He Who Fights with Monsters 5: A LitRPG Adventure

“We would like to work with you, obviously,” Anna said. “You have a demonstrated penchant for public chaos that troubles us, though.”

“That’s fair,” Jason said. “But since you have a demonstrated penchant for kidnapping me, I wouldn’t go claiming the moral high ground.”

“That was the Lyon branch.”

“And why should I think you will act any different than the people who sent that French prick to kick my arse?”

“You kicked back pretty hard. If we didn’t have a category-three healer, he would have died.”

“You’ve got a silver-rank healer? Nice.”

“She’s more subtle than roaming the halls of a hospital playing faith healer,” Anna said.

“She does help regular people, then?”

“Of course. What’s the point of having healing magic if you can’t help the people that need it most? We run a private clinic that allows us to find and help needy people without the news talking about angels made of stars. We can quietly find patients and clean up any troublesome hospital records. Do you realise how much what you did has hurt the operation of the children’s hospital? There are investigations, oversight, the media debacle. Yes, you helped some people that really needed it, but you hurt people too. Do you have any grasp of consequences?”

“That’s… traditionally been a weak area for me,” Jason acknowledged. “I like the idea of that clinic you mentioned. I’d like to get in on that, if we end up working together.”

“That’s one of the things you have to offer,” Anna said. “What is it that you want from us?”

“If you’re not smart enough to figure that out, I don’t want to work with you,” Jason said.

“The Lyon branch,” Anna said. “We’re pretty sure they have an outworlder. You want that outworlder.”

“Bang on,” Jason said. “I’m not what you’d call happy with the Network right now.”

“We’re not over the moon with you either,” she said. “Killing people on the news. Playing angel at a children’s hospital.”

“The latter was to draw you out so I could investigate you,” Jason said. “As for the bikers, I did go overboard there.”

“Overboard? Six innocent bystanders were killed and we still don’t know how many were injured.”

Jason paled, bowing his head.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I really am. I didn’t think when they attacked. I just fought. I’m not used to worrying about collateral damage.”

“It’s why we have rules.”

Jason nodded.

“I’m not going to work for your organisation,” he said, “but I will work with it, if we can hammer out an arrangement. Including rules. I think that some boundaries might be good for me right now.”

“Then we need to have a conversation somewhere other than my kitchen,” Anna said. “While I’m wearing clothes.”

“Do you sleep in a bra?” Jason asked. “That can’t be comfortable.”

“I just kind of crashed out,” Anna said defensively. “Someone’s antics didn’t leave me time to sleep for two days. Finally, I get to bed, and you pop up in my damn kitchen.”

“Well, I woke up in the trunk of a car with veins full of poison, so I guess that neither of us is getting any rest tonight.”

He plucked a fistful of spirit coins from his inventory and slapped them onto the kitchen counter. “By way of apology,” he said. “For disturbing you at home.”

“So, what now?” she asked.

“Now I’m taking my uncle and getting out of Sydney for a while. If your people come after me, I know that a deal is off the table and we go to war. If not, we can work something out.”

“War?”

“If the Network is going to keep coming after me,” Jason said, “I’m not just going to sit back and wait.”

“You lost to one category three. You can’t take us all on.”

“I don’t need to fight you to beat you,” Jason said. “I just need a press conference. If I go public, you’ll have bigger problems than me to deal with. Also, I can start flogging Starlight Rider merch. That’s a whole thing.”

“I can talk cooperation,” Anna said. “I have people that I answer to, though. They don’t like uncontrolled factors, and you’re an uncontrolled factor in an absurd shirt.”

“Hey, I fought cannibals to get this shirt. I’ll admit I do have a way of frustrating authority figures, but they frustrate me, so I’m not what you’d call sorry. I do recognise that my personal proclivities can make me difficult to work with. Talk to your people and ask what they’d like to see as a gesture of good faith. I’ll see what I can do.”

“You’ll want a similar gesture from us too, right?”

“Of course. I want everything you know about this outworlder in France.”

“What do you know already?”

“Nothing,” Jason said. “All I know is that when I came back, someone hitched a ride. I don’t know who or why we didn’t arrive together. I learned where tonight.”

“We don’t know anything ourselves,” Anna said. “We’re working on that. I’m pressing Sebastian and my boss is pressing his boss. They haven’t even admitted to having an outworlder yet. In the meantime, how do I contact you?”

“I left my phone number on the whiteboard on your fridge. I also added some things to your shopping list. Get your kitchen in order, lady. Your pasta sauce selection is a travesty. Buy some damn tomatoes.”

“Your sister’s a TV chef, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

“Does she know you’re back?”

“I wanted to get things settled before I came back from the dead. I don’t want to bring my mess down on my family.”

“Yet here you are in my home.”

“Just a reminder that I’m not the only one with family.”

“I think everyone will be happier if our interactions are civil,” Anna said. “There’s been far too much action going on. What do you think of Craig Vermillion as a neutral go-between for the moment?”

“You’ll use Cabal personnel?”

“They owe us big, and they know it.”

“I can work with that,” Jason agreed. “I’m going to operate under the assumption that I can walk down the street without the Network trying to drag me into a van. But don’t think that I’ll keep letting your people come after me without reprisal.”

“And don’t think that we’ll just let you keep running rampant.”

“We understand each other, then. I’m going to let you get back to bed now. Stay in touch.”

He closed the fridge, which was the only source of light. Anna found the light switch in the dark, but he was gone by the time she flipped it. Her supernatural senses hadn’t been able to track him when he was standing in front of her, let alone when he vanished in the dark.

“Go to bed, right,” she muttered.

Flicking the light back off, she trudged back upstairs, not for her bed but for her phone.

“I should have shot him.”





In Hiro’s apartment, Hiro clasped Jason in a hug.

“We heard some kind of explosion outside and saw those men pile you into their car from the balcony. I didn’t know what to do, so I contacted Vermillion. He said to hold tight.”

“Sorry to worry you, Uncle. I’m fine.”

“That’s good,” Taika said. “You’re our guide to all the crazy stuff that’s happening.”

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