He Who Fights with Monsters 5: A LitRPG Adventure

“And people say I’m weird,” Jason said.

“You came back from the dead claiming to be a knife mercenary,” Erika exclaimed. “Knife mercenaries and coming back from the dead aren’t things that happen.”

“Yeah,” Jason said awkwardly. “This is going to be an interesting week for you.”

“Do you have somewhere to stay?” Erika asked. “Your old room is a guest room now. Emi had Kaito’s old room, because it’s the biggest.”

“I have a houseboat at the marina.”

“You’re living on a houseboat?” she asked. “Like the Highlander? TV show Highlander, obviously.”

“That was never a good TV show,” Jason said.

“Let’s be honest; it was never a great movie,” Erika said.

“I liked that movie,” Ian said.

“Me too,” Jason agreed.

“It was a good idea with a middling execution at best. Search your feelings, boys; you know it to be true. That movie coasted on the soundtrack.”

“Oh, hell yes,” Jason said. “I haven’t heard a Queen song in a year and a half.”





27





A BIG DOSE OF NORMAL





Jason returned to Erika’s house in the crisp air of the winter Saturday morning. After giving his sister a night to process his sudden return, he was expecting a thorough grilling. He wanted to bring her into the fold as quickly as he could but knew that dumping everything at once was a recipe for disaster. He didn’t want her making any mistakes because of something Jason communicated poorly.

Erika had arranged for their parents to come over to let them know about Jason’s return, with Kaito and Amy scheduled to arrive after. Jason, Ian and Erika were waiting in the lounge room, in Erika’s plush chairs. They weren’t cloud furniture, but they were the next best thing. Erika’s phone bleeped and she checked the text.

“Oh, bloody hell.”

“Mum?” Jason asked.

“She’s too busy, apparently,” Erika said. “She told me that she’d be here. I told her it was important.”

“Are you really surprised?”

“It would be nice if she actually did surprise me for once and didn’t blow me off,” Erika said.

“You should have had Kaito set it up,” Jason said. “She’d turn up for that.”

“You’re right. I didn’t think of that.”

“We’ll stick with the plan. Dad should be here soon, with Uncle Hiro. Then we can bring Kaito and Amy over.”

“Are you sure you’re all right to see them?” Erika asked. “It’s been a lot longer than just since you died. Went away. Oh, carp. I still haven’t got my head around this.”

“When I was so far away that I didn’t have the choice,” Jason said, “it put a lot of things into perspective. Mum wasn’t wrong that the best thing to do was just accept it, but she really needed to wait a year before giving it. Maybe two. You know she’s the one who actually told me about it?”

“You’re kidding,” Erika said.

“Nope,” Jason said. “Mum always liked Amy, but she was with the wrong brother. It kind of felt like she was calling to say that I was never good enough and now she had proof.”

“I’m starting to see why you rushed back and hit town like a thunderstorm,” Erika said.

“It took me years to move past what happened,” Jason said. “I don’t have to tell you that. You were propping me up the whole time.”

“Are you sure that you have moved past it?”

“Nope,” Jason admitted. “But at this point, staying away hurts more than coming back.”

“So, what do we do about Mum?”

“She’s a busy woman, obviously,” Jason said. “She’ll figure it out eventually.”

“You’re just going to not tell her?”

“Why don’t we tell Kaito that she already knows and let nature take its course?” Jason suggested.

“Isn’t that a little cruel?” Erika asked. “Wait a second. Kaito said he kept seeing you the other day.”

“That was fun,” Jason chuckled. “I shaved for that.”

“He thought he was going crazy.”

“That was the basic plan,” Jason said.

“Did you turn his helicopter into the Thanos copter?”

Jason laughed. “Did you have to explain it to him?”

“His wife did.”

Jason smirked.

“Jason, if you just came home for some petty revenge, you may as well have not come.”

“Of course I didn’t. Petty revenge is just a perk.”

“You did do a pretty good job with the helicopter,” she acknowledged.

“It’s the off season,” Jason said. “It’s not like he’s using it right now and it’s not even proper paint. It’s water soluble and will practically just hose off.”





“So, what’s the big mystery?” Ken asked as he came inside and hugged his daughter. “Hiro was so adamant about me coming along that I thought he was roping me into smoothing things over with your grandmother for him. I told him he was better off asking your Uncle Shiro.”

“No, this is more than that,” Erika said, leading him into the lounge.

“So, what’s is going on?”

“Hello, Dad.”

Ken went dead still on hearing Jason’s voice behind him. Slowly, he turned around, as if fearful of what he would see. His breathing became ragged when he saw Jason standing in the doorway. After a moment of shocked stillness, Ken exploded forward to catch his son in a huge hug. Jason caught the familiar smell of Old Spice and soil as he returned the hug.

“Is it really you, boy?” Ken asked, not releasing Jason.

“It’s me,” Jason said.

Ken continued to hold on to Jason like he would never let go.





Things with Jason’s father went very differently than with Erika. She had launched into an interrogation almost immediately, while Ken only wanted to know two things: was Jason alright and was he back to stay. He couldn’t stop grinning as his teary eyes drank in the son that had been returned to him.

“I’m not looking to disappear any time soon,” Jason assured him. “Not like last time. Things are kind of up in the air right now, professionally, but I’m looking to base myself out of Casselton Beach for at least the near future.”

“Professionally?” Erika asked. “You know, I’ve been going over what you told me yesterday and the more I think about it, the more it comes off as a pile of hot nonsense.”

“How much did you tell her?” Hiro asked.

“About what I told you, at first.”

“None of the really implausible stuff, then,” Hiro said.

“That’s not the implausible stuff?” Erika asked, her voice rising an octave.

She turned to Jason and saw that he was looking suddenly nervous.

“They’re here,” he said.

Shortly thereafter, there was a knock on the door, followed by the sound of it opening.

“G’day,” Kaito’s voice called out. “We’re arrived for the mysterious family meeting.”

“Lounge room,” Erika called back, glancing at Jason only to realise that he’d vanished like a ghost.

“Do you know who that car outside belongs to?” Amy asked as they came in. “It looks like the Batmobile.”

“Hey, Dad,” Kaito greeted. “Are you alright?”

“Better than alright,” Ken said. “Who has the girls?”

“Mrs Glenn.”

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