“It was Mother’s!” she said defensively. “Don’t be so concerned. I am quite capable of using it. Goodness, I’ve known how to use a gun for years!”
I sat back from the table to stare at this willful girl.
She met my gaze. “Life is meant to be lived,” she said, “and I mean to live it!”
I laughed aloud, causing the few others dining to look in our direction. “Miss Spencer,” I said, leaning forward, “what a pleasure it is to know you.”
“Now, that, Mr. Burton,” she said, adjusting her lavender and green traveling bonnet, “is more to my liking.”
WHEN WE ALL crammed back in the carriage, to everyone’s joy, we left behind the goat and carried instead a hamper filled not only with a fine lunch but also with two cold bottles of goat milk, more than enough to see Kitty through the last of our journey. We were certain to make it to Williamsburg by evening, and though my relief was great, my heart dreaded the arrival, for then I would be forced into decisions that I did not want to make.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
1830
James
IT WAS EVENING when we rolled up to our destination. Yellow candles flickered in the many windows that fronted the street of the Madden home.
According to Robert, Mr. Madden had died ten years previous during an influenza epidemic, but the elder Mrs. Madden, my grandmother’s sister, still lived in their home, though she was now something of an invalid. Miss Meg, her daughter, and Miss Eleanor, Lavinia’s daughter and my half sister, both resided with her. It was thanks to Miss Meg, who had retained the integrity of the property with vigilant maintenance, that the house presented such a pretty picture.
It wasn’t as large a dwelling as many I had seen, but it was sizable enough that a number of servants would have been required. The two-story home was painted white with black shutters and had low wings that rambled off on either side. Gardens in the front were surrounded by white fencing, while brick paths wound back to whitewashed outbuildings.
Two women rushed out the door as our driver pulled the horses to a stop. I was the first one out. The older woman, who came forward carrying a lantern, was short and rather round. Her hair was knotted at the back of her head, with gray and brown strands frizzing out from the security of hairpins. If I had been pressed, I would have guessed her to be in her early forties. She had a lopsided gait, and because of a cane, she was more slow-moving than the redheaded younger woman who sprinted in front of her.
Lavinia! I stopped myself from calling out her name, for of course it couldn’t have been her. Yet here was her replica, though this woman was no more than in her mid-twenties. In the end, the eyes made all the difference. Where Lavinia’s amber eyes had been demure and shy, Miss Eleanor’s were blue, bright, and bold, and they did not hesitate in their examination of me.
“Brother?” she asked, coming forward and offering her hand.
I took it and leaned forward in a bow. “I apologize for my appearance,” I said, infinitely grateful for the haircut and shave Robert had given me back at the inn.
She continued her unblinking gaze. “I see no similarity in our appearance,” she announced.
“Yes, well . . .” Startled by her forthright remarks, I had no answer. Just then, Hester emerged from the carriage with a squalling Kitty. Relieved at the distraction, I moved to take the babe while Hester lifted her skirts to step down.
If either Miss Meg or Miss Eleanor was surprised to see a Negro baby thus placed into my arms they hadn’t time to absorb their astonishment before Robert and Pan stepped out. Then Addy, the last of our lot, made her appearance. Her lavender traveling dress was heavily wrinkled, and a lengthy tear down the side exposed her petticoat. She had long since abandoned her bonnet, and with a flourish, she swung back her thick black hair. Pausing on the top step, she looked around at the astonished faces that stared up at her, then waved her bonnet in a full sweep as she exclaimed to all, “We have finally arrived!”
From the little I knew of our hostesses, they defied ordinary convention and lived, if not on, then close to the fringe. They recognized in Adelaide another like themselves, and their acceptance of her was immediate.
AFTER PAN, HESTER, and the baby were taken to their quarters in one of the outbuildings, Caroline was brought to me. She was everything Robert had said she was. A beautiful baby, indeed, with sky-blue eyes and such fair skin that I wondered how she would handle the sun. On first sight of me, she wrinkled her full round face and began to howl. Everyone laughed as I tried to soothe her, but she continued to object to me so vehemently that Miss Meg scooped her away.
“She does not know you. You must give her time,” each of the women said reassuringly. I was not so certain.
I WAS GIVEN a large comfortable room in the main house, with Robert made available to me in a small room adjoining mine. Though I was exhausted, sleep would not come after we retired.
In the last few months, since I’d lost Caroline, danger had been a constant. I had been on the run until my deadly encounter with Rankin. Now, in this peaceful room, back in orderly civilization, I felt disoriented.
I expected to feel more at home in these surroundings. I, too, had searched Miss Eleanor’s face, expecting to see some family resemblance, but had found none. The fact that she so looked like Lavinia, yet held such an opposite disposition, further bewildered me. The worst of it was when I recalled Rankin’s words about my mother. Unable to rid myself of the thoughts of her abuse by Marshall and Rankin, I could not rest.
Until now I had not known that I was conceived in violence. I had judged Belle harshly for having given herself to Marshall. Understanding now that she had been molested, I wondered how she could have tolerated her pregnancy. Surely she could not have loved me. Yet Rankin had said that my removal from her had been an act of vengeance. It could have been that only if Belle had cared for me.
From old habit I began to pace; when the floorboards creaked, afraid of disturbing others, I seated myself next to the open window. The road below was worn smooth and the gardens groomed. All about lay order and serenity. I struggled with questions late into the night. Should I try to make a home here in Williamsburg? Robert did not think this place would welcome me. Where, then, did I belong? Was my birth an accident of fate, or was my life intended to have some purpose?
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
1830
James
IN THE MORNING I was invited into the dining room for a morning meal, and there to meet the elderly Mrs. Madden, who had been asleep on our arrival. I had met her as a child, for she was my grandmother’s sister, and though I was young, I knew that she strongly disapproved of my grandmother’s attachment to me. Yet Mrs. Madden was my great-aunt, and I felt hopeful of a warm reception. However, when Miss Eleanor presented me, I soon learned otherwise.
After the introduction and before we sat to eat, I asked if Hester was available, as I wanted to know how Kitty had fared through the night. Mrs. Madden requested that I wait with my business dealings until after we ate, and manners dictated that I oblige.