He Who Fights with Monsters 5: A LitRPG Adventure

Ian and Erika watched out the window as Jason pulled his absurd black sports car into the driveway.

“That’s his car?” Ian asked as the gull wing door on the driver’s side opened vertically and Jason stepped out.

“He’s too young for a mid-life crisis,” Erika said.

“How much do you think it cost?”

“No idea.”

“And he’s a private security contractor?” Ian asked. “I guess shooting brown people for Americans is lucrative. It seems weird. Jason was always so progressive.”

“He was also poor,” Erika said. “I love the boy, but he was always better at holding ideals than living up to them.”

They met Jason at the door and let him in.

“How did you afford that car?” Erika asked without preamble.

“Shooting brown people for Americans,” he said, stepping into the foyer. “Don’t you remember how poor I used to be?”

Erika and Ian shared a surprised glace as they went inside. They made their way into the kitchen, where Ian started brewing some tea.

“You’re on time,” Erika said to Jason.

“You don’t have to sound surprised.”

“I kind of do.”

“Emi isn’t home yet,” Ian told him.

“I know,” Jason said.

“Oh, you do, do you?” Erika asked. “How is that, exactly?”

“Mysteriously,” Jason said. “I’m very mysterious now.”

“Is that so?”

“You think I’m not?”

“I think you should tell us what you were up to all this time,” Erika said. “You have no idea what I went through when I thought you died. People were clearly lying and there was some kind of crazy conspiracy theory cover-up. I thought I was going nuts.”

“She was getting a little erratic,” Ian agreed.

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore,” Jason said. “Now that I’m back, I won’t let anyone treat you that way.”

“I don’t want your protection, Jason,” Erika said. “I want to know what’s going on so I can protect my family for myself.”

“You will,” Jason said. “Consider this a warning, though; once I tell you, there’s no going back.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that when I tell you everything, everything changes. It will upend your most fundamental understandings of the world you live in.”

Erika narrowed her eyes at Jason. “Did you join a cult?”

“Of course not.”

“Are you sure?”

“I didn’t join a cult, Erika.”

“You’re talking a bit like someone who joined a cult,” Ian said. “It would make sense that you were gone for so long. Cults like to isolate people from their support networks while the indoctrination takes place.”

“I did not join a cult,” Jason insisted.

“So, you’re still an atheist, then?” Erika asked.

“Not… as such,” Jason admitted.

“You joined a cult,” Erika said.

“I didn’t join a cult!”

“It really sounds like you joined a cult,” Ian said.

“I did not join a cult. I’m not an atheist because I met a…”

Jason cut himself off, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Look, set aside a day,” he said. “Make sure Emi is taken care of and you have no other commitments. I’ll tell you everything. It’ll take some time to go through it and even more to process it. I’m not kidding, Erika. This will change your life.”

“Are you going to explain why you were talking about that starlight person on the news?” Erika asked.

“Yes,” Jason said. “I’ll explain it all. Answer every question.”

“Will your cultist friends be there?”

Jason buried his head in his hands.

“I should have thrown away that stupid token,” he complained.





Erika and Ian watched through the window as Emi was dropped off by her friend’s mother. She eyed the black car in the driveway, walking all the way around it before making her way up to the door.

“Whose car is that?” she asked her parents.

“We have something to talk to you about,” Ian told her, and the family made their way into the lounge. They sat on the couch, Emi in the middle with a parent on either side.

“You two are acting weird,” Emi said. “This is how you told me about Uncle Jason. Did someone die?”

“No,” Ian said with a chuckle. “Nothing like that.”

“Actually, it’s kind of the opposite,” Erika said.

“Someone came back to life?” Emi asked.

“Still sharp as a tack,” Jason said, appearing in the lounge room doorway. Emi went dead still, staring at him for several seconds. Then she burst forward like she was fired from a rocket, Jason crouching to catch her in a huge hug.

“Hey, Moppet,” he said, tousling her hair.

It was a long time before she let him go. Finally, she stepped back to critically look him over, while holding both of his hands in hers.

“You look different,” she said.

“I am different.”

“Did you get some work done?” she asked, letting go of a hand to experimentally poke his chin.

“I did not have any work done,” came his indignant answer.

“Must be an optical illusion with the beard,” she said. “Where did the scars come from?”

“I did some things that certain people didn’t like,” Jason said. “They did some things that I didn’t like.”

“They hurt you?”

“Yes.”

“Did you hurt them back?”

“They got caught and punished by the local authorities,” Jason said.

“Is that your car outside?”

“Would you like a ride? If your parents say it’s alright.”

Emi turned to look at her parents, who glanced at each other before nodding.

“Not too long,” Erika said. “Back in time for dinner.”





29





ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH IF YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH IT





Jason led the uncharacteristically docile child outside and they got into his car. She goggled at the gull wing doors and sleek interior. She was even more startled when the car took off without Jason touching the steering wheel. For a long while, they drove in silence, Emi watching Jason contemplatively. She kept one of his hands in a tight grip.

“Why did you go away without telling us?” she asked finally.

“I didn’t get to choose that,” he said.

“Like you were kidnapped?”

“Not exactly, but kind of.”

“By the people who did that to your face?”

“No,” he said. “That was someone else.”

“Where were you?”

“Africa.”

“Someone kidnapped you and took you to Africa?”

“Something like that.”

“And you couldn’t contact us in all that time?”

“No.”

“I’m twelve, not an idiot. You expect me to believe that?”

“You will,” he said. “Once you hear the whole story.”

She lapsed into silence again and it was a little while before she spoke. When she did, her voice was almost a whisper.

“Why did you let me think you were dead?”

He looked at her face as she wiped moisture from her eyes with the back of her hand.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he said. “If I had the choice, I would never let that happen.”

“Mum went through a conspiracy theory phase,” Emi said. “It looks like she wasn’t so crazy after all.”

“I heard about that.”

“Uncle Jason, what aren’t you telling me?”

“Lots of things,” Jason said. “I have a lot to show you.”

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