He Who Fights with Monsters 5: A LitRPG Adventure

“You use the special powers you got in an alternate reality to protect people from danger while wearing an elaborate costume that hides your identity,” Emi said.

“She’s got you there,” Ian said. “You even have a superhero name. You know they’re still trying to figure out who the Starlight Rider is.”

“That’s not a good hero name,” Jason complained. “It sounds like a B-story hero that got cancelled in the seventies once the publisher realised it was a gay allegory.”

“Are we still going to have those people follow us around?” Emi asked.

“I’m not sure yet,” Jason said. “While I’m here, I’m all the security you need. I’ll probably be taking some trips, though, so we’ll see. I was planning to sort a lot of that out this afternoon, but someone set up an impromptu family reunion. I have things to do today.”

“Yes,” Erika said. “You do.”





Kaito and Amy pulled into the marina behind a woman with long, dark hair in a classic convertible.

“Is that Asya Karadeniz?” Amy asked.

“Yep,” Kaito said. They pulled up just along from Asya as she was getting out of her car. She had a briefcase and an expensive, flattering pantsuit.

“Hello, Asya,” Kaito said, getting out of the car. “You’re looking good.”

“Oh, hello, Kai, Ames,” she greeted them, her eyes walking up and down Amy’s outfit as a small smile crept onto her mouth. “It’s been since the memorial, right?”

“Yeah,” Kaito said.

“Why are you here?” Amy asked.

“Work stuff,” she said. “I didn’t realise you’d be here when Jason asked me to come. Besides, I never properly thanked him for saving my life the other day.”

“Wait, what?” Kaito asked.

“Sorry, that’s all classified, but maybe he’ll tell you if you ask. Or maybe he won’t; I don’t know if he still tells you everything like he used to. I only heard what happened between you third-hand, although your marriage itself speaks volumes. Funny how things work out, isn’t it? You even asked me out a few times, didn’t you, Kai? I’m going to go ahead, so I’ll see you aboard.”

They watched her set off down the dock.

“You asked her out?” Amy asked.

“What do you think she meant by Jason saving her life?” Kaito asked.

“Multiple times?”

“It was back in school,” Kaito said. “It kind of threw me. I’d never been knocked back by a girl from a lower year before.”

“How many lower year girls did you ask out, creeper?”

“She’s seven months younger than me,” Kaito said. “She’s older than you.”

“Oh, so you remember her birthday?”

“When did I ever not remember your birthday?”

“That’s not the point. Don’t think I didn’t see you watching her sashay down the dock.”

“How was that a sashay?” Kaito asked. “It was a saunter at most. Her shoes were too sensible for a proper sashay.”

“She never wore heels,” Amy said wistfully. “She was always an annoyingly elegant giraffe.”

“You two didn’t get along in school, did you?”

“Oh, you picked up on that?”





Jason and Erika watched Ian and Emi roar off on a pair of black jet skis.

“I wanted to have a talk,” Jason said, “but we only have a few moments. Kaito and Amy are here, along with the person I’d actually planned to meet this afternoon.”

Erika went to the side of the houseboat to look around at the car park where Kaito and Amy were talking to an attractive Turkish woman in a business suit.

“Did Shade tell you they were here?”

“I sensed them. I have magic powers, remember?”

She moved back and brushed his arm, as if to reassure herself he was really there.

“You feel different somehow,” she said.

“I am. Come around for a drink tonight and I’ll catch you up on everything. I need a favour.”

“Sure, but you have to do one for me.”

“What’s that?”

“Wally has been bugging me about getting you on the new show. We’re filming new episodes all week, down next to the surf club.”

“Fine,” he chuckled. “If you can herd the family away tomorrow so I can get some things sorted out, I’ll be there Monday.”





Kaito and Amy stepped onto the houseboat just as an unfamiliar, sleepy-looking woman with short, dishevelled hair stepped out of a cabin.

“Who are you?” the woman asked them warily.

“I’m Amy, this is Kaito,” Amy said. “Who are you?”

She peered at them blearily.

“Wait, you're the brother,” she said, pointing at Kaito before turning her finger on Amy. “Which would make you the one who…”

“Jason told you about us?” Kaito guessed.

“Yeah,” Farrah said. “Just to be clear, I’m on his side, so as far as I’m concerned, you can both jump overboard and drown each other.”

She wandered back into the cabin, the misty door sealing it off.





56





A WIZARD DID IT





Amy and Kaito watched Farrah go back into her cabin.

“Do we know who that was?” Kaito asked. “She seemed kind of familiar.”

“She did, but I can’t place her.”

“Wait,” Kaito said. “What about that woman from Jason’s weird hologram recordings? The one he said shoots lava.”

“I think you’re right,” Amy said. “What the hell has Jason got himself involved in?”

“Wasn’t she meant to be in another universe?”

“You realise how absurd that sounds, right?”

“Ames, I don’t know what’s happening. We went through a doorway that led to the other side of town. How do you explain that away?”

“That’s all I’ve been thinking about for days,” she said. “The problem is every explanation I come up with seems less plausible than the last. If we’re talking about Jason setting up a wormhole generator in Erika’s bedroom, magic seems less ridiculous, somehow.”

“It’s past time that Jason gave us some answers.”





The arrival of Jason’s mother had not worked to alleviate Jason’s stress. With everyone in the bar lounge, he strove to explain things thoroughly. The constant stream of questions kept derailing things until he held his head between his hands and let out a groan.

“Mum, the answer is the same as it has been for your last five questions: because magic. You want to know why? Because a wizard did it, that’s why. And that wizard is me. I’m the wizard. Magic is real and I have it. I’m a magic man.”

He conjured his sinister dagger of red crystal and black obsidian.

“See this?” he continued his rant. “This is my magic knife. Don’t touch it because it’ll kill you super dead. Why? Because it’s magic.”

He casually tossed the blade away and it vanished in the air. He then tossed his sunglasses aside in the same manner.

“My eyes turned silver yesterday. That’s just what my life is now. Can you guess why? No, you can’t because it was magic, which hours of explanation is apparently insufficient to drill it into your tiny frigging brains! Asya. Could you explain how I saved us when someone detonated a bomb in our plane? Actually, let me: it was magic. And awesomeness. All of you look around. You’re sitting in chairs made of clouds.”

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