Don’t Let Me Go

A second later they heard footsteps trotting down the stairs, and Jesse appeared, snapping his jacket as he jogged along the hall. His scalp was shiny, like he’d just shaved it, and his beard looked freshly trimmed.

 

“I’m ready,” he said.

 

“For what?” Rayleen asked.

 

Now she sounded a little defensive. And, also, Grace noticed she ran her fingers through her hair to fluff it up and straighten it out, which seemed weird. It did look slightly on the uncombed side, which was unlike Rayleen, but if she didn’t mind Grace seeing it that way, and she didn’t like Jesse anyway, why fix it now?

 

“I’m going along,” Jesse said.

 

“Since when?”

 

“It’s to help Billy,” Grace butted in to say. “It’s for morale support for Billy.”

 

“Why aren’t we moral support for Billy?” Rayleen asked. “I thought that’s why he went with us.”

 

Jesse walked up and stood close, maybe too close for Rayleen’s tastes, because she took a step backward.

 

“But that doesn’t help if he can’t make it all the way. Then you have to stay with Grace all the way to her school, and he comes home alone, and there’s no one to make sure he doesn’t get himself into some disaster like last time.”

 

Silence in the hallway. Grace wondered if Rayleen knew what disaster Billy had got into last time, which, if so, would still only make one of them who knew, at least so far.

 

“What happened last time?” Rayleen asked.

 

“You didn’t know?”

 

Billy’s voice. “I didn’t exactly tell them.”

 

Billy stepped out into the hallway. He was wearing a nice black sweatshirt and woven sandals and jeans, and looked the way people do when they’re planning on relaxing, which Grace figured was at least worth trying for in Billy’s case.

 

“Billy,” Rayleen said, like she was his mother and he was misbehaving. “Why didn’t you tell me something happened last time? What happened?”

 

“One. Because it was humiliating and I didn’t want to talk about it. Two. I got locked out because I didn’t know they’d put a lock on the front door since I first moved in. So Jesse’s going to go with us and then walk me home. That’s OK, isn’t it?”

 

“Sure, whatever,” Rayleen said. “Let’s just go.”

 

So they did. But everything felt tense, and nobody said anything for blocks, except for Jesse, who was walking a couple of steps behind them with Billy, saying quiet things to Billy to calm him down, like the kinds of things people in Western movies say to their horses when they want them not to be so skittish, so nobody gets thrown.

 

Grace kept looking back, and Billy kept being back there, which was sort of a miracle all in itself.

 

“Jesse is magic,” Grace whispered, being sure Rayleen wouldn’t hear.

 

“What did you say?” Rayleen muttered, still sounding asleep.

 

“Nothing.”

 

Grace turned again to see Jesse walking with one hand at the base of Billy’s neck in the back. Like he was giving him a little mini-massage. It was interesting to watch, so Grace walked backwards a few steps and watched them.

 

“Loosen,” she heard Jesse say. “Try to loosen up all through here.” Then he used both his hands on Billy’s shoulders, feeling and rubbing. “And all through here. Try to let all that go. OK, that’s good, but I think you forgot to breathe again.”

 

Billy breathed in so hard Grace could hear the air going in.

 

“Better,” Jesse said, “but if you can manage it, try for steadier. Not so feast and famine.”

 

Whatever that means, Grace thought. Just what she needed was two people who talked like Billy, so you couldn’t understand a word they said.

 

She looked past them to see that they were three blocks away from home already.

 

“Billy!” she squealed. “You came so far!”

 

Billy’s eyes shot open wide, and he tried to turn his head, but Jesse used his hand at the back of Billy’s head to keep him turned forward.

 

“No,” Jesse said, “don’t look back. It’s like looking down when you’re on a tightrope. Take another step forward. Keep concentrating on the step you’re about to take. Doesn’t matter what’s ahead or behind. Let it be all about the step you’re on now.”

 

Rayleen put a hand on Grace’s shoulder and turned her back around.

 

“They’re doing fine,” Rayleen said, “and besides, I don’t want you to trip.”

 

So Grace just looked forward and walked forward, but she kept her ears tuned to Billy and Jesse in back of them. She listened to everything Jesse said, but never spoke another word to them, because she didn’t want to be the one who made Billy look back and get scared.

 

What seemed like no more than two minutes later, Grace looked up and saw the school. They were on the same block as her school! She stopped and whipped around, and they were still back there. Billy was still back there!

 

“Billy, you did it!” she screamed. “You walked to my school!”

 

Grace ran to him and hugged him around the waist.

 

“I have to go home now,” he said in a hoarse whisper, like he’d gotten laryngitis and lost his voice just since they’d started walking.

 

“You did so good, though!”

 

Grace felt Billy kiss the top of her head. Then he turned and ran. Flat-out ran. Grace had no idea Billy could run so fast. Must have been all that dancing he’d done for most of his life.

 

Jesse raised his hand in a little wave. “Sorry I can’t wait and walk back with you, Rayleen.” Then he took off after Billy.

 

“Jesse, you’re magic!” Grace called after him.

 

She wasn’t sure whether he’d heard her or not. But, after it was way too late to take it back and not say it, Grace realized that Rayleen had definitely heard.

 

Grace stood a moment, extra close to Rayleen, and watched them run.

 

Then she said, “I think I finally really believe it now. That Billy’s coming to my school to watch me dance. It’s like I thought I believed it before, only now I really do, and now I know that before I sort of really didn’t, even though I thought I did. Do you really not like him? Because everybody else thinks he’s great.”

 

“Are you kidding? I love Billy.” Then, before Grace could even straighten out Rayleen’s thinking, she said, “Oh. Jesse.”

 

“I don’t mean it to be getting all up in your business. I just wondered. Because it seems like it would be hard not to like him.”

 

Rayleen sighed. Grace waited.

 

“He seems like a nice enough guy,” she said. “I just don’t want to be fixed up with anybody. Not even somebody nice.”

 

“I wasn’t,” Grace shouted, stepping back and throwing both hands out, defensively, like a shield.

 

“I know,” Rayleen said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so grouchy about it the other day. I apologize.”

 

“Yeah, you were really grouchy,” Grace said.

 

“Have you ever done anything wrong?”

 

“Um. Yeah. Lots.”

 

“Wouldn’t you want someone to accept your apology?”

 

“Yeah. Got it. OK. I accept your apology. It hurt my feelings, though.”

 

Rayleen reached down and picked Grace up by her underarms for a hug, so that they were the same height, except that Grace’s feet dangled and didn’t touch the ground.

 

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,” she said. Then she kissed Grace on the cheek and set her down. “Have a good day at school.”

 

Then Grace had to wipe a couple of stray tears out of her eyes, quick, before anyone from school could see.