Field Notes on Love

“Oh,” Mae says, finally understanding. He expected her to be relieved, but instead she looks uncertain. She takes the paper from him and examines it. “I should go with you. I mean, not to stay. Just to make sure you get in and everything.”

A few days ago, he would’ve guessed he’d be claustrophobic by now, eager for some space after being stuck overnight in a shoebox with someone he hardly knows. He figured at least one of them would try to scarper off the moment they arrived. But to his surprise, he finds he’s not looking forward to parting ways just yet. And neither, it seems, is she.



“We can drop off your stuff,” she says, “and then…”

She trails off, and he finds himself smiling at the open-endedness of it all. “Brilliant.”

As they walk toward the exit, he wonders what it means that he’s spent his whole life longing to be alone, only to cling to the very first person he meets when he finally gets the chance for some solitude. Maybe he’s not cut out for this after all. Maybe if you’re born a pack animal, it’s simply not possible to become a lone wolf. Even for a week.

But right now he’s not all that bothered by it.

Outside, the clouds are a deep gunmetal gray, and the sky is starting to spit at them. Mae looks up at him expectantly.

“What?” Hugo asks.

“Do you have an umbrella?”

He shakes his head. “No. Why, do you?”

“No,” she says. “But you’re English.”

“So?”

“So I thought you’d have one.”

“Nope. No brolly.” He pretends to reach into his rucksack. “But I think maybe I’ve got my chimney sweep in here somewhere….”

She rolls her eyes at him. “I’m pretty sure a chimney sweep is a person, not a tool.”

“Well,” he says, laughing, “sorry to disappoint, but I don’t have any of the above.”

They begin to walk faster, blinking away the rain. It’s not like back home, where the rain is sideways and pelting; here, it comes straight down like someone has dropped a bucket over the city, and it’s not long before they’re both completely drenched. As they wait to cross at a stoplight, Mae holds a hand over her head.



“I’m not sure that’s really helping,” Hugo says over the roar of the rain, which is coming down so hard that it’s splashing up all around them.

She looks over at him, water dripping from her eyelashes. “Got any better ideas?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Let’s peg it.”

And so they run, their rucksacks thumping against their backs, their trainers soggy and slipping. By the time they reach the enormous brick hostel, they’re both panting hard and laughing a little too. Once inside, they stand beside a rack of brochures about Chicago, their clothes dripping water onto the floor. Mae wrings out her hair as she peers into the lobby, which is full of ratty-looking armchairs occupied by scattered groups of teens and twentysomethings.

“Maybe this won’t be so bad.”

Hugo shrugs. “As long as they have a towel, I’ll be fine.”

“I just feel bad that—”

“I’m not fussed about where I sleep. Honestly. All I care about is getting a slice of that Chicago pizza I’ve heard so much about.”

“That we can do.”

Something about the we makes his heart race.

They push open the door and squelch their way into the lobby in wet shoes. At the front desk is a guy with blue hair and a painful-looking nose ring. He doesn’t move his eyes from the computer as they approach.

“Pardon me,” Hugo says after an uncomfortable silence. “I’m wondering if you have any beds available for the night?”



“Forty-eight bucks for a dorm,” the guy says, sounding terrifically bored. “One thirty-eight for a single.”

Hugo drops his rucksack on the floor and stoops beside it to unzip the front pocket, fishing around for his wallet. “Right. I’ll take a dorm, then. How many beds in each?”

“Four to sixteen.” He finally looks up and registers Mae. “I can try to get you a shared bunk, if you want.”

“No, it’s just for me,” Hugo says quickly. He’s still feeling around inside his rucksack, aware of Mae standing above him. He opens the main part of the bag, pulling out a jumper and a couple of pairs of trousers and a book he hasn’t started yet, but it’s not until he feels his fingers brush the bottom that the worry starts to kick in.

“What are you looking for?” Mae asks, though she must have already guessed.

Hugo gives her a sheepish smile. “Just my wallet. I’m sure it’s in here somewhere….” He tries the front again and finds his passport, tucked inside the smart brown case, and he tugs it free with no small amount of relief. But the wallet isn’t there.

Maybe his mum was right.

Maybe they all were.

Worry starts to turn to panic as he stands up and feels around in the pockets of his jeans and his jacket; then he kneels to search the rucksack again. He knows the wallet isn’t there, but he’s not sure what else to do in the moment except to keep looking, and so he does, tossing the rest of his clothes onto the dirty floor as the blue-haired receptionist peers at him over the counter.

This goes on until Mae kneels beside him, resting a hand gently on his shoulder, and this tiniest of gestures sends a small shock through him. “Did you take it out on the train at all?” she asks in a low voice, and he realizes for the first time that they have an audience. The people in the lounge have mostly stopped what they’re doing to stare at the array of clothes fanned out on the grimy linoleum.



Hugo closes his eyes, trying to remember. And then his stomach lurches. “Bollocks,” he says with a groan. “I took out twenty dollars to give Ludovic just before we got off.”

“We were supposed to tip him?” Mae asks, going pale.

“It was for both of us. But I must not have…” He glances down at the pile of clothes in despair. “I’m such an idiot.”

“We’ll figure it out,” she tells him. “We’ll call. Or go back to the station. Maybe they have a lost-and-found.”

Hugo feels suddenly exhausted, a spreading weariness that makes his bones ache. Two days. That’s all it took for him to prove he’s not up to this.

He sits back on the cold, wet floor and looks up at Mae. “I hate to ask,” he says miserably, “but do you think I could borrow a few quid—dollars—until this gets sorted?”

Mae looks at Hugo as if weighing something. His mind is whirring through all that will happen if the wallet is well and truly lost: the hassle of canceling credit cards, trying to sort new ones, having to ring his parents and tell them what happened. He’s so busy with his thoughts that he’s not fully listening when Mae finally says, “No.”

“No?” he repeats, confused. “I swear I’d pay you back….”

“No, I mean you should just come to the hotel with me. It seems silly for you to stay here, especially now, when we were fine sharing last night.” She flushes, realizing they still have an audience, and adds, “We can ask for a cot. It was your room to begin with, and you were just trying to be nice and make sure I felt comfortable, but…”



Hugo raises his eyebrows, waiting. He can feel a smile building inside him, but he manages to hold it back.

“I already feel comfortable with you,” she says. “So let’s just go get some dinner, okay?”

“Okay,” he says, letting the smile surface. He gestures at the tangle of clothes on the floor all around them. “As long as it’s on you.”





Later, they wander the rain-slicked city, ducking into shops to stay dry. In one of them, which is full of Chicago-themed souvenirs, Hugo tries on a hat shaped like a football.

“Do I look like an American?” he asks with a grin.

“You look,” Mae says brightly, “like an idiot.”

She picks out a delicate snow globe with a jagged skyline for her dads. The spotty cell reception along the route had made phone calls tricky, so they’ve been texting her constantly instead:

Dad: My phone is broken.

Mae: Sorry. What happened?

Dad: Wait—never mind! There’s been a miracle!

Mae: Huh?

Dad: My phone—it’s working again!

Mae: Clearly.

Dad: I just figured it must be broken, since I hadn’t heard from you AT ALL today.

Mae: Bravo. Well played.

Dad: Thanks. Was the miracle thing too over the top?

Mae: Nope. You really sold it.

And: