Chapter 22
I WAS SURE I WAS GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK. Rarely did mortal illnesses plague us, but since I had a cold already, I figured nothing was impossible.
I still couldn’t really breathe.
I brushed my teeth and got the tangles out of my hair. I stared at the obscenely large bed in the middle of the room. I couldn’t decide what to wear. Or should I wear nothing? Oh gods, what was I thinking? It wasn’t like he said he was coming up to have sex. And if he wasn’t and he saw me lying on the bed naked, that would be a whole lot of awkward. Perhaps he just wanted to spend more time with me. Seth issue aside, there was still the whole glaring issue of us not being able to be together.
But he had the pick. He’d had the pick hovering over his heart this entire time.
I pulled on a tank top and sleeping shorts, then started toward the bed. Then I looked down at my arms. In the moonlight streaming in through the window, I could still see the patchy, irregular skin. I didn’t want Aiden to see that. So I changed quickly, pulling on a thin, long-sleeved shirt. I kept the bottoms on. Then I jumped in the bed, pulled the covers up to my chin, and waited.
There was a soft knock on the door a few minutes later. “It’s okay.” I winced at the way my voice croaked.
Aiden came in, shutting and locking the door behind him. He’d changed, too, wearing a pair of dark sleeping pants and a gray tank top that showed off muscular arms. I swallowed nervously and willed my heart to slow down before I spazzed out.
He faced me and went rigid. The room was too shadowed for me to see his expression, and I wished I could, because then I could’ve tried to figure out what he was thinking. Wordlessly, he went to the windows first and drew the blinds. The room was cast into utter darkness, and my fingers dug into the rich comforter. I heard him padding around the room, and then a soft glow appeared. Aiden brought a candle to the bed, setting it down on a small table. He looked at me, expression softened by the candlelight. He smiled.
I started to relax, the blanket easing away from my fingers.
Carefully, he pulled back the covers on his side and climbed in, never once breaking eye contact with me. “Alex?”
“Yeah?”
He was still smiling. “Relax. I just want to be here with you… if that’s okay?”
“It’s okay,” I whispered.
“Good, because I really don’t want to be anyplace else.”
Oh, the warmth that flooded my chest could’ve had me floating to the stars. I watched him stretch out beside me. My gaze darted to the closed door even though I knew Deacon was nowhere near us. And it wasn’t like he didn’t already suspect something. Or like he cared. I bit my lip, daring a quick look at Aiden. He chin was tipped up and his eyes burned silver, bright, and intense. I couldn’t look away.
Aiden drew in a shallow breath, lifting the arm closest to me. “Come?”
Heart pounding, I scooted over until my leg brushed his. His arm came up, wrapping around my waist. He guided me down so that I was nestled against him, my cheek on his chest.
I could feel his heart racing just as fast as mine. We lay in silence for a little while, and in those minutes, it was like being in paradise. The simple pleasure of being beside him felt so right it really couldn’t be wrong.
Aiden brought his other arm across him, cupping my cheek in his hand. His thumb smoothed over my jaw. “I’m sorry for that day in the gym. For how I talked to you, for how much I hurt you. I just thought I was doing the right thing.”
“I understand, Aiden. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. I hurt you. I know I did. I want you to know why I did that,” he said. “After you told me how you felt, at the zoo… it… it shattered my self-control.” Didn’t seem that way, I thought as he continued. “I knew I couldn’t be around you anymore, because I knew I would touch you and I wouldn’t stop.”
I lifted up, staring down at him and opened my mouth to say something that probably would’ve ruined the moment, but I never had the chance. Aiden’s hand found the nape of my neck and pulled me down. His lips met mine, and like every time before, there was this indefinable spark that coursed through us. He made a sound against my lips, kissing me harder and harder.
He pulled back just enough so that his lips brushed mine when he spoke. “I can’t keep pretending that I don’t want this—that I don’t want you. I can’t. Not after what happened to you. I thought… I thought I’d lost you, Alex, forever. And I would’ve lost everything. You are my everything.”
Many emotions rose in me all at once—awe, hope, and love. So much love that everything outside of us vanished in that instant. “This… this is what you’ve been trying to tell me.”
“It’s what I’ve always wanted to tell you, Alex.” He sat up, bringing me along with him. “I’ve always wanted this with you.”
I slid my hands to his cheeks, meeting his heated gaze with my own. “I’ve always loved you.”
Aiden made a strangled sound and his lips were on mine again. His hand buried in my hair, holding me still. “This wasn’t my intention… coming in here.”
“I know.” My lips brushed his as I spoke. “I know.”
As he kissed me again, he eased onto his back. My heart was hammering against my ribs as his fingers left my face and traveled down. He lifted himself up just enough for me to take off his shirt and toss it aside. My hands splayed across each hard ripple and I kissed my way down until his chest heaved under my lips and he whispered my name in a pleading sort of way. He gripped my arms and pulled me back to his lips.
I shrugged out of his grasp and lifted my arms without speaking. He obeyed the silent command and tossed my shirt aside. Without any warning, I was on my back, staring up at him. His hands slipped over my bare skin as his lips dipped down my throat and over the curve of my shoulder. Each scar was kissed tenderly, and when he came to the one Linard’s blade had left, he shuddered.
My fingers sifted through his hair as I held him to me. His kisses were doing crazy, strange, and wonderful things to me. I whispered his name over and over again like some kind of mad prayer. Then I was moving against him, being guided by some primal instinct that told me what to do. The rest of our clothes ended up in a pile on the floor. The moment our bodies were flush with one another, a sense of wildness came over me.
Our kisses deepened, his tongue swept over mine, and I rocked against him. All of this was wonderful, exquisitely pleasing. Aiden dropped kisses all over my flushed skin. I was lost in the heady sensations, completely unprepared for it. This may not have been what we intended, but this… this was happening.
Aiden lifted his head. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I breathed. “I’ve never been more sure.”
His hand trembled against my flushed face. “Have you gotten…?”
He was asking if I’d had my shot—the Council-mandated birth control for all half-blood females. I nodded.
The silver eyes flared. His hand trembled against my cheek again and as he lifted up, his eyes roamed over me. My newfound courage all but disappeared under his scalding stare. Somehow sensing my nervousness, his kiss was gentle and sweet. He was patient and perfect, coaxing away the shyness until I wrapped myself around him.
There was a near-panicked edge to him, driven by the knowledge that there was no pulling back, no stopping this time. With a thrusting kiss that left me shaken, his hand drifted with such exquisite detail. His kisses followed the same pattern and when he paused, his eyes begged for permission. That simple moment, that tiny act brought tears to my eyes.
I couldn’t—didn’t want to—deny him anything.
Aiden was everywhere—in every touch, every soft moan. When I thought I couldn’t take anymore, that I would surely break, he was there to prove that I could. When his lips descended on mine again, they did so with a fevered pitch.
“I love you,” he whispered. “I have since the night in Atlanta. I always will.”
I gasped against his skin. “I love you.”
He broke. Whatever control he had wrapped around him finally slipped away. I reveled in it, the pure simplicity of being in his arms and knowing that he felt the same keen madness that I did. Supporting himself with his forearm as his kisses took on the same sense of urgency that I felt, he lifted his mouth to whisper something in a beautiful language I didn’t understand. I was nearly over the edge, rushing towards a glorious ending.
We were surrounded by our love for one another. It became a tangible thing, electrifying the air around us until I was sure we both would ignite under its power. Then in a mindless moment of pure beauty, we weren’t a half-blood and a pure-blood, we were simply just two people madly, deeply in love.
We were one.
I awoke some time later, tucked in Aiden’s arms. The candle still flickered by the bed. The sheet had tangled around our legs, and the comforter was pushed to the floor. I realized that I’d been more or less using him as a pillow. I lifted my head and drank him in. I could never grow tired of looking at him.
His chest rose evenly under my hands. He looked so young and relaxed while he slept. Locks of dark waves tumbled against his forehead and his lips were parted. I leaned down and placed a soft kiss against those lips.
His arms immediately tightened, betraying that he was not as deeply asleep as I’d originally thought. I grinned at being caught. “Hello.”
Aiden’s eyes fluttered open. “How long have you been staring at me?”
“Not long.”
“Knowing you,” he drawled lazily, “you’ve been staring at me since I fell asleep.”
“That’s not true.” I giggled.
“Uh huh, come here.” He tugged me down. My nose brushed against his. “Not nearly close enough.”
I shifted closer. My leg wrapped around his. “Close enough?”
“Let me see.” His hands slid down my back and rested over the curve of my waist with the slightest pressure. “Ah, that’s better.”
I flushed. “Yes… yeah, it is.”
Aiden grinned wolfishly and a wicked glint filled his silver eyes. I should’ve known at that point he was up to something, but this side of Aiden—this playful and sensual side—was unknown to me. His hand glided lower, eliciting a pleased gasp of surprise. He sat up in one fast fluid motion and I found myself unexpectedly in his lap.
I didn’t have a moment to consider much. Aiden kissed me, scattering all thoughts or responses. The sheet slipped away and I melted against him. It was quite some time later, when the sun was about to rise and the candle had long since gone out, that Aiden gently roused me.
“Alex.” He brushed his lips over my forehead.
I opened my eyes, smiling. “You’re still here.”
His hand caressed my cheek. “Where else would I be?” Then he kissed me, and my toes curled. “Did you think I’d just leave?”
I marveled at the fact that I could run my hand up his arm without having him pull away. “No. I don’t know, actually.”
He frowned as he traced the shape of my cheekbone. “What do you mean?”
I snuggled closer to him. “What happens now?”
Understanding flared in his gaze. “I don’t know, Alex. We have to be careful. It’s not going to be easy, but… we’ll figure something out.”
My heart skipped a beat.
A relationship was going to be damn near impossible anywhere we’d go, but I couldn’t stop the hope swelling inside me or the tears building in my eyes. Was it wrong to hope for a miracle? Because that’s what we would need to make this work.
“Oh, Alex.” He gathered me into his arms, holding me tightly against him. I burrowed my face in the space between his neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply. “What we did—it was the best thing I’ve ever done and it wasn’t just some sort of fling.”
“I know,” I murmured.
“And I’m not going to let you go—not because some stupid law says we can’t be together.”
Dangerous words, but I melted along with them, cherished them. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to keep old fears and worries at bay. Aiden was taking a huge risk to be with me—so was I—and I couldn’t deny our feelings because of what’d happened to Hector and Kelia. That fear wasn’t fair to Aiden or to me.
Aiden rolled onto his back, fitting me to his side. “And I’m not going to lose you to Seth.”
The air hitched in my lungs. Somehow, being so lost in Aiden, I’d completely forgotten the unforgettable—the fact that I’d be Awakening in two weeks—and all the ramifications of that. Fear tasted like blood in the back of my throat. What if that changed the way I felt about Aiden?
Crap. What if the bond twisted those feelings back to Seth?
And how in the hell had I forgotten about Seth in the first place? “Out of sight and out of mind” was totally not justifiable. The thing was I did care for Seth—a lot. Part of me even loved him, even though I wanted to hurt him most of the time. But my love for Seth was nothing like what it was for Aiden. It didn’t consume me, didn’t make me want to do crazy things, be reckless, and in the same breath, be safer and more cautious. My heart, my body didn’t respond in the same way.
Aiden’s hand skimmed over my arm. “I know what you’re thinking, agapi mou, zoi mou.”
I took a shallow breath. “What does that mean?”
“It means, ‘my love, my life’.”
I squeezed my eyes shut against the rush of tears as I remembered the first time he’d said “agapi mou” to me. My gods, Aiden hadn’t lied. He had loved me since the very beginning. Knowing that filled me with steely resolve. I rose up and stared down at him.
He smiled, and my heart jumped. He reached up, tucking my hair back behind my ear. His hand lingered. “What are you thinking now?”
“We can do this.” I leaned down and kissed him. “We will do this, dammit.”
His arm circled around my waist. “I know.”
“Gods, I know this sounds really lame, so please don’t laugh at me.” I grinned. “But I’ve been… terrified of this Awakening, of losing myself. But… but I’m not anymore. I won’t lose myself, because… well, how I feel about you, it would never let me forget who I am.”
“I’d never let you forget who you are.”
My grin spread. “Gods, we’re crazy. You know that, right?”
Aiden laughed. “I think we’re pretty good at crazy, though.”
We stayed in each other’s arms longer than we should have. I was reluctant to let him leave and I think he was, too. Rolling onto my side, I watched him throw his clothes on. He grinned when he caught me. I wiggled my brows. “What? It’s a nice view.”
“Wicked,” he said, sitting beside me. His hand skimmed over my hip. There was something fierce in his gaze. “We will do this.”
I snuggled closer to him, wishing he didn’t have to leave. “I know. I believe that.”
Aiden kissed me once more and whispered, “Agapi mou”