He Who Fights with Monsters 5: A LitRPG Adventure

“You can feel the difference,” Asya said. “From before and after he did whatever it was to get access to that astral space. He didn’t hesitate for a second. Did you and Jason really never…?”

“Why do people keep asking that? Do you not have friends in this world? There’s no one I’d rather have beside me when the world burns down, but he isn’t even close to my type. I mean, Jason’s great, but he’s also a lot.”

“Some of us want a lot.”

“Then why are you standing in the car park talking to me? He’s over there on the appropriately ostentatious houseboat.”

As they were about to head off down the dock, a car pulled up beside them and Jason’s old friend Greg stepped out. He was visibly nervous at the sight of the two startlingly attractive women.

“Hello, Greg,” Asya said. “It’s been a while.”

“Asya,” Greg greeted uncertainly. “Miss Hurin.”

Greg had gone to school with Asya and Jason. Farrah, he met only briefly, although he had driven past her and Jason on their insane runs to Castle Bluff. He fished a large, squared-off bag from the back seat of his car.

“I, uh, didn’t realise you’d be here,” Greg said to Asya.

“Jason said you were bringing some board games for us to play,” Asya said.

Somewhere inside of Greg, his fifteen-year-old self let out a whimper.

“Yep,” he said, his voice oddly high.

Craig Vermillion pulled up on the other side of Greg, also getting out of his car. Greg looked from Asya’s 1962 MGA Roadster to Craig’s 1967 Maserati Ghibli, then at his 2017 Ford Taurus.

“I’m the boring one, aren’t I?” he asked. “This is high school all over again.”

Asya gave him a smile. “Come, on, Greg. If all your friends are cool, what does that say about you?”

“That they need a designated driver.”

They made their way along the dock to the houseboat. As Greg was still in the dark, magic-wise, the houseboat's interior was disguised. Jason had turned the bar lounge into a bar and game room, with two large game tables. The tops that had been removed to reveal sunken, felt-lined interiors. Another table was covered in snack trays.

Jason and Taika were waiting when they arrived. Jason mixed cocktails behind the bar as Taika clipped cup holders onto the sides of the tables.

“Your houseboat comes with a dedicated board game room?” Greg asked.

“It’s kind of modular,” Jason said. “At this point, it pretty much comes with everything.”

“This houseboat is crazy.”

“He has a whole other superyacht he has moored at Castle Reach,” Asya said.

The EOA, as it turned out, took Jason at his word when he told them he was taking the yacht he had commandeered following the plane attack. As part of a scramble to avoid retaliation for their participation in Farrah's incarceration, they had signed it over and sailed it to the east coast of Australia. Not knowing what to do with it, Jason left it at the Castle Reach marina. There he didn’t have to rent a second slip for the huge vessel, the way he did with the houseboat at Casselton Beach. Giant yachts were much more the norm there.

“Jason,” Greg said, “not to put too fine a point on it, but are you a drug dealer?”

“No, although funny story: you remember how we used to play El Grande all the time back in school?”

“Sure,” Greg said.

“Well,” Jason said, “not long after I got back, I was selling some gold to these Armenian mobsters and they had El Grande set up. Proper game table and everything; I thought of you immediately. Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Armenian mobsters?”

“Yeah, bro,” Taika said. “I was there for that. All these hardcore-looking blokes hanging about, looking like they’re going to break your legs. Then you spot the board game and realise that we're not all so different after all. It was kind of heart-warming.”

“Selling gold?” Greg asked, still looking at Jason like he was an alien.

“I did some work out of town while everyone thought I was dead. That’s where I met Farrah, actually. Anyway, I came back with a bunch of gold bars I picked up in the Kalahari—not really meant to talk about that—and I needed some walking-around money. You know my uncle Hiro was always a bit shady, and he hooked me up.”

“This all sounds completely ridiculous.”

“You’ve got no idea, mate,” Jason said. “I can’t even begin to tell you the big stuff. Can I?”

“No,” Asya said firmly. “Like I told you when you wanted to tell the butcher: you made a confidentiality agreement.”

“But the anecdote doesn’t really work unless—”

“Then the answer is to not tell the anecdote,” she said.

Greg took the games out of his bag, one of them catching Jason’s eye.

“That one’s about hunting a vampire, right?”

“Yeah,” Greg said. “It’s an all-versus-one game.”

“That’s a bit insensitive,” Jason said, glancing at Craig.

“Why?”

“Uh, no reason,” Jason said, Asya glaring at him again.

Shortly thereafter, Ian, Erika and Emi came aboard, Emi moving straight to Jason.

“Virgin pi?a colada,” Jason said, handing her a readied drink. “At least, I think that’s the virgin one. If not, don’t tell your mum.”

“Stop corrupting my daughter,” Erika scolded. “Greg, it’s great to see you. I meant to tell you how amazing that costume was that you wore to my fancy dress party.”

“Thanks,” Greg said. “I was worried an elaborate Iron Man costume might make people think I was lonely enough to have time to make it.”

“No,” Erika said with a straight face. “Nobody thought that.”





67





DECISION





As everyone packed up to go home, Greg found Jason in the kitchen.

“This was really great,” Greg told Jason. “Most of our old friends left for university and never came back, and I’ve never been great at making new ones. There was Amy, but after what she did, forget that.”

“You came back so you could inherit your dad’s law firm, right?”

“Yeah, but that's not working out. David's big-city career didn't work out, so he's back. Dad hasn't exactly said it, but he was always the favourite, so…”

Jason groaned. “I’m not a big Bible guy, as you know,” he said. “I’m starting to come around on the idea of killing all the firstborn sons, though. Also, your dad sucks. Is your mum still super-hot?”

“Dude, that’s not cool.”

“I’m just saying, your mum is super-hot.”

“How would you feel if I went and hit on Farrah?”

“Mate, if you’ve got the courage, then go for it.”

“I do not. She’s super cute, though. Is she an athlete or something?”

“Private security contractor.”

“Like a mercenary?”

“Yeah. She was one of the people that trained me.”

“Wait, that’s the mysterious job?”

“It’s complicated, but sort of.”

“I do like your friends,” Greg said. “They’re a little weird, but cool weird, you know. You’ve always been good with people like that. Are we going to do a night like this again?”

“Yeah,” Jason said. “I can’t guarantee a regular schedule, but I’d like that a lot. My life is aching for some normalcy.”

“Well, mine is aching for some weirdness.”

“I can probably arrange something like that.”



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