“Is it worth the risk?”
“Isn’t it always worth the risk?”
The more she touched me, the more I wanted to touch her back. I wrapped my hands around her wrists flipping us around so she was now against the wall with her hands above her head. “I have rules.” I leaned in closer, lightly brushing my lips against her neck. God, she smelled good, like peaches and my next sin. “You can’t break these rules, either.” My tongue rolled from my mouth and circled against her neck before I gently sucked her skin.
She shivered at my touch. “What are they?”
“Rule one,” I whispered, my mouth moving across her collarbone. “You never stay the night.”
“Check.”
“Rule number two,” I said, dropping her left arm to the side. Taking my hand to the bottom of her blouse, I slowly raised it up and massaged her skin. “You never develop feelings.”
“That’s easy enough,” she replied, her breaths uneven as I teased at the top button on her jeans. “I don’t believe in feelings anymore.”
I didn’t know why, but that made me sad for her. I, too, didn’t believe in falling for people, but that was my norm. Grace seemed the type to believe in something bigger than love, so the fact that her belief was completely gone was a bit surprising.
Maybe we had more in common than I thought.
“Rule number three…we don’t talk about my life.”
“Like ever?”
“Never.”
“Okay.”
“And lastly, rule number four…” My mouth brushed against hers, and I slid my tongue slowly across her bottom lip. “If your favorite pair of panties get ripped, don’t expect me to replace them.”
Her cheeks reddened. She blushed so easily, and my new mission was to make her blush throughout the whole evening.
Our lips stayed lightly pressed against one another, and I breathed her in as she rested her left hand against my chest. “I have a rule, too,” she told me.
I cocked an eyebrow. “And it is?”
“You don’t sleep with anyone else while we’re sleeping together.” She looked up and locked eyes with me. “I just need to be the only one for the time being. I can’t do this if you’re doing it with someone else.”
“You want my loyalty?”
“Yes.”
It wasn’t just a want, but a need. The betrayal in Grace’s life recently was so overwhelming that her heart needed something that was hers, even if only for a few moments in time. She needed me to only place my lips to hers, to only slide between her thighs, to only make her moan.
“Here’s the thing,” I started, staring down at the band on my arm. “I use sex to forget. I use it to keep me from using…other things. So, if it came down to me needing you at a moment’s notice…”
“I’ll be here,” she promised. “I won’t leave you alone.”
My finger trailed down her neck, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was beautiful, that was a given, but she was also broken, just like me. My broken pieces stayed shattered, and hers intermixed with them.
We were just two broken people, uninterested in being fixed.
“Do something for me?” I said softly against her neck, kissing her lightly, slowly, breathing her in.
“What’s that?”
“Go into my room and take off your pants.”
She swallowed hard, biting her bottom lip. “Right now?” she asked, a bit unsure.
“Yes.” I nodded. “Right now.”
She walked past me and began to unbutton her blouse on the way to my bedroom. I couldn’t help but smile at her, too, at her uncertainty, at her shyness, at her nerves.
It was always amusing when a good girl tried to be bad.
“And Gracelyn Mae?”
“Yes?”
“You might want to toss a prayer up to that god of yours and ask for his forgiveness.”
She turned on her heels and gave me those wide doe eyes. “Why’s that?”
My eyes locked on her pink bra, cupping her perfect breasts, more than enough to keep my hands full. I pulled my shirt over my head, walked in her direction and said, “Because you’re about to sin tonight.”
19
Grace
My nerves were strung tight, and even though I wanted to do this—I wanted Jackson’s body pressed against mine—everything I’d ever been taught was racing through my mind, telling me of the flaws in the activities I was about to partake in.
You’re still legally married.
He’s dangerous.
You are not this girl.
You’re a good girl.
I silenced the voices in my head as best I could, because this good girl was tired of being tame. For once in my life, I wanted to roam in the wild and see what it felt like to be uncensored.
“You okay?” he asked.
I nodded slowly. “I’m okay.”
“Good.” He proceeded to walk toward me, slowly, with no missteps. “Now sit down on the edge of my bed.” I did as he said, and he kneeled in front of me. “You’re beautiful,” he told me, and it made my skin tingle. “Do you know that, Grace? Do you know that you’re beautiful?”
I couldn’t reply. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been called such a thing, and even though I wanted to believe it, it was almost impossible to do so.
After enduring a betrayal as I have, you couldn’t help but doubt every bit of your worth, but it seemed that night, Jackson was prepared to remind me with every single touch.
He placed his hands on my bare legs and gently kissed my inner thigh before looking up at my face. “You’re nervous.”
“Yes.”
“You want me to stop?” he asked.
“No.”
His fingers rolled against my panties, and he began circling his thumb against my clit, making me shut my eyes. I lay back, falling against the mattress, and my fingers clenched the bedsheets. My heart began to race faster than I’d known possible as he slowly pulled my underwear down, allowing his warm breaths to hit me. I arched my hips toward him, but he teased me slowly.
“Patience, princess,” he whispered, kissing my inner thigh. His hands wrapped around my ankles and spread them apart. “We have all night.”
Then, with no haste, with such perfected timing, he slid his lips against my core, tasting me, sucking me, sliding his tongue slowly inside, pulling his mouth away only to bring it back seconds later.
I didn’t know it could feel like…
I didn’t know it could be so…
Ohmygosh.
“Ja…” I exhaled, grinding my hips against his mouth as he began to destroy me in the best possible way. The more I moaned, the faster his tongue slid inside. Deeper…deeper… “Yes…” My breaths were uneven as his hands wrapped tightly around my thighs and his mouth explored me even more, my hands tangling in his hair and gently pushing his head farther down.
I’d never felt anything like that…had never known fingers and tongues could create such—
“Jesus!” I gasped as he slammed his tongue deep inside, faster and faster, pumping it in and out as I began to lose my grip on reality.
“No.” He smirked. “Quite the opposite, actually.”
The way he controlled every shake of my body with only his tongue…the way he pinned me down as my legs twisted and turned…the way I lost myself, and he tasted each drop—it was almost too much.
He moaned against me as if he was enjoying the act as much as I was. The more I wiggled, the more he explored, deeper and deeper, making me fall apart against his tongue.
As he pulled away, my legs trembled, and my chest rose and fell rapidly as I tried to gather myself.
“That was…that was…yeah.” I heavily breathed out. “That was…holy crap.”
He smirked as my body dripped in sweat. As he rose up from the floor, he began to unzip his jeans then slid out of them, removing his boxers next.
My eyes fell to his hardness as he licked his fingers clean, tasting me.
I knew it was foolish, but I couldn’t stop staring. I felt my cheeks heating from my desires, from my nerves, from my wants and needs, which, at the moment, seemed to be the same thing. I wanted and needed him so much.