Chapter 8
LATER THAT NIGHT, WHEN I WAS HALF ASLEEP, I HEARD the familiar click of my door unlocking. I rose onto my elbow, pushing the mess of hair out of my face. The fine shiver tiptoeing down my spine told me it was Seth. Locks didn’t stand a chance against him. He either melted them or used the element of air to unlatch them from the other side.
He stopped just inside the doorway. His eyes were a soft, tawny glow in the dark.
Surprised to see him, it took me a few moments to say anything. “You’re not supposed to be in my dorm this late, Seth.”
“Has that ever stopped me before?” He sat on the edge of my bed and I could feel his gaze on me. “You’ve been in a much better mood this evening.”
“And here I thought I was getting better at blocking you.”
“You are. You did really well at practice today.”
“Is that why you’re here?” I heard him kick off his shoes. “Because I’m less likely to throw food at you right now?”
“Maybe.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“I was beginning to think you found your own bed more appealing.”
“You missed me.”
I shrugged. “Seth, about Jackson—”
“I’ve already told you. I didn’t have anything to do with that. And why would I do such a bad, bad thing?”
“I don’t know why. Maybe because you’re psychotic?”
Seth laughed. “‘Psychotic’ is such an extreme term. That would suggest I don’t feel guilty about my actions.”
I arched a brow. “My point exactly.”
When he pulled back the covers, I scooted over and watched him slide his legs under them. He eased onto his side, facing me. “You do realize I have a guard detail. They’ll know you’re in here.”
“I passed Linard on my way in.” He brushed back a stand of hair that had fallen across my cheek, tucking it behind my ear. His hand lingered. “He told me I was breaking the rules. I told him to bite me.”
“And what did he say to that?”
Seth’s hand dropped to my shoulder, covering the thin strap of my tank top. The cord inside me started to hum softly. “He didn’t look too happy. Said he was going to report me to Marcus.”
My heart dropped a little. There was no doubt in my mind that meant Aiden would hear about this; Aiden had to be aware of Seth’s sleeping habits. Knots formed in my stomach as I stared at Seth. I’m not with Aiden. I’m not with Aiden. I’m not doing anything wrong. Tension still dug into my muscles.
“Not that Marcus can really do anything about it.” He leaned over, gently guiding me down so that I was lying on my back. His fingers glided under the strap, and I shivered as his rough knuckles brushed over my collarbone. “He’s just the Dean.”
“And my uncle,” I pointed out. “I doubt he likes the idea of boys sleeping in my bed.”
“Hmm, but I’m not just any boy.” He tipped his head down. His hair fell forward, shielding his face. “I’m the Apollyon.”
My chest rose sharply. “The rules… still apply to you and me.”
“Ah, I remember this girl who couldn’t follow a simple rule even if her life depended on it.” He angled his head, which caused his nose to brush mine. “And I think what we’re doing, right now, is the least shocking rule you’ve broken.”
I flushed as I put my hands on his chest, stopping him from overcoming that last inch or two that separated us. “People change,” I said lamely.
“Some people do.” He placed his arm beside my head, supporting himself.
The cord was really starting to go crazy, demanding that I pay attention to it. My toes curled. “Did you come here to talk about the rules I’ve broken or what?”
“No. I actually had a reason for coming.”
“And that is?” I shifted uncomfortably, trying to ignore the way my skin, especially the palms of my hands, started to tingle. Thank the gods he had a shirt on.
“Give me a second.”
I frowned. “Why do—”
Seth dipped his head, brushing his lips over mine, and being caught between wanting to clamp my mouth shut and wanting to open for him was a frustrating feeling. I ached to be near him as equally as I did to be away from him.
“That’s… that’s why you came here?” I asked when he lifted his head.
“It wasn’t the main reason.”
“Then why are you—” His mouth cut my words off, and the kiss deepened, stealing my protests. The cord tightened as his hand slipped down my arm, over my stomach and under the hem of my shirt.
He smiled against my lips. “I have to travel with Lucian over winter break. I won’t return until the end of February”
“What?” The cord’s buzzing was getting excessive, making it hard to concentrate. I was kind of surprised that he’d leave so close to my eighteenth birthday, since I’d figured he’d camp inside my room in the weeks leading up to my Awakening. “Where are you going?”
“To the New York Covenant,” he answered, sliding his other hand into my hair. “There have been some problems that demand the Council’s attention.”
Some of the fuzziness receded. “I want to go with you. My father is—”
“No, you can’t go. It’s not safe for you there.”
“I don’t care. I want to go. I have to see my father.” By the look on Seth’s face, I could tell I wasn’t gaining any ground. “You’ll be there. Nothing will happen. And I’d be less safe here without you.” The last words physically hurt to say, but I threw pride under the bus. Seeing my father was that important.
Seth’s lips tipped up, enjoying that little ego stroke. “Marcus has assured Lucian that you’ll be well protected. Your darling pure-blood would slit his wrists before he let anything happen to you.”
I gaped.
“What?” He moved his hand up until it rested under my rib cage. “It’s the truth. And Leon and Linard will be here, watching over you. You’ll be fine.”
I wasn’t scared of being left behind. I just wanted to see my father. “Seth, I have to go.”
He kissed my lower lip, which had scarred just a little. “No, you don’t. And you’re not going. Not even I could get Lucian to agree to take you back to that hellhole.”
My mind raced frantically, trying to find a way to convince him.
“And don’t even think about sneaking off, because everyone is expecting you to do that. I don’t think I’ll be able to sense much from you when we’re that far apart, but from the moment I leave, someone will be watching you. So don’t even think it. I’m serious.”
“I don’t need a damn babysitter.”
“Yes, you do.” His lips found my chin next. “The girl who can’t follow rules to save her own life is still inside you.”
“You’re an a*shole.”
“Been called worse by you, so I’ll take that as a compliment.” He grinned even though I knew he felt the fury rising in me.
“When do you leave?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
“I’m leaving Sunday night, so you’re completely stuck with me until then.” He kissed the hollow of my throat.
“Great,” I muttered. Classes would be suspended on Wednesday. Almost all the pures left for super-posh vacations, which meant most of the Guards would be gone, protecting them. Some of the halfs would be out of here—anyone who still kept in contact with a mortal parent or was on good terms with a pure-blood one. There was still a chance I could sneak out, but how in the hell would I get to New York? I didn’t even have a driver’s license, but that was the least of my problems.
I’d have to get to New York without getting killed in the process.
Seth kissed me again and I debated pulling his hair out by the fistful while the bond between us tried its best to choke the living crap out of me.
“Why do you have to go, anyway?” I asked when he took a breather. I needed something—anything—to focus on that would take the edge off the cord that was tightening and tightening.
He twined strands of my hair around his fingers. “There’s a problem with the… servants in the Catskills.”
“What?” Dread blossomed in my stomach, growing as quickly as a weed. “What do you mean?”
“Some of them disappeared after the attack. Their bodies weren’t found and no daimons escaped.” Another quick, deep kiss before he spoke again. “And something appears to be wrong with the elixir.”
“Do you know anything about the ones who disappeared?” I caught his wrist before the hand crept any higher under my shirt.
“I don’t believe your father is among the missing, but as soon as I can confirm that I’ll let you know.” He lowered himself down, and since I’d grabbed his wrist, there was nothing to stop him. “I don’t want to talk anymore. I’m going to be gone for weeks.”
His weight made the cord extremely happy, and I struggled to pay attention. “Seth, this… this is important. What happened with the elixir?”
He sighed. “I don’t know. It doesn’t appear to be working as strongly.”
“As strongly?”
“Yeah, the halfs… are becoming self-aware. Kind of like the computers in Terminator.”
Odd comparison, but I got what he meant. And whoa—that was some serious stuff right there. The elixir was a mix of herbs and chemicals that worked to keep a half-blood compliant and dazed. Without it, I doubted the halfs in servitude would be thrilled with their lot in life. “It seems to be working here.”
“That’s the thing. It’s working everywhere but there. The Council wants us there to make sure nothing happens in New York, especially after the attack.”
“But why do you have to go?”
“I don’t know, Alex. Can we talk about this later?” He looked down at me, eyes glowing. “There are other things I want to do.”
The cord buzzed its approval. “But—”
Seth kissed me again and the hand against my stomach pressed down. I let go of his wrist, intending on pushing him off, but then I was gripping his shirt. The air around us seemed to crackle. There was something building inside me, a warning that the damn bond was up to no good.
I felt the cord rushing to the surface before I actually opened my eyes. Amber and blue lights cast strange shadows across the wall of my bedroom. I was transfixed by them for a moment. It was so bizarre that we were responsible for them. That they even came from within us.
It freaked me out a little.
But Seth’s free hand was everywhere, skimming down my arm, over my leg, and our cords were spiraling together, connecting us. My fingers clenched his shirt and I was pulling him down one second, then pushing him away the next.
Suddenly, the skin under his palm burned. Tiny pricks of pain stole my breath. I felt the rushing building in my stomach, akasha passing through the cords. A brief flicker of sanity reminded me of what had happened the last time we’d held on. Us, moving together on the bed, and there were fewer clothes to be removed this time.
Panic dug its claws deep in me. I wasn’t ready for this—with Seth. Letting go of his shirt, I pushed him hard enough that I was able to wiggle out from underneath him, breaking the connection. I scrambled onto my knees, clutching my stomach. “That… hurt.”
Seth looked dazed. “Sorry, it kind of just happened.”
Hands shaking, I pulled my shirt up far enough to see what I suspected was going to be there. Centered above my navel, right under my rib cage, was a glowing mark that looked like two check marks joined at the top.
“The power of the gods mark,” Seth whispered, sitting up. “Damn Alex, that’s a big one. Tomorrow, we should try blowing something up. I know you completely sucked at it when you did it the first time, but I bet it would work now.”
I couldn’t believe how quickly he went from wanting to get it on to wanting to blow something up. Seth seemed more excited about the rune than the other thing. Hell, his eyes had that crazy look again.
He placed his hands around the mark reverently. “There are four marks that appear first: courage, strength, power, and invincibility. But the power one, that’s akasha. See how it’s placed here?” He went to touch the mark, but I scooted back. He frowned. “Anyway, that’s where you pull power from.”
It was also where the cord slumbered when it wasn’t trying to turn me into one giant, raging hormone. “What happens when you get the fourth mark?”
Seth ran a hand through his hair, tugging it back from his face. Moonlight cut through the blinds, slicing across his face. “I don’t know. Mine came all at once, but they appeared in that order: on both of my palms, my stomach, and then on the back of my neck. Then everywhere else.”
My mouth suddenly felt dry. I dropped my shirt and backed up to the edge of the bed. “Do you think I’ll Awaken early if the fourth one appears?”
He lifted his eyes. “I don’t know, but would it be such a bad thing?”
Dizziness swept through me. “Maybe we should stop… touching or whatever until I turn eighteen.”
“What?”
“Seth, I can’t Awaken ahead of schedule.”
He shook his head. “I don’t understand, Alex. Things will be so much better once you Awaken. You wouldn’t have to worry about Telly or the furies. Hell, the gods won’t even be able to touch us. How is that not a good thing?”
It wasn’t a good thing, because once I Awakened, there was a strong chance I’d lose myself in the process. Seth had warned me long ago that it would be like two halves coming together, that whatever he wanted would color my choices and decisions. I’d have no control over myself or my future.
And Aiden had been right that day in the sensory deprivation chamber. It terrified me.
“Alex.” Seth took my hand carefully, gently. “You Awakening now would be the best thing for… us. We could even try it. See if we can get the fourth mark to appear. Maybe nothing will happen after that. Maybe you’ll Awaken.”
I pulled my hand free. The eagerness in his voice creeped me out. “Are… are you doing this on purpose, Seth?”
“Doing what?”
“Trying to get me to Awaken early by touching me or whatever?”
“I’m touching you because I enjoy it.” Then he reached for me again, but I knocked his hand away. “What is your deal?” he asked.
“I swear to the gods, Seth—if you are doing this on purpose I will destroy you.”
Seth’s brows furrowed. “Don’t you think you’re being a tad bit melodramatic here?”
“I don’t know.” And I really didn’t. My palms tingled, my stomach burned, and the cord was finally settling down. “You haven’t done anything with me except training in weeks and then you show up tonight, all touchy and feely. Then this happens?”
“I was all touchy and feely because I’m going to be gone for weeks.” Seth slid off the bed, standing in one fluid motion. “And I wasn’t really avoiding you. I was just giving you some space.”
“Then why did you come here tonight?”
“Whatever the reason was, clearly it was a mistake.” He bent, grabbing his shoes. “Apparently, I’m just here to use you for my nefarious plans.”
I climbed off the bed, hugging my elbows. Was I being paranoid? “What are you doing?”
“What does it look like? I don’t want to be where I’m not wanted.”
An uncomfortable feeling started to twist my insides. “So why did you come here if it… wasn’t because of that?”
His head snapped up, eyes a furious shade of ocher. Like a lion that’d been cornered, caught between wanting to run and attack. “I missed you, Alex. That’s why. And I’m going to miss you. Did that ever cross your mind?”
Oh, oh gods. Guilt brought a hot flush to my face. That hadn’t even crossed my mind. I felt like the worst kind of bitch.
A moment passed and something flared in his eyes. “It’s Aiden, isn’t it?”
My heart tripped over itself. “What?”
“It’s always about Aiden.” He laughed, but there was no humor there.
This wasn’t about Aiden—had nothing to do with him. It was about Seth and me, but before I could even say a word, Seth looked away.
“I guess I’ll see you when I get back.” He started toward the doorway. “Just… just be careful.”
“Crap,” I muttered. I darted around the bed, blocking the door. “Seth—”
“Get out of the way, Alex.”
His words irked me, but I took a deep breath. “Look, this whole marking and Awakening thing freaks me out. You know that, but… but I shouldn’t have accused you.”
There was no change in his expression. “No, you shouldn’t have.”
“And this has nothing to do with Aiden.” It didn’t, or at least that’s what I kept telling myself as I grabbed his free hand, and he flinched. “I’m sorry, Seth.”
He stared behind me, lips thin.
“I really am sorry.” I let go of his hand and placed my head against his chest. Carefully, I wrapped my arms around him. “I just don’t want to become someone else.”
Seth inhaled sharply. “Alex…”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Bond or no bond, I did care about him. He was important to me and maybe there was more to how I felt about him than what the bond was making me feel. Maybe it was just that I cared for him like I’d cared for Caleb. Either way, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
He dropped his shoes and swept his arms around me. “You drive me crazy.”
“I know.” I smiled. “The feeling is mutual.”
He laughed and then brushed his lips over my forehead. “Come on.” He started pulling me back to the bed.
I stalled a little. Not hurting his feelings did not equal me ending up with a mark on the back of my neck.
Seth dropped down, tugging me forward. “To sleep, Alex. Nothing more… unless…” His gaze dropped to my tank top. “You know, you should wear that more often. It leaves very little to the imagination, which is something I like.”
Flushing to the roots of my hair, I quickly climbed over him and pulled the covers up to my chin. Seth laughed as he lay down. He threw an arm around my waist, snuggling close. His breathing was steady. Nothing like mine, which seemed to be racing my heartbeat. And he was smiling easily, as if we hadn’t just argued.
“You’re such a perv,” I said for the hundredth time.
“You’ve called me worse.”
And I had a feeling I probably would in the future, too.