Don’t Let Me Go

“Cats don’t like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,” Grace told Mr. Lafferty the Girl Cat.

 

It didn’t seem to make much difference, though, because this particular cat was chewing and swallowing a piece of peanut butter and jelly sandwich all the time Grace was pointing that out.

 

“Rayleen is in a really sucky mood,” she said, this time to Billy.

 

“Yeah, I noticed that,” he said. “What’s up with that?”

 

“Not sure. I think it has something to do with Jesse. I don’t think she likes him back.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I just thought it would be…I mean, he likes her, and he’s nice…and then at least one of you guys wouldn’t have to be alone. You know. Like, one down, the rest of you to go.”

 

“I think it takes more than that for two people to get together.”

 

“What does it take?”

 

“I haven’t the vaguest idea. I don’t think anyone does. If you ever figure that out, write a book about it. You’ll be rich and famous overnight.”

 

“You’re so weird, Billy.”

 

“Hey. Something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about. Here, hand me the cat, OK? This will be easier to say if I’m holding the cat.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know. She just calms me down.”

 

“OK, whatever.”

 

Grace passed Mr. Lafferty the Girl Cat to Billy, noticing that the cat was still trying to lick the last of the peanut butter off the roof of her mouth.

 

Billy pulled a big breath, so loudly that Grace could hear it.

 

“Tomorrow…when you go to school…”

 

“Tomorrow’s Sunday.”

 

“Oh. Right. Monday, when you go to school…I thought I might try walking just a little tiny bit of the way with you and Rayleen.”

 

Grace opened her mouth to shriek, but Billy held up a hand to stop her. And he seemed firm about it. Much more than normal Billy-firm. He didn’t want to hear any feedback.

 

“Don’t say anything,” he said, “because if you get all excited about this, then I’ll just get more scared.”

 

Grace held still, against all of her impulses, for what seemed like an impossible length of time. Then, when she spoke, she was smart enough to whisper. Really whisper.

 

“Does this mean you’re coming to my school?”

 

“One thing at a time, baby girl. One thing at a time.”

 

She threw herself at him, causing the cat to scoot away, and hugged him tightly around his neck.

 

“I knew you would,” she whispered, even more reverently. “I knew you would say you couldn’t, and it would really seem like you couldn’t, but then when it came right down to it, I knew you would.”

 

“I only said I was going to walk part of the way to school with you on Monday.”

 

“Right,” Grace said, sitting back on her heels. “Got it.”

 

“And you can’t push me, and you can’t judge me. Because, the first day, I might not get much farther than the front stairs.”

 

Grace could feel her own eyebrows scoot up.

 

“You’re gonna do it every day?”

 

“Well,” Billy said, and then paused for a weirdly long time. “I have to practice.”

 

“Is that why you came to Rayleen’s today? To practice?”

 

“Well. Yeah. Partly. That and the fact that I didn’t want the new neighbor guy to think I was a complete and utter freak.”

 

“What’s so special about Jesse? What about the rest of us? What about what we think?”

 

“Oh, please. It’s way too late for you guys. You already know I’m a complete and utter freak.”

 

“That’s true,” Grace said. Then, after she’d thought the comment over, “No offense.”

 

“None taken,” Billy said.