Chapter 30
BEN
“This feels different,” I admit to myself as I lie in bed, my head nestled within my arms, staring up at the ceiling of Elsie’s room.
And it has nothing to do with my dad being gone.
I wish Reese were lying next to me. I’m trying to tell myself that it’s because I just sat in the car for two hours listening to her sexy voice. I was grinning like an idiot the entire time.
And then, when I caught Mama in here tonight with her hands on the pillows, about to change the sheets, I hollered at her to stop. She patted my chest with a little smile and left quietly, leaving me to bury my face in Reese’s pillow to inhale the scent of strawberries and cream.
And now, here I am, thinking about kissing Reese tonight before I left her, and how much I didn’t want to leave her.
To be honest, I was expecting the novelty of Reese to wear off after Friday night; that finally getting her into my bed would have satisfied this intense urge that’s been driving me crazy for weeks. I mean, I’m a guy who likes the chase. That’s always been the case. But it’s not the case with Reese.
Quite the opposite, actually.
Now, I just want to hold onto her to keep her from getting away. And leaving her tonight, thinking about her possibly hooking up with that douchebag ex of hers, had my teeth grinding against each other. I know that part of it is her giving him the time of day after how much he hurt her. But most of it’s not, because when I think about her hooking up with anyone else, I feel the exact same tight ball forming in my stomach.
Yeah, things have definitely changed. I’m just not sure what the hell I’m supposed to do about it.
“How’d you sleep, darling?” Mama asks from her seat on the back porch, one of Grandma’s knit blankets wrapped around her as she sips at her tea.
I lean in to lay a kiss on her head. “Out like a light, as usual. You know that.” Once my body shuts down, it takes a lot to wake me up. I was teasing Reese yesterday. If she was talking or doing anything else in her sleep, I have no fucking clue.
Mama smiles. “You always were my best sleeper. Such a happy, easy baby.”
I set my cup of coffee down on the small end table—another piece made by my father; the house is like a Joshua Morris museum—and settle myself into a chair. “When’s everyone getting here?”
“Elsie should be here this afternoon. Rob and Jake will be here Wednesday with their families. Josh, not until late Thursday. He can’t afford to lose time with work.” My oldest brother—my father’s namesake and arguably a chip off the old block—works as a crane operator in Chicago. At least he’s admitted that he has a drinking problem and is trying to get help. The medical bills, coupled with child support and alimony, mean he’s struggling to make ends meet in a shitty studio apartment in one of Chicago’s less desirable areas.
“It’s gonna to be a full house.”
“I know.” Mama smiles sadly. “It’s been a long time since I could say that.” She holds out a plate of cake. “Here, have some of this. We have twenty more waiting inside.”
“Neighbors have been good to us.” I gladly reach out and grab a piece, stuffing it into my mouth.
“It’s delicious, isn’t it?”
I moan in response. I never turn down sweets, though I probably should. If I ever stop working out, I’ll end up with a gut like Jack’s in no time.
“Hayley made it.”
“Who’s Hayley?” Crumbs fly out of my mouth.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Mama scolds. “Lorna’s daughter. She’s coming by to help pick. Yesterday’s harvest went over to the packing place this morning. They’ll be on the road by this afternoon.”
At least that’s taken care of. I still can’t believe Reese was out there that long, filling those crates. I could kiss her for it. Hell, I could kiss her for anything, but that’s as good an excuse as any.
There’s a pause. “There’s always room here for one more.”
I shoot her a confused look.
“Reese, son,” she clarifies with an exasperated sigh. “Why don’t you invite her to come up and stay with us.”
“Well, for one thing, because she works full time. Plus, why would she want to hang out here for an entire week while we get ready for a funeral?”
She takes a small sip of her tea. “Something tells me she would.”
Of course. Which brings me to what I haven’t had a chance to say earlier. “Mama, you’ve gotta stop telling people that Reese is my girlfriend.”
“Oh, did that slip out accidentally?” She makes a show of dusting crumbs off her hand, her eyes averted.
“Just once or twice,” I mock softly, leaning back into my chair to stretch my feet out. “We’re just friends. I don’t need things to get confusing by putting labels on it.”
“You think the label’s going to change what’s going on?” I catch her lips curl into a smile, as if she knows some secret, but she hides it behind another sip. What the hell did those two women talk about out there yesterday? It was a sly move on Mama’s part. One minute she’s in the kitchen. Then I head to the can and she’s gone when I come out.
“How was dropping her off last night? Did your boss say anything about you two?”
“He offered his condolences and told me that family comes first.”
“Hmm . . . sounds like a good man,” she murmurs.
“Yeah, he is.” And I’m starting to feel guilty for what I’m doing with his stepdaughter, especially after our talk. He must have figured it out by now.
“Well, I’ve booked the funeral for Friday. Pastor Phillips said he can do it. I don’t want to bother with a visitation. I don’t expect many people . . .” Her voice drifts off and her gaze becomes distant.
“Not for him, anyway.” As soon as I see her flinch at my words, I regret it. I’ve been really careful not to talk like that, not to let any of my feelings come out. It only hurts her.
Reaching out, I take her hand in mine. “I’m going to phone the insurance company today and get everything sorted out. Okay?”
She nods slowly. “I didn’t realize how expensive funerals have become.”
“Don’t worry about that, Mama. I’ve got money to cover that until the insurance pays out.”
“Oh, I can’t take your—”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”
She peers up at me. “How’d I get so lucky to have a son like you?”
Getting up, I kiss her again. “Because you raised me to be like this. And because I made a lot of money taking care of naked women at Penny’s.”
“Oh, Ben.” She shakes her head but then starts to laugh softly.
“I’ll be out in the grove. Call my cell if you need anything.”
As I’m walking through the door and into the kitchen, Mama calls out, “I’d like Reese to come to the funeral. Do you think she’d come?”
I shake my head with resignation, knowing what the woman is up to. “I’m not sure, Mama. I’ll ask her.”
The familiar rumble and squeaky brakes of the farm truck comes to a stop behind the tractor. Assuming it’s Mama, I don’t bother turning around.
“Ben?” My name rolls off an unfamiliar female voice.
Turning on my heels, I watch a twenty-something-year-old girl with white-blond hair and mile-long legs slide out of the truck.
Slamming the heavy door shut, she walks forward, her hand out. “I’m Hayley Parker. I’m here to help pick.”
I accept it with a quick shake. “Yeah, right. Mama said you’d be by. Thanks for offering.”
Sidling up beside me, she slides her hands into the back pockets of her shorts as her blue eyes take in the tree in front of us. “I used to work on a citrus farm, so I have practice.”
“Perfect. Then I won’t make myself look like an ass by trying to train you.” She’s pretty, there’s no doubt about that, in an all-American-girl kind of way. I’ve had plenty of them.
Her smile does a flip into a full-lipped pout as she reaches out and lays a hand on my bicep. “I’m so sorry about your dad.”
With a nod, I turn back to pluck a few high tangerines.
“You don’t remember me, do you?” she asks, joining in to test and pull some fruit off the lower branches.
My hand freezes. Shit . . . That sounds like a setup. She doesn’t look at all familiar and I’m usually good with the faces of women I’ve screwed around with. I hazard a glance at her, to really look at her. How the hell did I miss the perky set of tits staring out at me from beneath that tight pink T-shirt before? Probably because of those damn legs.
“You were a senior when I started high school,” Hayley finally elaborates.
“Did we . . . know each other?” That’s my covert way of asking, “Did I nail you?” Because I’d be surprised. Fourteen-year-olds didn’t do it for me when I was seventeen.
“No. I mean, I knew who you were.” Her voice trails off as she blushes, her fingers stretched over multiple pieces of fruit as she strolls over to a crate to gently lay them in.
“I went to every single one of your games. I had the biggest crush on you back then.”
And . . . there it is.
I try to stifle my grin. She’s not the only one. I’m not trying to be a dick about it but when you open your locker to find folded love notes spilling out enough times, you can’t deny it. “You never said hi?” I tease.
She starts giggling as she moves past me, her arm brushing against mine. “No way! I was a scrawny little kid back then.”
And you’re not anymore. Is that what she’s hoping I’ll notice, wearing those tight black shorts? Point made.
“Can you please help me reach those ones?” she asks coyly, standing beneath a branch that extends out above her head. Her hands stretch up enough to lift her shirt, showing off a belly ring.
It instantly makes me thing of Reese. Reese doesn’t have a belly ring. Why doesn’t she have one? That seems to be the standard prerequisite before women move on to the more adventurous locations.
“Ben?”
“Uh, yeah, sorry.” Peeling my eyes away from her piercing, I give my head a shake and shift over to gently pull the branch down. There’re plenty of ripe fruit within her reach. There’s no need for this whole orchestrated move of hers, where she’s standing well within my personal space, facing me, a small smile touching her lips, her eyes on me more than the task at hand.
If the girl knows me, then she knows exactly what I’m like. I never bothered to hide that fact from anyone. I have a strong suspicion that if I wanted to get laid right now, this girl is as good as naked.
There’s only one problem.
She’s not Reese.
Fuck . . . what is happening to me?
Am I actually turning this down?
Yes.
Yes, I am.
“Listen, I’m going to take the truck and head back. I’ve got some things I need to take care of.” Her face crumbles with disappointment, obviously realizing that this eight-year campaign of hers isn’t going to come to an epic conclusion in the grove today. Just in case she decides to throw herself at me—because I’ve had that happen before—I let the branch snap back up in the air as I take several steps backward. “Mama will be back out with the truck soon.” I don’t wait for her answer before I’m climbing in the pickup and hauling ass back home.
“Did you know that Lorna’s daughter has had a crush on me since she was fourteen?” I ask Mama as I jump out of the driver’s seat, back at the house. “’Cause anyone can see that.”
“Did Hayley find you all right?” She keeps her eyes focused on the planters she’s watering.
“Yeah, Mama. She found me, all right.”
“She’s a pretty girl, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I shake my head. “What’s goin’ on with you? One minute you’re trying to marry me off to Reese, the next you’re setting a blond trap for me!” A slow smile stretches across Mama’s face until it’s taking up most of the real estate. I don’t know that I’ve seen her this happy in a long time. “But you didn’t get caught in it, did you?”
“What the hell, Mama! Did you really want me to?”
The water pouring out from her watering wand dies in a dribble as her smile morphs into an exasperated glare. “I wanted you to see for yourself how Reese has changed you, son. Had you never met Reese, what would have happened out there?”
I’d have that girl bent over the side of the wagon right now—that’s what would have happened. My brows spike as I take in Mama’s expectant stare. Does she want details?
“Oh, Benjamin.” She waves a dismissive hand. “I’ve raised four Morris boys and dealt with your father for years. I’m no idiot. Those ladies at the drugstore always got a hoot out of me, filling my cart up with condoms for my active children.”
I smirk, remembering Jake and me walking into each other’s rooms the first time, holding out the boxes of condoms we’d each found on our nightstand. We figured out pretty quickly who had delivered them, seeing as our dad didn’t give a shit. Mama earned the nickname of the Trojan Fairy. Behind her back, of course. There was an unspoken agreement—Mama didn’t mention it to us and we didn’t say a word to her. From then on, we’d just leave a note on our nightstands when we were out, and a new box would appear a few days later, along with a note telling us that she didn’t condone this behavior and to be safe.
With a heavy sigh, I hang my head as I resign myself to the fact that Mama’s right. Reese has done something to me. “Well, I’m not going back out there, so you’d better rescue her with the truck or she’ll be grinding the gears of the tractor to get back. I doubt that girl can handle a stick.”
Not that kind, anyway.