Chapter 23
Kyler
The girls made a quick exit, leaving Tanner and me to our own devices. He ordered a beer, and if I weren’t driving, I would’ve ordered an entire bottle of Jim Beam.
“That went brilliantly,” I said, rubbing my temples.
Tanner snickered. “I didn’t think it went that bad. Well, when Blondie showed up, that was about ten kinds of awkward, but…”
“That was just awkward?” I couldn’t believe that Corie had popped by our table. Syd and I seemed to be getting somewhere and then BAM, a blast from the past. Perfect fucking timing. “I’m sure Syd enjoyed that.”
He took a swig of his beer. “Buddy, you need to tell me what happened between you two, because a week ago, Sydney probably would’ve been irked about that, but she wouldn’t have cared that much. So stop with the bullshit and tell me what happened.”
I arched a brow at him.
Tanner winked. “Or I’ll get the girl version from Andrea, in which you will come across as a giant ass. Tell me your side of the story.”
“I am a giant ass.”
He tipped his chin down. “Do tell.”
The last thing I wanted to be doing was talking female problems with Tanner, but shit, I could tell by the way Andrea acted, she knew. He’d find out sooner or later. So I told him the bare basics. No way in hell was I going to go into detail, not about Syd, because that was just wrong. When I finished, I really didn’t feel any better. Sort of just confirmed how much of an ass I’d been this entire time—years of being the King of Assdom.
Tanner sat back, shaking his head slowly. “I think I need another beer to digest all of that.”
“Shit. You and me both.” I ran a hand through my hair. “So yeah, I fucked up. Royally.”
“Well, people have fucked up more than you have, bro. Trust me on that.” He leaned forward, expression serious. “The shit with Zach is fucking terrible, but you didn’t know that stuff was going to happen. Sydney’s a reasonable girl. She’ll get over that.”
“I don’t think I can get over that.” I paused, staring at the table. “The fucker hurt her because of what I did in my past. If it wasn’t for me, she never would’ve gone through that.”
“But you didn’t do that to her.”
“Is there really a difference?”
“Yes,” Tanner said adamantly. “It’s not a huge difference. You did create the situation, but you didn’t force that fucker to do anything. That’s not on you, bro. It’s not.”
I got what he was saying, but it would take a lot to absolve me of that guilt.
“And that’s not the big issue,” Tanner said, eyeing me. “Did you lie to her about Sasha?”
“Shit.” I raised my hands. “I really don’t know. I mean, when Syd asked me about her, it was before anything went down between us. I didn’t think Syd really thought of me any different. All I said was that Sasha and I weren’t like that. And we’re not. We hooked up once over a year ago. I just wasn’t thinking when I said it to Syd.”
“Hmm, technicalities are a bitch.” Tanner finished off his beer, eyes narrowed. “Did you really think Sydney didn’t have it bad for you?”
“No. I didn’t. I couldn’t think that, because if…”
“If she didn’t, then it would ruin your friendship. I get that, but damn, that girl…you must’ve been rocking some serious denial.” He shrugged. “Makes sense, though—you secretly wanting her and shit.”
“It does?”
Tanner laughed. “Yeah, man, you didn’t like it if a guy even looked in her direction. Hell, if I looked at her too long, you’d get pissed. And when you went after Nate? That’s some pretty hardcore ‘friendship’ right there.”
“Shut up,” I growled.
He smirked. “So what are you going to do? Be a *, or fix this?”
“Excuse me?” I shook my head. “Dude, you’re lucky I like you.”
“You’re lucky I don’t bullshit around.” He winked as he pulled the sleeve of his sweater down, covering one of the intricate tattoos etched into his arm. “Look. I’m being serious. You love this girl, right?”
For once in my life, I didn’t hesitate. “Yes. I love her, Tanner.” Holy shit, that was the first time I’d said it out loud. It shook me up and my voice was thick. “I love her more than anything.”
“Then what’s the deal?”
I stared at him. “I’m pretty sure I listed all the problems.”
“You listed a bunch of unfortunate shit is what you did. Nothing not fixable. It isn’t like you did something unforgivable. It’s not like one of you two is dead.”
I didn’t know what to say at first. “Damn…” And that was all I could say.
Tanner sighed. “A lot of people would kill to have the chance to be with the one they love. Don’t mess it up.”
He never really talked about his past, and other than the weirdness between him and Andrea, he didn’t really talk to girls. Slipping in and out of their beds? That was more up Tanner’s alley. “What about you?” I asked.
“Me?” He laughed again. “I am allergic to that shit. Love? Nope. All I’ve seen that do is tear people down and fuck up lives. I don’t want any part of that.”
My brows shot up in surprise. “Whoa. That’s…that’s positive.”
“Whatever. We aren’t talking about me and we aren’t going to, so get that look off your face.”
I raised my hands. “Message received.”
Tanner cocked his head to the side and gave a tight smile. “Anyway, all I’m saying is, why are you still sitting here talking to me?”
Staring at him a moment, I shrugged. “Who else is going to drive your grumpy ass home?”