“That doesn’t sound like you have much of a choice,” I said with a frown. “What am I supposed to do with you? Do I need to look after you or something? Is there a manual for this stuff?”
Torran’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he fought to keep a straight face. “I’m not a pet. I can look after myself. There’s no manual because you don’t need to do anything. I am here to look after you.” He leaned back in his chair. I thought it was meant to make him look nonthreatening, but it emphasized the breadth of his shoulders and the hard planes of his chest.
“Were we ever really friends, or was all of this”—I waved at his relaxed pose—“designed to get me to lower my guard?”
He sat forward, searing honesty on his face. “It was not a trick. I had intended to keep my distance, to stay cold and aloof, but you weren’t the person I expected. You were kind and caring even when it was more work. You snuck past my guard and were impossible to resist. Your friendship means a great deal to me, and I am sorry that I made you feel otherwise.”
I believed him, if only because he’d snuck under my guard, too—in more ways than one. “Why did you kiss me, really?” The question popped out without thought.
Torran’s mouth tipped into a slow, melting smile that matched the heat in his eyes. “I wanted to.” His eyes dropped to my mouth. “Shall I demonstrate again?”
I shifted in my seat as the ever-present chemistry between us burned brighter. “No,” I said, my voice unsteady. “Not while you’re bound to me with a life debt.”
He rose and stalked around the table. Sheer instinct forced me to my feet, but I was torn between standing my ground and fleeing like a scared rabbit. Staying won, but only because my feet felt glued to the floor.
Torran stepped so close that our chests brushed, and I had to tip my head back to hold his gaze. Desire thundered through my veins, driven by my pounding heart and the stark hunger carved into his face. He leaned down, and my eyes dropped half closed. But rather than kissing me, he brushed his cheek against mine in a barely there caress.
“My choices remain my own,” he whispered into my ear, his voice dark with promise.
He could read a dictionary to me, and as long as he used that tone, I’d never ask him to stop.
My hands flexed at my sides as I forced myself to resist the temptation of his body. The last two days had been a whirlwind of wild emotions. We’d barely started back on the path to trust. No matter how much I wanted him—and desire pulsed with every beat of my heart—a physical relationship was the worst possible idea.
Even if my body vehemently disagreed.
“Why did you say you can’t go to bed with me?” After I’d gotten over the hurt of the rejection, I’d wondered at the slightly odd wording.
“There were too many things unresolved between us. Too many secrets. It would’ve been a betrayal, even if you didn’t know about it.” The searing heat of his expression weakened my knees and made my body throb. “But that is no longer an issue,” he growled. “Ask me again.”
Backing away from him felt like losing a limb, but the second step was easier. “Not while you’re bound,” I repeated. I glanced up at him from under my lashes. “But if you’d like to renounce your debt . . .”
“Clever,” he murmured, “but you’ll have to try harder than that to get rid of me.”
I couldn’t hide my grin. “It was worth a shot.”
I shook my arms as if I could shake off the desire simmering in my blood. I gathered up our dishes and headed for the sanitizer. I hadn’t found it the first day because it looked nothing like I’d expected, but it cleaned the dishes and that’s what mattered.
Torran followed me.
“What are you doing?” I asked once I was done with the dishes. When he didn’t answer, I asked, “Is this part of the debt?”
“I’m ensuring your safety,” he said. The tone was light, but his expression was deadly serious.
“Is there some reason you think I’m not safe in your house?” He shook his head, so I waved my hands at him. “Shoo. Go bother someone else.”
He didn’t move, but one side of his mouth curled up into a delicious grin.
“I order you to go away,” I tried.
Instead of leaving, he stalked closer. “I’ll remind you once again,” he murmured, “that I don’t have to follow your orders.”
“You may not have to,” I said, secretly relieved that orders didn’t actually work, “but you’d better consider doing it anyway or you are not going to appreciate where I put my boot in relation to your posterior.”
He chuckled as the threat bounced off him without making the slightest impact.
I sighed. “If you’re going to tail me anyway, we might as well go see what my team thinks about leaving tonight.”
I had a pretty good idea how they would vote, but I wanted to discuss the decision. And the comm had been unusually silent since Torran’s little stunt, so I needed to head off any rumors before they got started.
“After you,” Torran said, sweeping his hand toward the war room.
I rolled my eyes, but I led him out of the kitchen.
After an hour of discussing it, my team decided to stay. Lexi and Eli voted to leave today while Anja, Kee, and I voted to stay for another week to try to find Cien.
Lexi and Eli were the most pragmatic members of the group. It wasn’t that they hated kids, it was more that they had weighed the risks and decided to protect the ones they loved. But once they were outvoted, they threw themselves back into the search without a single grumble of complaint.
Much to my relief, Torran did eventually leave me on my own. But as soon as he’d cleared the door, Kee spun her chair around to face me. “Spill.”
“About what?” I tried.
Kee just tilted her head and gave me an unamused look.
“Torran vowed a life debt to me.”
Kee waved at the other Valoffs still in the room, all of whom were eavesdropping and not even being subtle about it. “They explained that part. Why did he do it?”
“I told him that his promises were putting my team in danger and that I was tired of it. Apparently, a life debt was his solution.”
Kee sighed, and I knew that sigh. I shook a finger at her. “It wasn’t romantic. It was scary and traumatizing, and he won’t take it back, so now we’re bound together until he decides the debt is repaid.”
“It’s a little romantic,” Anja said from my other side.
I spun to face her and caught Eli nodding behind her. I pointed at him. “Not you, too. You punched him in the jaw.”
Eli lifted one shoulder. “He deserved it, but now he seems like he’s making up for it.”
I tossed up my hands. “Traitors, every one of you.”
“A life debt is an extraordinary step,” Chira said quietly. “It was not something he did at the spur of the moment, no matter what you said to him. I’m sure he had been considering it since our meeting with the empress.”