder if he feels the same way I did in the coffee shop. I heard him talking on the phone and I thought, I get you. Maybe he thinks that about me.
I mean, some people are like that. You instantly relate to them. Whereas others you bash away at for years, but you’ll never understand them, not in a million years. (Uncle Ned.)
“So, who is it?” I can tell Seb’s trying to be positive and fair-minded. “Does she have any investment experience?”
“It’s not a she; it’s a he.”
“Ah.” Seb’s face changes again, in some infinitesimal way. “Well … does he?”
“No. But isn’t that the point? You said you want someone with experience of the world. Well, no one’s got more experience than Ryan! He’s started his own business, he’s battled his way through Hollywood—”
“Hollywood!” Seb sounds astonished.
“He tried to make it there as a producer, but he found it so dishonest. So slippery. He’d love to apply all his business principles to something more worthwhile—and what you do is worthwhile. I’ve seen you on YouTube,” I add. “It’s so inspiring, how you give all those company directors a hard time about their pay.”
“Well.” Seb shrugs. “It’s what I believe in.”
“And so does Ryan!” I say quickly. “He wants to make a difference to the world. Like you.”
I’m hoping I’ve said enough to persuade him, but Seb shakes his head.
“I’m afraid I’m having trouble processing this,” he says. “A Hollywood producer wants to take on a junior role at an ethical-investment firm? A low-salaried, unglamorous research role? Excuse my skepticism, but—”
“He’s not a Hollywood producer anymore,” I cut in bluntly. “He lost everything. He’s had a terrible time and he knows he needs to start again from the bottom, but he’s willing to work, to learn, to roll his sleeves up and get his hands dirty.… I mean, should he be punished because he tried and failed?” I lean forward, my voice rising passionately. “He’s so talented, he has so much to offer … but he feels washed up. Most people wouldn’t even give him a chance. But maybe you could be that person. You could change his life forever. And maybe that would be worthwhile too.”
There’s silence as Seb digests my words.
“You’re a good advocate,” he says at last. “Have you ever thought of going into law?”
“I can’t spell,” I say honestly, and Seb throws back his head in laughter.
“Well, you’ve sold me. Do I get to meet … Ryan, is it?”
“He’s waiting round the corner,” I say eagerly. “He’s got his CV with him. I’ll text him to come here, shall I?”
I send the text and there’s a slightly awkward silence. Seb says, “I’ll make some more coffee,” and gets up from his desk.
He’s gone for a while and I can hear him talking in a distant room. I don’t try to catch what he’s saying and I clamp my hands by my sides before I can straighten any more precious vases.
I’m feeling a touch jittery about Seb and Ryan meeting. I hope Ryan is open with Seb. I hope he doesn’t get defensive and try to show off in that way he does sometimes. I hope he shows the real, thoughtful Ryan. The bruised, humble Ryan who’s learned some tough lessons and wants to start again, however much work it takes. The Ryan I know.
As Seb comes back in, I jump. “He should be here any minute,” I say.
“Great.” Seb smiles, but it’s not with the warmth he had before, and there’s another awkward beat.
I’m desperately longing for Ryan to appear—and when at last he steps in through the door, my heart catches. With his blond hair and tan he looks like a movie star, and he greets Seb with a dazzling smile, lifting his hand for a high-five. When Seb doesn’t respond but extends his hand for a traditional, businesslike handshake, Ryan doesn’t flicker. He simply shakes Seb’s hand as though that’s what he meant to do all along.
“So you’re the mystery man,” he greets Seb, in that charming way he has.
“I might say the same of you,” replies Seb pleasantly. I can see he’s determined to be positive, and I feel a wave of gratitude toward him. He could have chucked me out, but here he is, giving Ryan a chance. “Fixie tells me you’re interested in our junior research role.”
“Oh, this is all down to Fixie.” Ryan laughs. “She saved your company or whatever, so I guess you owe her some serious payback.”
I wince inside and hastily chime in, “I never said that!”
“Well, I’d be glad to have a chat,” says Seb. “You’ve been working in Hollywood, I understand?”
“Hollywood.” Ryan winces. “Have you ever been there? Don’t. It’s full of two-faced, double-crossing snakes. This time a month ago I was sitting in the Chateau Marmont—you know the Chateau Marmont?”
“I don’t, I’m afraid,” says Seb politely.
I can’t help cringing. I wish Ryan wouldn’t name-drop. I mean, I understand it—he’s defensive and he can’t help compensating. But he doesn’t need to. I glance at Seb, hoping he’ll understand that Ryan’s just insecure.
“Well, it all fell into place,” says Ryan. “I understood my life, just like that.” He snaps his fingers. “I was in the wrong city, wrong country, wrong career. I had two options. Grind my way on … or cut my losses.” He spreads his arms and addresses Seb directly. “So here I am and I need to start again. Whatever it takes.”
“I see.” Seb seems to be taking this in. “And you really think ethical investment is the right area for you?”
There’s silence. Ryan’s blue eyes are flickering to Seb and to me and around the office as though he’s weighing up what to say.
“Look,” he says finally. “I don’t know. I don’t know all the answers. I thought film producing was for me. I was wrong. All I can say is, if you can give me a chance, if you can help me back on that ladder … then I’ll pay you back, I’ll work my ass off, and I’ll appreciate it forever.”
He sounds so passionate, so humble, that I want to cheer. This is the Ryan I love—the honest, heartfelt Ryan who’s had some knocks but won’t give up.
Sebastian’s face has softened during Ryan’s speech. Now he looks as though he has real sympathy for him.
“Knock-backs happen to everyone,” he says. “And I should imagine Hollywood isn’t the most straightforward place. Good for you, for wanting to start again. I mean, there’ll be a lot for you to learn.…”
“I’m happy to learn,” says Ryan emphatically. “I want to learn. And you know what? Maybe some of what I picked up in the film world can help you too.”