“Those two are crazy. I don’t even think they’ve gone out on a date.”
“They haven’t. I don’t think they’ve done anything, but I still bet they’ll end up married with tons of babies.”
Kyler chuckled as he leaned back against the foot of the recliner behind him. “You know what I was thinking?”
I glanced over my shoulder at him. His head was tipped back, exposing the expanse of his neck. He had a sexy throat. Hell, the boy had a sexy everything. A smile tugged at my lips as my chest warmed up. “What?”
“I was thinking about changing majors.”
“Huh?” I laughed. “You’re graduating in the spring, Kyler.”
He grinned as he lowered his chin. His eyes were a warm brown. “It’s too late for that?”
“Probably.” I wiggled around so I was half-facing him. He spread out one leg, giving me more room. “You don’t want to do business management? Like your mom and stepfather?”
Those full lips of his pursed thoughtfully. “Honestly?”
“Yeah.” Business management might sound lame to some people, but there were a lot of stable careers in that and money to be made. Especially for someone like Kyler, who had the connections needed to start his own business, which according to the last time I’d talked to his mom, was following in her footsteps. I really tried not to think about that, because it meant that once we graduated, I’d stay in Maryland to get my doctorate, and Kyler would start traveling, like his mom. After spending more than half my life with him within arm’s length, I wasn’t sure how I’d handle the separation.
It sort of struck me then, my sudden inability to ignore my wild monkey lust for him and my feelings that were stronger than friendship. We’d be separated sooner rather than later. Knots filled my stomach.
His eyes met mine, expression suddenly seriously. “I don’t know.”
Truth was, Kyler had the luxury of changing his mind this late in the game. His family had enough money that he could hold off graduating. He could go back and get another degree. He could do nothing. My parents were nowhere near as wealthy as his. My dad ran his own insurance office and mom taught at the local private school, so there’d been a college fund for me, but if I decided to change my mind now or take a few years off before grad school, my parents would kick my ass from here to home and back again.
“What do you want to do?” I asked, but I already had a suspicion.
“Travel the world as a millionaire playboy?”
“Ha. Funny.”
He flashed a quick grin. “Seriously?”
I nodded.
“Restoring old bars and shit? I don’t know about that. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a bad job.”
“No, it’s not. But?”
The light in the ceiling flickered as the wind gusted. He smiled, and I released the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “You know how my minor is in biology, right? And I’ve been adding a lot of math classes in?”
“Yeah,” I said, relaxing into him. He seemed to be okay with that, because he shifted so that my head was against his chest and his arms were clasped around me. “I just figured something was wrong with your brain for taking those classes.”
He laughed. “Nah, my brain functions normally, most of the time.” There was a pause, and then he said, “I was thinking about going to vet school after graduating.”
My eyes fell shut as my heart did this stupid squeeze-floating thing. Kyler’s biggest soft spot had always been animals. Once, in the third grade, he’d found a pigeon outside on the playground. Its wing had been broken, and left alone, it would have surely died. He’d kicked a fit, and I mean, refusing to sit at his desk and everything, until the teacher dug up a small box.
Kyler had marched out onto the playground and scooped up the little bird. He’d also made his mom take it to the vet. A pigeon—a creature that no one else would’ve given a crap about. He’d become my hero in that moment.
“Syd?” There was uncertainty in his voice, like he thought I might think giving up a career where he could make millions for one where the main payback would be helping animals was insane.
I inhaled a shaky breath as I snuggled closer. I couldn’t have Kyler the way I wanted him. I knew that, accepted that. The drunken version of me didn’t, obviously, but still, I was proud to call him a friend. “I think it’s a great idea.”
“You do?” He sounded surprised.
I smiled. “I think it’s wonderful. It’s something you feel passionate about. You should do it.”
Kyler didn’t respond, but I felt some tension seep out of him. Something I hadn’t really noticed until then. Maybe that’s what he needed. Affirmation.
As we sat there in the silence, watching the flames create dancing shadows along the wood walls, I realized something else in that moment. Even though I knew that all we ever would have between us was friendship, I loved him.
Oh man…
I would always love Kyler Quinn.
I was so screwed.