“I barely even remember my first time, Brooklyn. He used me. And I let him.” She started crying again.
I pulled her into my chest. A million thoughts were running through my head. Wasn’t that rape? She needed to tell someone. She needed to get tested. She needed to…I looked down at the top of her head. Right now, she needed to cry. And she needed someone to hold her. I cried too. For everything she lost. For how much she was hurting. I cried because she’d been alone in this secret for days. I was so acutely aware of my own pain, how had I not seen hers?
“I really liked him, Brooklyn,” she sobbed. “And I thought he liked me back. Why does no one ever like me back?” Her body shuddered as she cried.
I held her until she ran out of tears.
“You need to tell your mom about this, Kennedy.”
“How? She’d be so ashamed of me.”
“No, she’ll hurt for you. She’ll be mad for you. But she won’t be ashamed. He took advantage of you, Kennedy. He can’t just do that and get away with it.”
“Of course he can.” She finally looked up at me. “You really think our lawyer - the one who couldn’t even get you away from the Pruitts - is going to get some kind of justice against the Dicksons? Everyone at Empire High can get away with anything they want. Except for us.” She sat up and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. “I just feel so dumb.”
“You’re not dumb, Kennedy.” I sat up too.
“Everyone else knew he was selling except me.”
“I didn’t. Hey.” I grabbed her hand. “You’re one of the smartest kids at Empire High. Everyone else goes there because their parents pay the exorbitant tuition. You’re there because you’re smarter than everyone else. And you’re going to go farther than everyone else too. We both are.”
She sighed. “Well, I might be book-smart. But not relationship-smart. I asked Cupcake to stop selling. That’s why he dumped me. Apparently money and cocaine are more important to him than I am.” She shook her head, but the sadness was gone from her voice. The fiery Kennedy I knew was back. “Puta mierda.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing worth repeating. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was just so mad. And then embarrassed. And then I couldn’t even think about it without crying.” She looked determined not to cry again.
“Can I tell you something if you promise not to get mad?” I asked.
She nodded.
“I’ve always hated Cupcake.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I kinda figured you hadn’t forgiven him for nailing you in the face with a dodgeball.”
“I mean…who does something like that?”
“Cupcake. Ugh. And what a gross nickname.”
“Right?! Seriously, if that kid went to my school back home, he would have been made fun of so hard.”
“I’m just pissed that I already wasted money on a homecoming dress.”
I looked over at the beautiful purple dress hanging in her closet. “I don’t think that should go to waste,” I said.
“Homecoming is this Saturday. I won’t find a date before then.”
“Me either. Which is why we’re going together. We’ll make everyone there so jealous that they didn’t think to go with a friend instead.”
She suddenly looked sad again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask you about what’s going on with Matt. Did you talk to him after lunch?”
“No. All the Untouchables kind of disappeared from school after that.” I tried not to think about the fact that it bothered me that Matt hadn’t reached out. I didn’t blame him for running after James. But it was like he’d completely forgotten that the news would affect me too. “But I’m definitely not going to homecoming with him after that. And Felix isn’t talking to me. So…will you go with me?” I’d gone from two dates to none. And I was actually a little relieved. A girls’ night sounded so much better.
“It’s a date,” she said with a laugh. “Do you know what you’re going to wear?”
I had dozens of appropriate dresses now. But they weren’t me. There was only one dress that I wanted to wear. The blue one my mom used to wear on special occasions when I was growing up. I just hoped it would fit me as well as it had fit my mom. I’d never tried it on before. “Mhm. I already have the perfect dress picked out.”
“I should probably get some homework done. I’ve gotten a little behind over the weekend.”
I climbed off her bed. “Will you tell your mom?” I asked before I could stop myself.
Mrs. Alcaraz would know what to do. And I knew Kennedy would feel better once it was off her chest.
She nodded. “But don’t tell anyone else, okay?”
“I won’t.” Even though all I wanted to do was storm over to Cupcake’s and kick him right in the nuts. Or ask Mr. Pruitt to sic his lawyers on him. But what good would that do? Kennedy couldn’t get her virginity back. She couldn’t undo that night. And Cupcake would always be an asshole. I’d stay silent because she asked me to. But I really hoped she wouldn’t stay silent.
I closed the door behind me. Matt had stopped me from trying to have sex with him when I’d accidentally eaten tons of pot sugarcakes. He promised to be all my firsts. But I was so grateful that he hadn’t taken that one too. I was done with him. Done with the Untouchables. Done with all the boys at Empire High.
Chapter 20
Monday
“Princess, how was school today?” Mr. Pruitt asked Isabella.
Of course he calls her princess.
“Superb, Daddy. Is it okay if I go out on the town after dinner? I need to pick up my homecoming dress.”