He Who Fights with Monsters 5: A LitRPG Adventure

“Are you a celestine in disguise?” Jason asked.

“I am,” Dawn said. “Permission to come aboard?”

“Give me a moment,” Jason said. “I need to deal with something.”

“Perhaps you shouldn’t portal your sister home,” Dawn said. “I think you should let her know the stakes you’re playing for.”





68





WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO





“Well,” Jason said, sitting around a table with three women. “This is complicated.”

“I may be getting used to being the most ignorant person in the room,” Erika said, “but that doesn’t mean that I like it.”

“How drunk are you?” Jason asked Farrah.

“I’m fine,” Farrah said, moving her head like she was trying to balance it on her neck.

“Me too,” Jason said. “I mean, yes, I wore a suppression collar to turn off my poison resistance, but I only drank that one bottle.”

“That’s two bottles,” Farrah said.

“Really? I thought I was seeing double.”

“Are you seeing two of anything else?” Farrah asked.

“No, but I think I might be bad at counting. Do you want me to sober you up? I have magic powers, you know.”

“No! There’s hardly any bronze-rank booze left.”

“You shouldn’t pay any attention to these two,” Erika confided loudly to Dawn. “They’ve been drinking.”

“I think we should start by you telling us exactly who you are and why you’re here,” Jason said to Dawn. “Eri, we can catch you up on context later. Spoiler: she’s an alien.”

Dawn looked at Jason from under raised eyebrows.

“You’re weird,” Jason said. “Your aura is normal, but there’s nothing in it. It’s like trying to eat a very realistic wax fruit, but that’s okay. I’m playing up being drunk so you underestimate me. I’m very clever.”

“You’re doing a really good job,” Farrah assured him.

“Thanks! So, who are you, lady?”

“What if I called myself a prophet?” Dawn asked.

“I could call myself Barry Van Dyke,” Jason said. “That doesn’t mean I replaced Jan Michael Vincent in the lead for the fourth series of Airwolf.”

“Really?” Erika asked. “You’re bringing up Airwolf?”

“Eri was not happy with the fourth season,” Jason confided.

“All the flight shots were reused footage,” Erika decried. “Why?”

“Eri, we’ve been over this. It was broadcast television in the eighties. They wanted enough episodes for a syndication deal on the cheap.”

“What about Caitlin, Jason? They blew up Ernest Borgnine’s body double, but what happened to Caitlin?”

“I told you: it was broadcast television in the eighties. They didn’t care about the female characters.”

“Am I meant to be following any of this?” Dawn asked.

“No, just ride it out,” Farrah advised. “Do you watch television?”

“No,” Dawn said.

“I’ve seen some Tina Turner concert recordings, but otherwise, I don’t see the appeal,” Farrah said. “Oh, they’ve jumped to Knight Rider; that usually means they’re winding down.”

“They brought Bonnie back,” Jason said.

“She never should have left,” Erika said.

“I’m not arguing that she should have,” Jason said. “I don’t hear you complaining about April, though.”

“April can bugger off.”

“She did. You realise that she was an early female character who excelled in STEM fields,” Jason argued.

“So was Bonnie! Who they had her replace because Bonnie wasn't blonde!”

“They brought her back,” Jason said. “The Hoff and Edward Mulhare were all ‘bring back that lady,’ and they did. Eddie Mulhare was a sexy-arse ghost.”

“He was a sexy-arse ghost,” Erika agreed.

Farrah interjected to try and bring things to a close.

“Maybe we should stop talking about… whatever this is, and talk to the weird magic woman instead.”

“Fine,” Erika complained, turning to Dawn. “So, what’s your deal? And no mysterious prophetess nonsense.”

“Agreed,” Jason said. “If you’re here to play enigmatic guide leading us forward through vague clues, you can get on your bike and trundle off.”

Dawn was taken slightly aback by the suddenly hostile brother-sister duo.

“You’ve already surmised who sent me,” Dawn said.

“Yep,” Jason said. “I’ve also surmised that your boss wants something.”

“It wants you to save the world.”

“From what?” Jason asked. “If the EOA’s built a weather machine, I’m one-hundred percent in.”

“I’m afraid it’s more drastic than that,” Dawn said. “A magical link has been forged between this world and Pallimustus.”

“I’m just going to jump in real quick,” Erika said. “Who exactly is this boss and what is Pallimustus?”

“She works for the World-Phoenix, who is basically an interdimensional super god,” Jason said. “Pallimustus is the name of Farrah’s world.”

“Super god?” Erika asked.

“Yep,” Jason said. “Regular gods are more along the lines of your Zeus, Thor, Brian Dennehy, etc.”

“I don’t think Brian Dennehy was a god,” Erika said.

“Who am I thinking of then?” Jason asked.

“Bacchus?” Erika suggested.

“He did look like a man who enjoyed the odd sandwich,” Jason said, then turned to Dawn. “Actually, since you’re here, do you know if there are any local gods?”

“There isn’t enough magic yet,” Dawn said.

“Yet?” Farrah repeated.

“The link between worlds,” Dawn said. “It’s been siphoning off magic from Pallimustus to this world for centuries. It was slow, at first, but the rate of transfer has been rapidly escalating over the last century and a half.”

“The proto-spaces,” Jason said. “That’s where they’re coming from.”

“Yes,” Dawn said. “Each proto-space that breaks down without the anchor creatures being destroyed deposits its magic into your world. Individually, that has little effect, but after centuries, the magical density of your world has started to rise. This strengthens the link, which feeds the loop. More spaces appear, collapse, and dump even more magic into the environment at an ever-increasing pace.”

“Someone knew this was coming,” Jason said. “There were outworlders who built the grid and established the Network in preparation to stop it.”

“That is my understanding,” Dawn said. “However, whoever these Network founders were failed to prepare a response to proto-spaces appearing deep in the oceans. The proto-spaces that open there go undetected and deliver magic into your world.”

“Most of which is covered in water,” Jason said. “Meaning that the Network’s mission of containment was completely stuffed from the start.”

“Yes,” Dawn said. “What they have accomplished is to slow the rate at which your world’s magical density has risen. For now, it remains low, but is approaching a dangerous threshold.”

“The proto-spaces,” Jason said, eyes going wide. With the information Dawn had provided, his study of astral magic allowed him to connect the dots to form a terrible revelation.

“What is it?” Farrah asked him.

“I just realised what happens once the magical density crosses the minimum threshold for iron rank,” Jason said.

It was Farrah's turn to be startled.

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