Falling Away

I ran my hand over the top of my head, letting out a frustrated sigh as I stopped next to the stairs.

 

I turned, looking at him. “Do you have any idea how far in advance these races are scheduled now? It’s not high school anymore.”

 

He narrowed his eyes. “Do I need to kick your ass?”

 

I dropped my gaze, smirking. Yeah, Madoc and Jared were old favorites here, but things were a hell of a lot different now. Whereas they had to contend with three or four races a night, we now had ten to fifteen, and some going simultaneously.

 

“I’m not saying that.” I moved away from the stairs, seeing Zack—the Racemaster—climb down from the podium.

 

“Hey,” I greeted Zack, and gestured over toward the track. “Roman’s going to send off the rally race, so can you make sure Sam knows to get his ass out first with the camera before they take off this time?”

 

“Sure.” He nodded and slapped Madoc on the arm. “Hey, man.”

 

“Hey,” Madoc answered but kept his eyes on me, waiting for me to get my reality check.

 

“Okay.” I laughed after Zack had walked off. “Of course I can fit you in.” I lowered my voice and arched an eyebrow before continuing. “Even though everything is scheduled down to the minute, and you’re messing with my timetable right now. But okaaaay.”

 

He smiled, teeth flashing bright white, nudging my arm. “Thanks, dude!” And then walked off.

 

“You need an opponent,” I called after him.

 

He turned, slipping his hands into his jeans. “I know,” he replied.

 

But I didn’t like his smile as he walked away.

 

For the next half hour, we got through five races—two rallies off track and three on. Once the cars were suited up and races began, my job got easier. I sat up in the podium running the cameras, alternating angles for the viewers so they always had exciting perspectives when they were on the site. Once in a while, I’d have to go and help with the cameras or the cars, because something wasn’t working, but Zack handled setting off the cars, and he, Roman, and a few others handled the bets.

 

It was easy and comfortable. Up here. Alone. With a clear view of the action below.

 

“Hey.”

 

I turned around and saw Cameron, stepping up the last stair, carrying a red Solo cup. She was dressed in a black miniskirt and a red flannel shirt tied above her belly button with the sleeves rolled up.

 

“Hey.” I leaned back against the small table, crossing my arms over my chest.

 

She came up next to me, looking down at the crowd silently. Everyone was enjoying whatever they’d brought in their coolers while Rob Zombie’s “Never Gonna Stop” played over the speakers.

 

I rubbed my fingers against my palms as I clenched my fists. My hands were actually sweating, and I didn’t understand why—after five years of knowing Cameron—I was suddenly uncomfortable.

 

The thick silence hung there between us, and I searched my brain for something to ask her. College? No, she wasn’t going. Her old foster parents? Maybe.

 

She broke the silence before I could. “Well, this is fun.” Her nervous laugh seemed so out of place.

 

“Yeah,” I muttered, wondering why the hell I felt uneasy.

 

She looked at me, her eyes serious. “So I’ve finally lost you, haven’t I?”

 

I swallowed, not knowing exactly what she meant but definitely noticing the difference.

 

“Never,” I said thoughtfully. “I’m always your friend.”

 

“But I’m not the only woman you love anymore.”

 

I dropped my eyes, my lips curling on a hidden smile. I did love Cameron. She was the only girl I’d really talked to. But while we were very much the same, my heart never held her close. She was a friend. Someone I could trust and someone who would stand up for me.

 

But after she’d leave for the night, I didn’t think about her, and I didn’t count the minutes until I could see her again.

 

She stood up straight, shrugging. “I know it’s not like that with us. Not love-love, per se,” she clarified. “But we were each other’s firsts. No matter who I hooked up with, you were always ten times more important.”

 

I flattened my lips, feeling guilty that it was different for me.

 

We’d both lost our virginity long before we met each other, but we always considered each other our real first.

 

Since our first sexual experiences weren’t something we wanted to remember.

 

We were there for each other, and I loved her.

 

But there was a girl who was more important for me, and it had been that way for a long time. A very long time.

 

She continued. “It never even occurred to me that it would be hard when you finally replaced me in your heart.”

 

I looked down to the track, seeing Juliet sitting on the bleachers with Shane, Fallon, and … One Direction.

 

I blew out a breath. “I have no heart. You know that.”

 

She shook her head, tears pooling. “You suck,” she joked.

 

“Why?” I grinned. “Because I’m letting another girl have some summer fun with me?”

 

“No,” she blurted out. “Because you’re keeping her to yourself.”

 

My chest shook with laughter as I yanked her in by the neck and kissed her forehead. Her blond hair, hanging in a high ponytail, smelled like overripe strawberries. I glanced down at Juliet, thinking of her hair that smelled like a crisp fall morning.

 

And she was looking up at me.

 

Shit.

 

Her eyes were narrowed as she rested her elbows on her knees and watched me with my arm around Cameron.

 

I sighed, pulling away. “I’ll see you, okay?”

 

I left Cameron and climbed down the ladder, facing forward as I jumped the last five steps to the ground.

 

Girls liked to make a mountain out of a molehill, so now I had to go put out the damn fire she’d no doubt started in her head.

 

As I approached the bleachers—where she sat two rows up—I noticed Shane sitting next to her, talking to friends on her other side, while Madoc, Fallon, and Adam stood up, talking to a group of people.

 

She saw me and looked away, straightening her back. I set my foot on the bottom bleacher and leaned in next to her face.

 

“Don’t,” I cautioned, looking in her eyes.

 

She dropped her chin, looking almost sad. God, I wanted to wrap my arms around her.

 

“Don’t what?” she mumbled.

 

“Don’t be jealous.”