Another measured step from him, and I found myself backing up until I hit the glass window. A slow predatory smile graced his lips, and heat flooded my veins in a maddening rush. “Since when?”
Words were so hard to form. “For…for a while.”
“How long?”
“A long time.”
He shook his head. “That doesn’t tell me much.”
“Long enough,” I said.
“And what is it again that you want?”
I wasn’t sure if I could speak, not when he was looking at me like that. “You.”
“You’re going to have to be a little more detailed than that, baby.” He stopped in front of me, and I had to crane my neck to see his expression. “Waiting…”
Was he really going to make me go into a detailed thesis? I started to look away, but his fingers landed on my chin, holding my gaze to his. His eyebrow arched. “I…I want you.”
His gaze dropped, and even though I wore a heavy sweater I felt bare and vulnerable. I shivered and my nipples tightened. Everything in me tightened. “You’ve said that already. You’ve also said that you want what the other girls have gotten. You know what that is?”
I nodded the best I could.
Kyler lowered his head so that his lips were a scant inch from mine. “I fucked those girls. That’s it. No strings. No commitments. Nothing. And that’s what you want? You want me to fuck you?”
No. I wanted more, so much more. “Yes.”
He sucked in a sharp breath as he dropped his hand. Anger flashed across his striking face—real anger, brightening his cheeks. I knew I’d screwed up then. Disappointment crashed into me with a force of a wrecking ball. This was it. He was turning me down again. The back of my throat burned with the finality of it, because this was it—couldn’t clear the air any better than this. I wanted to kick myself in the head. I’d brought this on myself and most likely ruined our friendship, like for real this time. Screw psychology. I should’ve continued with the whole avoidance thing.
“Turn around,” he ordered.
I blinked. “What?”
“Turn. Around.” The authority in his voice sent a rolling shudder through me, but I was frozen there, staring up at him. His eyes were wider now, and they glimmered like polished onyx. I was trapped in his gaze. “I’m not going to tell you again.”
Part of me wanted to ask what he thought he was going to do if I didn’t listen, but I did turn around, because I had seen the heat in his eyes. Maybe I was hallucinating all of this. Maybe I’d tried to race from the room and had fallen and hit my head. Always possible. Or maybe I’d gotten a concussion from the snowmobile of death and the earlier knock I’d taken from Kyler’s hard-as-hell head.
“This is how I do it.” His heavy, deep voice caused me to jump. Chuckling, he brushed the mass of hair off my neck, tossing it over my shoulder, and then his breath was warm and hot along the back of my neck. “Sometimes standing, sometimes against the wall like this, or sometimes on our knees, with me behind them.”
Oh. My. God. Totally made me the queen of creepers, but I’d always wondered how he did it. I stared out into the snow, but I didn’t really see anything. Heat blossomed low in my stomach, rushing through my veins. I licked my lips and then bit down as a hand skimmed my hip before settling on the curve of my waist.
“I don’t do it any other way, not with girls I just fuck.” Another hand landed on my other side, his fingers gathering the material. “And that’s what you want, Syd? You want me to fuck you from behind?”
My breath hitched and a deep ache started between my thighs. “I…”
“Which way?” he asked, and shifted closer. His lips brushed my cheek, and I could feel him all along the back of me even though he wasn’t pressing against me. “Do you want to do it like this? Or we can get down on our knees. I’m fine either way.”
OhGodOhGodOhGod…I had no idea what to say. The only time I’d had sex, it was missionary, and I honestly didn’t know how this would work with the height difference or—
“You’re thinking, Syd. Did you change your mind?”
Was that what he wanted? Or did he just expect that of me, because he’d heard what Nate had said? I was frigid, and frigid girls sure as hell didn’t do this. I squeezed my eyes shut. “Like this.”
A muttered curse came out of him, and my eyes flew open. Was that the wrong thing to say? But then his hands fisted my sweater and before I could say “orgasm,” he had tugged my sweater right over my head and off me.
And then I was standing there in my jeans and bra. Not the grossly padded bra—thank God—but a bra. Holy crap, we were going to do this—he was going to do me. We were going to fuck. A little bit of unease wiggled its way through me. There was nothing romantic about that, nothing sweet and affectionate. Fucking was just that—fucking. And he didn’t sound particularly happy about any of this.
This was all wrong.
Kyler’s large hands landed on the bare skin of my sides, and I jerked at the contact. “Put your hands on the glass, Syd.”
All thoughts fled my mind as the heat expanded deep within me. My body responded shamelessly to his order and the deep timbre of his voice. The windowpane was cool under my palms.
“Good.” One hand drifted over my skin, moving to just below my belly button and over the band of my jeans. His hand flattened. “Keep your hands on the window.”
He pulled me toward him as he seemed to lean over me, so that I was slightly bowed and nestled against him, but still touching the window. I could feel him hot and hard pressing into my back, and sensation trilled through my veins.
“You should’ve said something earlier—that this was all you wanted.” There was a tightness to his words, a hard edge I didn’t understand. He was definitely ticked off, but he was doing this.
Confusion and lust swirled inside me, and I didn’t know which way I was going. His other hand started to move, skimming up along my ribs, sending shivers through me. “I would’ve…helped you out a long time ago,” he said.
I couldn’t think, not when his hand drifted over my upper stomach and then over the cup of my bra. A moan escaped me as my back arched. “Kyler…”
“Shit.” His hand stilled as his hips pushed forward. With his other hand still holding me in place there was no escaping the slow, torturous pump or what it meant. Not that I wanted to. I pushed back against him and he groaned deep in his throat.
His hand moved away from my bra, and I whimpered. But then he reached between us and, with incredibly nimble fingers, undid the bra quicker than it took me to fasten it. The material slipped down my arms and I let go of the window long enough for the bra to hit the floor. Cold air hit my chest, dueling with the heat battering me from the inside.
He wasn’t in front of me, but I knew he was looking at me. As tall as he was, it didn’t take much. There was a slight reflection of us in the window, and I could feel the intensity in his gaze. The tips of my breasts tightened even more, becoming almost painful.
Then his hands were on me, and my entire body sparked alive. His fingers moved over me, gently exploring the swell of my breasts, teasing the tips. He lowered his lips to the spot below my ear, pressing a hot little kiss there. “Dammit, Sydney.”
His fingers caught a nipple and I cried out, moving my hips back against his in a silent plea. Trailing kisses down my neck, over the slope of my shoulder, and all along, he kept touching me until my breasts felt heavy and swollen. It had not been like that with Nate.
Kyler nipped at the side of my neck. “You…you deserve better than this, baby. Dammit, you deserve better than this.”
I was pretty sure that I was getting exactly what I deserved—and happily, too. One of his hands left my breast and traveled down my stomach. With a flick of his finger, he undid the top button and slipped his hand into my jeans.
“Tell me to stop,” he said, kissing along my jaw. “Tell me.”
“No,” I breathed out. “I don’t want you to stop.”
He muttered something beyond my understanding, and then he kissed where my pulse pounded. His hand slipped under my panties and then he was cupping me with his long fingers. “You’re so ready for me, aren’t you?”
I flushed, sort of embarrassed because I was oh-so-ready, but then he moved his thumb against the center of me, and I cried out his name, shaking as sweetly sharp pleasure rose so quickly I was dizzy.
“God,” he groaned, his hips grinding against me as he worked a finger inside slowly. “You keep saying my name like that and this is going to be all over before it gets started.”
“Kyler,” I begged, because seriously, I was at the point of begging.
His finger hooked, and I was so close already. He started a slow rhythm that was so gentle that it bordered on madness. “You’re so tight,” he said, and I’d never heard his voice like that. Raw. Primal. “Damn, baby, you haven’t done anything since…?”
I shook my head. “No. No one since him.”
“That’s what I thought, but…” He shuddered, but his hand…his finger didn’t break rhythm. The slow, steady thrust built a fire inside me that quickly spread. My hips moved against his hand, and I could hear his soft breaths in my ear, and each time his hips pushed against mine, it brought me one step closer to release. Every muscle tightened, and I was going to explode. I was going to—
A loud crack whipped through the room like thunder, and the window in front of us exploded.