Chapter 20
Sydney
Standing next to the Christmas tree, I watched the state vehicle ease down the road, its plow scraping up snow and pushing it aside. Sirens blared off in the distance. Kyler must’ve called the police. That was smart, really smart. I honestly hadn’t even considered that. It was like my brain wasn’t working right.
My jaw and lip ached, but I felt detached from it. Residual terror and adrenaline sent a shudder through me. I wasn’t really hurt. Other than the one blow Zach had landed, I was okay for the most part. By the looks of Kyler’s knuckles, I bet Zach was worse off than me. And the wall of the living room had taken the bullet.
Zach had wanted to scare me, and he’d succeeded. I honestly don’t know what would’ve happened if I hadn’t been able to pull away and grab the gun from where Kyler had propped it against the wall. And what if Zach had gone for it? Right now, I couldn’t really consider all that could’ve happened. If I had learned anything in my psychology courses, it was that humans were capable of doing anything and Zach…yeah, something was definitely wrong with him. The gun had shaken so badly in my hands when I’d turned and pointed it at Zach. I’d seen the hesitation in his eyes—does she have the guts to pull the trigger? Is it even loaded?
I’d wondered that at the time, too.
My knees shook so badly I was surprised I was still standing and hadn’t fallen into the Christmas tree yet. I knew it was shock. Not the deadly kind, but shock nonetheless.
“Syd?”
At the sound of Kyler’s voice, my eyes stung. I didn’t turn around.
“The police are almost here. They’re going to want to know what happened.” Another stretch of silence and when he spoke again, he sounded closer. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I croaked, wishing he’d just go away. I wasn’t ready to deal with him yet. I didn’t think I’d ever be ready. My chest ached worse than any other part of my body.
There was a pause. “Did he…did he hurt you? I mean, more than what I can see?”
I shook my head, swallowing hard. The sirens were closer. I dreaded talking to the police.
“Syd, will you…will you look at me?”
I didn’t want to, but I forced myself to turn toward him. He was as pale as I felt, eyes wide and dark like chips of obsidian. I steeled myself, because looking at him hurt in a deep, unforgiving way. “What, Kyler?”
He looked like he was about to take a step forward, but stopped. “What…what’s going on? Why won’t you let me touch you?” His head tilted to the side and a chunk of brown hair fell across his forehead. “And I really want to just hold you right now. You have no idea how scared I was when I realized he was in here. I never—”
“Stop—stop right there.” I held up a hand, realizing that I still had the gun in the other. I lowered it to the floor, the lump in my throat the size of a golf ball. Everything rushed to the surface in dizzying speed. This so wasn’t the time for this, but I couldn’t stop myself. “You don’t think I know where you were?”
His brows rose as he took a step back. “Syd, I—”
“I went to the lodge looking for you. Yeah, I know I was supposed to stay here, and maybe this shit wouldn’t have gone down the way it did if I had stayed here, but I went there and you weren’t there.” The back of my throat burned. “You were with Sasha, who, from what I heard, seemed really happy to see you, and you didn’t think twice about going back to her place. Not even after we—” My voice gave out and I shook my head, blinking back tears. “You lied to me.”
Kyler opened his mouth, but I cut him off, on a roll. “You told me that you and Sasha weren’t like that, but that was obviously not the case, was it? All of this—the stuff with the window, and the generator, and Zach? This was because of you and her. Zach came here because you slept with his girlfriend!”
He flinched, and my stomach tumbled. I hated that I actually felt sorry for that. “Oh, God,” he said. “Syd, baby, I’m so—”
“Don’t say it!” My voice cracked. A tear snuck out and I wiped at it angrily. “You have never lied me to before. Never! But you lied about her, and he came here because of your inability to keep your dick in your pants for five seconds!” That was a low blow. I knew that. I also knew that what Zach had done really wasn’t Kyler’s fault, but I was hurt. I was destroyed, and I wanted him to hurt as much as I did. “Tell me this. Did you use a condom with her earlier? Did you fuck her face to face? Or is the whole ‘doing it from behind’ just another lie? God, you must think I’m the stupidest chick alive because I believed that.”
Kyler looked like I’d kicked him in the junk. “What? No. I don’t think that, and that wasn’t a lie, Syd. I—”
“It doesn’t matter.” I drew in a sharp breath, and it hurt as it scorched my throat. “I’m a lot of things, but I’m not that stupid.”
Before he could say anything else, a stranger’s voice rang out from downstairs—a police officer’s—and I stepped forward, my entire body trembling. “You were right, Kyler.” Tears clogged my throat. “I do deserve better than this.”