Chapter 34
I COULDN’T HAVE HEARD HIM RIGHT. THERE WAS NO way. “What?”
Apollo turned back to the window. “You would have to kill him, Alexandria. As an Apollyon, you will be able to.”
The idea of killing Seth horrified and sickened me. There was no way I could do that. I ran my hand over my face, feeling nauseous. “I can’t do that.”
“You can’t?” Lea stared, her eyes glistening in the light. “He killed my sister, Alex! He killed those Council members.”
“I know, but it’s… it’s not his fault. Lucian has warped his mind.” And he’d hesitated before he took out the Council. I’d seen that. For a moment, the Seth I knew didn’t want to do it, but afterward… he’d looked thrilled. “It wasn’t his fault.”
And it sounded like I was trying to convince myself.
Lea’s lips thinned. “That doesn’t make what he did okay.”
“I know that, but…” But I couldn’t kill Seth. I sat in the chair heavily, staring at the remains of Spider-man. “There has to be another way.”
“I know a part of you cares for him,” Apollo said quietly. “You were… built to feel that way. A part of him is you and vice versa, but it is the only way.”
I met his eyes for a long second, and then Apollo looked away. A shadow passed over his face. A strange, almost-bad taste sprang up in the back of my mouth. “Is there another way, Apollo?”
“Does it matter?” Lea slammed her hands down on the table, causing me to jump. “He needs to die, Alex.”
I flinched.
“Lea,” Marcus said gently.
“No! I’m not going to shut up about this!” She shot to her feet, coming alive. “I know it doesn’t seem fair, Alex. But Seth killed those people—my sister. And that wasn’t fair.”
My throat closed up. Lea had a point. There was no arguing that, but she hadn’t seen what I’d seen… and she didn’t know Seth. Then again, maybe I didn’t even know him.
“And it sucks,” Lea continued. Her hands balled into fists that shook. “I even thought Seth was hot, but that was up until he incinerated my sister. You like him. That’s great. You’re a part of him. Awesome. But he killed people, Alex.”
“I understand that, Lea.” I looked around the room, my gaze settling on Aiden. “Everyone keeps saying there’s hope. Maybe we can save him. And Artemis mentioned something about power going both ways. Maybe there is something to that.”
Pain flickered in his silver eyes, and then I remembered his words and my own realization. Sometimes you have to know when to let hope go.
She sucked in a sharp breath as she clearly struggled to rein her anger and sorrow back in. “You loved your mom, right? You loved her even after she became a daimon.”
“Lea,” Aiden cut in sharply.
“But you knew she needed to… needed to be stopped,” she rushed on before Aiden could shut her up. “You loved her, but you did the right thing. How is this any different?”
I recoiled from the table. Her words were like a punch in the stomach, because they were true. How was this any different? I had done the right thing with my mom, so why was it so hard for me to understand why this needed to be done now?
“I think that’s enough for today,” Marcus interjected.
Lea stood her ground for a few more seconds, but then stormed out of the room. Part of me wanted to go after her and try to explain myself, but I had enough common sense to know that wouldn’t be wise.
“She’s in a dark place right now,” Marcus said. “She hurts. Maybe later she’ll understand that this is hard for you, also.”
“It’s not as hard as it is for her.” I tucked my hair back. “I just can’t… the idea of killing him makes me sick. There has to be another way.”
Apollo glided toward me. “All of this… can wait. Today is your birthday, your Awakening.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know what’s going on with that.” I stared at the runes on my palms. They glowed faintly. Nothing had changed about them. “I feel the same. Nothing’s happened.”
“When were you born?” Apollo asked.
“Uh, March the fourth.”
He arched a brow. “What time, Alexandria? What was the time of your birth?”
I pursed my lips. “I don’t know.”
A dubious look crossed Apollo’s face. “You don’t know what time you were born?”
“No. Do people know that?”
“I was born at 6:15am,” Aiden said, trying to hide his grin. “Deacon was born at 12:55pm. Our parents told us.”
My eyes narrowed. “Well, no one told me… or I forgot.”
“Marcus?” Apollo asked.
He shook his head. “I don’t… recall.”
“Well, you obviously have not hit your time of birth yet.” Apollo pushed away from the window. “I think we have had enough serious talk for the day. It is, after all, your birthday. A time for celebration, not making plans for battle.”
I shuddered.
“You will be fine.” Apollo placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. That was the closest offer of comfort I’d probably ever get from Apollo, and that was fine with me. “You do not feel the bond from where we are, so he cannot connect with you. You will be fine.”
I kept watching the clock. When had I been born? I had no clue. It was almost 8:30 in the evening, and not a damn thing had happened. Maybe I was doing something wrong?
“Stop it.” Aiden grabbed my hand, pulling it away from my mouth. “Since when did you become a nail-biter?”
I shrugged. We were sitting on the couch in the small sunroom. Outside the window, it looked like a winter wonderland. Night had already fallen and moonlight reflected off the untouched snow that covered the deck and trees.
“Do you think I’m weak?” I asked.
“What?” He tugged me over so that I was in his lap. “Good gods, you’re one of the strongest people I know.”
I glanced at the closed door, but then figured oh, what the hell. Allowing myself to relax, I rested my cheek against his chest and pulled the rose out from under my shirt. “I don’t feel very strong.”
Aiden settled his arms around me. “Because of what everyone was talking about today?”
I traced my fingers over the edges of the rose. “Lea had a point, you know? I faced down my mom, but I can’t… do that with Seth.”
“Apollo was right.” He placed his chin atop my head. “He’s a part of you. In a way, it’s different than what happened with your mom.”
“It is different. My mom was a daimon and there was no coming back from that.” I sighed, closing my eyes. I saw Seth’s face as I begged him, the indecision in his eyes. “He’s still in there, Aiden. There has to be another way. And I think Apollo knows, but he’s not telling us.”
“Then we’ll talk to Apollo. He mentioned the oracle, and maybe something has changed.” He shifted slightly, and then I felt his lips against my forehead. “But if there isn’t another way…”
“Then I have to face it. I know. I just want to make sure before we decide he needs to be… killed.”
Aiden placed one of his hands over mine. “Maybe we need to go see this new oracle. Who knows? She may be able to tell us something, visions or not.”
“That is if we can get Apollo to tell us about her.”
“We will.”
I smiled up at Aiden. “You’re amazing.”
He grinned. “What makes you say that?”
“You’re easily the most sup—ow!” I hissed as I jerked my hand free from his. “Something stung me.”
He straightened a bit and grabbed my wrist. “Alex, you’re bleeding.”
Tiny pricks of blood covered the top of my left hand, but that wasn’t what I was staring at. There was a blue glyph taking shape, forming something that looked like a music note.
My pulse pounded as I sat up quickly, scanning the room. A clock shaped like an owl showed that the time was 8:47pm. “It’s happening.”
Aiden said something, but another burst of hot, fiery pain stung just below that mark, and blood beaded on my skin. I pulled free from Aiden, my legs shaking as I stood. “Oh my gods…”
“Alex…” He came to his feet, eyes wide. “What can I do?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t—” I gasped as pain shot across my arm. Right in front of my eyes, more blood appeared. Just tiny drops, as if I was under a tattoo needle… “Oh gods, the marks—the marks are like tattoos.” This hadn’t happened with the other marks—the ones Seth had brought out early.
“Gods” Aiden reached for me, but I backed away. He swallowed as my eyes met his. “Alex, it’s going to be okay.”
My heart was racing, double-quick. Pure terror flooded my stomach. The marks would be everywhere once complete, and it was coming so, so fast. Pain spread up my neck, dampening my skin. When it reached my face, I screamed and hit the floor. On my knees, I doubled over, my hands curling in the air around my cheeks.
“Oh… oh man, this is gonna blow.” I struggled for air.
Aiden was beside me immediately, his hands reaching for me but not coming into contact. “Just… take a deep breath, Alex. Breathe with me.”
My laugh came out strangled. “I’m… I’m not having a baby, Aiden. This is—” Sharp bites of pain swept down my back, and I screamed again. I placed my hands on the floor, trying to draw in a deep breath. “Okay… okay, I’m breathing.”
“Good. You’re doing really good.” Aiden inched closer. “You know that, agapi mou. You’re doing great.”
As my back bowed, it didn’t feel that way. I’d rather face down a hundred aether-starved daimons plus a legion of Instructors than this. Tears leaked from my eyes as the marking continued lower. My legs gave out, and with Aiden’s help, I lay down on my stomach.
The door opened, and I heard Marcus. “What the—oh, my gods, is she okay?”
My face hurt too badly to stay like this, but the skin on my back felt raw. “Shit…”
“She’s Awakening,” Aiden said, voice tight.
“But the blood…” I heard Marcus move closer. “Why is she bleeding?”
I eased onto my side. “I’m being tattooed by a giant, mother fu—” Another strangled scream cut off my words as a different type of pain settled in, moving under my skin. It was like lightning racing through my veins, frying every nerve ending.
“This is… wow,” Deacon said, and I pried my eyes open. There was a whole audience by the door.
“Get them out of here!” I screamed, jackknifing on the floor. “Gods, this sucks!”
“Whoa,” I heard Deacon murmur. “This is like watching a chick give birth or something.”
“Oh my gods, I’m going to kill him.” I could feel the beads of blood breaking out under my jeans. “I’m going to punch him—”
“Everyone leave,” Aiden ground out. “This isn’t a godsdamn show.”
“And I think he’s like the father,” Luke said.
Aiden rose to his feet. “Get. Out.”
A few seconds later, the door closed. I thought we were alone until I heard Marcus speak. “She’s my niece. I’m staying.” I heard him come closer. “Is it… is it supposed to be like this?”
“I don’t know.” Aiden’s voice sounded strained, near panicked. “Alex?”
“Okay,” I breathed. “Just…just don’t talk. No one—” It moved up my front, searing my skin. I jerked up, hands shaking.
Holy crap. I couldn’t breathe. Pain was everything. I was going to kill Seth. Not once had he told me that the Awakening would feel like this—like the skin was being filleted from my bones.
My body buckled as another wave of pain rippled through me. I didn’t remember hitting the floor or Aiden pulling me into his lap, but when I opened my eyes, he was there, above me. Skin somewhere, where I wasn’t sure anymore, caught fire. Another mark was being tattooed. I couldn’t hold the cry back, but when it leaked from my lips, it was nothing more than a whimper.
“It’s okay. I’m here.” Aiden smoothed the hair off my damp forehead. “It’s almost over.”
“It is?” I gasped as I stared up at him, squeezing his hand until I felt his bones rub. “How in the f*ck do you know? Have you ever Awakened before? Is there something—” My own hoarse, weak scream interrupted my tirade. “Oh gods, I’m… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to cuss at you. It just…”
“I know. It hurts.” Aiden’s gaze drifted over me. “It can’t be much longer.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as I curled toward Aiden. His soothing gestures helped ease some of the pain. I stiffened as blinding light flashed behind my eyes. A rushing filled my ears, and I could suddenly see the blue cord so strongly in my mind.
It was like a switch had been thrown.
Information rushed me all at once. Thousands of years of the Apollyon memories dumped into me just like Seth had warned they would. Like a digital download, I couldn’t keep up with it. Most of it didn’t make any sense. The words were in a different language—the one Aiden spoke so beautifully. The knowledge of how the Apollyon was born passed onto me, as did the nature of the elements and of the fifth and final one. Images flickered in and out—battles won and long since lost. I saw—I felt—akasha shooting through someone’s veins for the first time, igniting and destroying. Saving—saving all those lives. And the gods—I saw them through the eyes of the past Apollyons. There was a relationship there, strained and full of mutual distrust, but there was… and then I saw her. I knew it was Solaris, felt it in my core.
I saw her turning on a beautiful boy, raising her hands as she whispered words—powerful words. Akasha flared from her, and I knew in an instant that she had turned on the First. Not to kill him, because there was infinite love in her eyes, but to subdue him, to stop him. I grasped at the information, but it moved on through the years until the First… the First.
The cord was snapping, rushing out through space and distance, seeking, always seeking. I couldn’t stop it, didn’t know how to. An amber-colored glow covered everything. In a burst of swirling lights, a hazy face came into focus. The natural arch of his golden eyebrows, the wicked tilt to his lips and slant of his cheekbones were all painfully familiar. I couldn’t tell where he was. He shouldn’t have been there. We were too far apart.
But at the end of the cord, I saw Seth and I wept.
I knew in an instant that the distance between us had meant nothing when it came to our bond. It may have diminished our ability to feel each other, but it couldn’t prevent this. Not with the four marks, not when he had pulled on my own power. And I also knew Seth had planned this… just in case I fled.
A pulse of light went through my cord and I felt it—felt him—breaking through my shields, filling me, becoming a part of me. It took just a second—a second and I was surrounded by him. I was him. There was no me in here, there was no room. It was all about him, always had been.
I couldn’t breathe anymore. He was there, under my skin, his heart beating next to mine. His thoughts were mixing with my own until all I could hear was him.
He opened his eyes. A light that had never been there before glowed from behind them.
Seth smiled.
Light crackled and flashed, and the world fell away.
I was shaking—no. I was being shaken. The pain receded slowly, leaving behind a raw stinging that covered every inch of my body. That, too, faded as my body was rocked back and forth. There were voices droning in the background, overshadowing the soothing words being whispered.
I inhaled deeply, breathing for what felt like the first time. There was so much in the air around me. The heavy scent of pine tainted the edges. I tasted spice and sea salt on the tip of my tongue.
“Agapi mou, open your eyes and talk to me.”
My eyes fluttered open. Everything… everything looked different—sharper and magnified. Lights dazzled, and colors shimmered in amber. I focused on the man cradling me. Eyes the color of heated silver stared down at me. They widened, pupils dilating. Shock shot across his striking features.
“No.” That one word sounded like it had been torn from the depths of Aiden’s soul.
A popping sound filled the room. Footsteps encroached upon us. Shapes came into focus, one burning brighter than the other.
Apollo peered over Aiden’s shoulder and swore. “Let her go, Aiden.”
His arms tightened around me instead, holding me close to his chest. To the end, I thought… foolishly brave and loyal to the end…
“Let her go now.” A door slammed shut somewhere behind the shining god. “She’s connected with the First.”
The First—my whole purpose for existing. Mine. My other half. He was here, waiting. Already inside me, seeing what I was seeing, whispering to me, promising me that he was coming. Seth. Mine.
And they all were going to die.
I smiled.