Chapter 16
THE GROUND UNDER MY CHEEK WAS DAMP AND COLD—a musky, wet scent filled the air, one that reminded me of being deep inside a mossy cavern. Come to think of it, shouldn’t I feel cold? This place was dark and dank, the only light being provided by tall torches thrusting out of the ground, but I felt okay. Sitting up, I brushed the hair out of my face as I stood on shaky legs.
“Oh… oh, hell to the no…”
I was on a riverbank, and across from me were hundreds, if not thousands, of people—naked people—shivering as they huddled together. The onyx-colored river separating us rippled and the mass of people surged forward, reaching out and howling.
I shuddered, wanting to cover my ears.
People on my side of the bank milled about, some dressed in Sentinel garb and others in casual clothing. Their conditions varied. The ones waiting by the edge of the river seemed the happiest. Others looked confused, faces pale and their clothing splattered with blood and gore.
Men dressed in leather tunics rode black horses, herding the most unfortunate-looking into groups. I figured they were guards of some sort, and by the way a few of them were watching me, I had the distinct impression that I wasn’t supposed to be here—wherever here was.
Wait. I turned back to the river, trying to ignore the poor… souls… on the other—oh, gods dammit. This was the River Styx, where Charon ferried souls to the Underworld.
I was dead.
No. No. No. I couldn’t be dead. I hadn’t even brushed my teeth, for crying out loud. There was no way. And if I were dead, what would Seth do? He was going to go crazy when he found out—if he hadn’t already figured it out. Our bond diminished with distance, but could he have felt my loss? Maybe I wasn’t dead.
Pulling open my sweater, I looked down and cussed.
The entire front of my tank top was drenched in blood—my blood. Then I remembered everything: the night before and this morning with Aiden that’d seemed so perfect. Aiden—oh gods—he’d begged me to hold on and I’d left.
Anger rushed through me. “I can’t be dead.”
A soft, feminine laugh came from behind me. “Honey, if you’re here, you’re dead. Like the rest of us.”
I turned around, ready to clock someone in the face.
A girl I’d never seen before squealed loudly. “I knew it! You’re dead.”
I refused to believe I was dead. This had to be a bizarre, pain-induced nightmare. And seriously, why was the chick so happy that I was dead? “I’m not dead.”
The girl was probably in her twenties, wearing a pair of expensive-looking jeans and strappy sandals. She clutched something in her hand. I pegged her for a pure-blood, but the open and sympathetic look in her gaze told me I had to be wrong. “How’d you die?” she asked.
I hugged my sweater around me. “I didn’t die.”
Her smile didn’t waver. “I was shopping with my Guards at night. Like these shoes?” She stuck out her foot, angling it so I got a good view of them. “Aren’t they divine?”
“Uh, yeah. The shoes are great.”
She sighed. “I know. I died for them. Literally. See, I decided I wanted to wear them out, even though it was getting late and my Guards were getting nervous. But seriously, why would there be a bunch of daimons on Melrose Avenue?” She rolled her eyes. “They drained me dry and here I am, waiting for Paradise. Anyway, you look a little confused.”
“I’m fine,” I whispered, looking around. This couldn’t be real. I couldn’t be stuck in the Underworld with Buffy. “How come you don’t look like them?”
She followed my gaze and winced. “They haven’t been given this yet.” A shiny gold coin lay in her open palm. “They can’t cross over until they have passage. Once it’s placed on their body, they’ll look all kinds of fresh and new. And they’ll be able to catch the next ride.”
“And what if they don’t get a coin?”
“They wait until they do.”
She meant the souls on the other side of the river. Shuddering, I turned my back to them and realized that I… I didn’t have a coin. “What happens if you don’t have a coin?”
“It’s okay. And some of them just got here.” She placed an arm around my shoulders. “It takes a couple of days in most cases. People like to hold funerals and stuff, which totally sucks for us because we have to wait here for what feels like eternity.” She paused and laughed. “I didn’t even tell you my name. I’m Kari.”
“Alex.”
She frowned.
I rolled my eyes. Even dead people needed an explanation. “It’s short for Alexandria.”
“No. I know your name.” Before I could question how she knew my name, Kari steered me away from a group of angry-looking Guards who were examining my ruined clothing. “It does get kind of boring down here.”
“Why are you being so nice to me? You’re a pure-blood.”
Kari laughed. “We’re all equal down here, honey.”
My mom had said that once. Funny. She had been right. Gods, I didn’t want to believe it.
“And besides, when I was alive… I wasn’t a hater,” she went on, smiling softly. “Maybe it was because I was an oracle.”
Shock forced my mouth to gape. “Wait—you’re the oracle?”
“It runs in my family.”
I leaned closer, inspecting the deep hue of her skin and those dark eyes that suddenly looked way too familiar. “You’re not related to Grandma Piperi, are you?”
Kari laughed throatily. “Piperi is my last name.”
“Holy…”
“Yeah, weird, right?” She shrugged, dropping her arm. “I had the huge purpose in life, but my love for shoes kind of ended it all. Takes the term ‘killer shoes’ to a whole new level, right?”
“Yeah,” I said, totally wigged out. “So, are you the oracle that came into… whatever when Grandma Piperi passed?”
A few moments passed and then she sighed. “Yes, I did… unfortunately. I was never big on Fate and destiny, you see? And visions… well, they suck most of the time.” Kari looked at me, her obsidian eyes narrowing. “You’re supposed to be here.”
“I am?” I squeaked. Aw, man…
She nodded. “You are. This—I’ve seen this. Like I knew I was going to meet you, but I had no idea it would be here. See, oracles don’t know when the passing of their own time will be, which blows.” She laughed again. “Gods, I know what’s going to happen.”
Now that caught my attention. “You do?”
Her smile turned secretive.
My fingers dug into my sweater. “And are you going to tell me?”
Kari fell quiet, and did it matter now that she was making little sense? She was an oracle and I was dead. Wasn’t a thing I could do about anything, right? Shaking my head, I took in the rest of my surroundings. I couldn’t see where the river led to; it flowed to where was nothing but a deep, black hole. To our right there was a small opening, and a strange, bluish glow emanated from whatever was beyond this place.
“Where’s that go?” I asked, pointing at the light.
Kari sighed. “Back up there, but it’s not the same. You’re a shade if you go that way, and that’s even if you can get past the guards.”
“The guys on the horses?”
“Yep. Going down or up, Hades does not like to lose any souls. You should’ve been here when someone tried to make a run for it.” She shivered delicately. “Gross.”
A commotion by the river had us turning around. Kari clapped her hands together. “Sweet gods, finally!” Kari took off toward the ever-increasing throng of people by the river.
“What?” I hurried after her. The guards on the horses were forcing people into lines on both sides of the river. “What’s going on?”
She looked over her shoulder at me, smiling. “It’s Charon. He’s here. It’s Paradise time, baby!”
“But how do you know where you’re going?” I struggled to keep up with her, but when I reached the fringes of the group, I froze. Oh, crap.
“You just know,” Kari said, pushing past those who I assumed had no money for passage. “It was nice meeting you, Alexandria. And I’m about ninety-nine percent sure we’ll meet again.” Then she disappeared into the crowd.
Too busy with the scene unfolding before, I didn’t pay attention to what she said. The boat was larger than they showed in paintings. It was massive, like the size of a yacht, and a lot nicer-looking than the busted old canoe image I was familiar with, painted a bright white and trimmed in gold. At the helm was Charon. Now he looked like I expected.
Charon’s slight form was swallowed by a black cloak that covered his entire body. In one bony hand he held a lantern. His shrouded head turned toward me and even though I couldn’t see his eyes, I knew he saw me.
Within seconds the boat was swarmed and gliding down the River, disappearing through the dark tunnel. I had no idea how long I stood there, but finally I turned away and hurried through the crowd. Everywhere I looked, there were faces. Young and old. Expressions bored or stunned. There were dead people wandering around everywhere and I was alone, utterly alone. I tried to make myself as small as possible, but I bumped a shoulder here, an arm there.
“Excuse me,” an old woman said. A gaudy pink nightgown dwarfed her frail form. “Do you know what happened? I went to sleep and… I woke up here.”
“Uh.” I started backing off. “Sorry. I’m as lost as you.”
She looked perplexed. “You went to sleep, too?”
“No.” I sighed, twisting away. “I was stabbed to death.”
Once those words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back, because they made everything real.
I stopped outside the throng of people and stared down at my bare feet. I wanted to smack myself. I really was dead.
Lifting my head, my eyes found the strange blue light. If what Kari said was true, then that was the way out of this… holding area. Then what? I’d be a shade for eternity? But what if I wasn’t really dead?
“You’re dead,” I muttered to myself. But I started toward the blue light. The closer I got to it, the more drawn to it I was. It seemed to offer everything—light, warmth, life.
“Don’t go toward the light!” A voice yelled, followed by laughter—mischievous, beloved laughter. “They lie about the light, you know. Never go toward the light.”
I froze and if my heart still had been beating, which I wasn’t sure about, it would’ve stopped right then and there. As if moving through cement, I turned slowly, I couldn’t believe—didn’t want to believe what I was seeing because if this wasn’t real…
He stood only a few feet away, wearing a white linen shirt and pants. His shoulder-length, blond hair was tucked back behind his ears and he was smiling—actually smiling. And those eyes, the color of the summer sky, were brilliant and alive. Not like the last time I’d seen him.
“Alex?” Caleb said. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
All my muscles sprang into action at once. I took off toward him and jumped.
Laughing, Caleb caught me around the waist and swung me around. It was like a dam bursting open. I turned into a fat, bawling baby in under a second. My whole body shook; I couldn’t help it. It was Caleb—my Caleb, my best friend. Caleb.
“Alex, come on.” He set me on my feet, but still held me close. “Don’t cry. You know how I get when you cry.”
“I’m… sorry.” Nothing in this world was going to break my boa constrictor hold on him. “Oh, my gods, I can’t believe… you’re here.”
He smoothed my hair back. “Missed me, huh?”
I lifted my head. “It’s not the same without you. Nothing is the same without you.” I reached up, placing my hands on his cheeks and then in his hair. He was flesh and bone. Real. There were no shadows under his eyes and his gaze didn’t hold that weary look they’d had after Gatlinburg. The tags were gone. “Oh gods, you’re really here.”
“It’s me, Alex.”
Pressing my cheek against his chest, I started crying again. Never in a million years did I think I’d get to see him again. There was so much I wanted to say. “I don’t understand,” I murmured against his chest. “How can you be here? You haven’t been waiting this entire time, have you?”
“No. Persephone owed me one. We were playing Mario Kart Wii, and I let her win. I cashed in my favor.”
I pulled back, wiping the tears off my face with the back of my hand. “You have the Wii down here?”
“What?” He grinned, and oh gods, I’d thought I’d never see that grin again. “We get bored. Especially Persephone, when she’s down here during these months. Usually Hades doesn’t play, thank the gods. He freaking cheats.”
“Wait. You play Mario Kart with Hades and Persephone?”
“I’m kind of a celebrity down here, because of you. When I first… arrived, I was taken straight to Hades. He wanted to know everything about you. I guess I kind of grew on him.” Caleb shrugged and then he pulled me back in for another one of his mammoth hugs. “Gods Alex, I wanted to see you again. I just didn’t think it would be like this.”
“You’re telling me,” I said dryly. “What… what is it like?”
“It’s not bad, Alex. Not bad at all,” he said softly. “There are things I miss, but it’s like being alive, only not.”
Then it struck me. “Caleb, is… is my mom here?”
“Yes, she is. And she’s really nice.” He paused, pursing his lips. “Really nice considering she hasn’t tried to kill me this time around, you know.”
I felt nauseous, which was strange since I was supposed to be dead. “You’ve talked to her?”
“Yes. Seeing her the first time was really weird, but what she was when she had us isn’t who she is now. She’s your mom, Alex. The mom you remember.”
“You sound like you’ve forgiven her.”
“I have.” He wiped away the fresh tears gathering on my cheeks. “You know, I wouldn’t have in life, not really. But once you finally accept the whole dying thing, it kind of enlightens you a bit. And she was forced into becoming a daimon. They really don’t hold that against you down here.”
“They don’t?” Oh, gods, I was going to start crying again.
“Not at all, Alex.”
Some of the guards were gathering close to us. I focused on Caleb, hoping they weren’t going to pull us apart. “I have to see her! Can you take—?”
“No, Alex. You can’t see her. She doesn’t even know you’re here, and that’s probably for the best right now.”
Disappointment swamped me. “But—”
“Alex, how do you think your mom would feel if she knew you were here? There’s only one reason why you’d be here. It would upset her.”
Dammit, he had a point. But I was here, which meant I was dead. Wouldn’t I be seeing her soon anyway? So that logic failed with me.
“I’ve missed you,” he said again, and it brought me back to him.
I clenched the front of his shirt, and words I wanted to say spilled forth. “Caleb, I’m so, so sorry for everything. What happened in Gatlinburg and… and I didn’t really pay attention to what you were going through afterward. I was so stuck on myself.”
“Alex—”
“No. I am sorry. Then what happened to you. It wasn’t fair. None of it was. And I’m so sorry.”
Caleb lowered his forehead to mine and I swore his eyes glistened. “It wasn’t your fault, Alex. Okay? Never think that.”
“I just miss you so much. I didn’t know what to do after you… left. I hated you for dying.” I choked up. “And I just wanted you back so bad.”
“I know.”
“But I don’t hate you. I love you.”
“I know,” he said again. “But you need to know that none of that was your fault, Alex. This was meant to happen. I understand that now.”
I laughed thickly. “Gods, you sound so wise. What the hell, Caleb?”
“Death made me smart, I guess.” His gaze searched my face. “You don’t look any different. It just seems so… so long since I last saw you.”
“You look better.” I traced my fingers down his face, pressing my lips together. Caleb looked marvelous to me. There wasn’t a hint of all that he’d suffered. He seemed at peace, fulfilled in a way he hadn’t been when he was alive. “I just miss you so much.”
Caleb squeezed me tighter and he laughed. “I know, but we need to stop with this friendship bonding crap, Alex. First we’re tortured by daimons together and now we’ve both been stabbed. That’s taking the ‘we do everything together’ to an all-new high.”
Tears streamed down my face, but I laughed again. He felt so warm and real. Alive. “Gods, I really am dead.”
“Yeah, you sort of are.”
I sniffled. “How can I be sort of dead?”
Caleb pulled back and tipped his chin down. A mischievous smile tugged at his lips. “Well, there’s this really big, blond god raising all kinds of hell with Hades right now. Apparently you’re still in limbo or something. Your soul is still up for grabs.”
My insides knotted, and I blinked. “What?”
He nodded. “You’re not going to be dead for very long.”
I wiped under my eyes. “I’ve been here for hours. I’m so dead.”
“Hours here is only seconds there,” he explained. “When I came up here I was worried it was too late, that Hades had already released you.”
“I’m not going… to stay dead?”
“No.” Caleb smiled. “But I had to see you. There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Okay.” A twinge of pain in my stomach startled me. I jerked against him. “Caleb?”
“It’s okay.” His lanky arms held me still. “We don’t have much time, Alex. I need you to listen to me. Sometimes we hear things down here… about what is going on up there. It’s about Seth.”
A burning kindled deep inside me. “What… what about Seth?”
“He doesn’t really know, Alex. He thinks he’s in control, but he’s not. Don’t… don’t believe everything you hear. There’s still hope.”
I tried to laugh, but the burning was turning into a full-blown fire. “You’re still… such a Seth fanboy.”
Caleb made a face. “I’m being serious, Alex.”
“Okay,” I breathed, clutching my stomach. “Caleb, something’s… wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong, Alex. Just remember what I said. Sometimes people have a hard time remembering everything after these kinds of things. Alex, can you do me a favor?”
“Yes.”
“Tell Olivia that I would’ve picked Los Angeles.” Caleb placed his lips against my forehead. “She’ll understand, okay?”
I nodded although I didn’t understand why as I held onto his shirt for dear life. “I’ll… I’ll tell her. I promise.”
“I love you, Alex,” Caleb said. “You’re like the sister I never wanted, you know?”
My laugh was cut off by the fire tearing apart my insides. “I love you, too.”
“Never change who you are, Alex. It’s your passion—your reckless faith—that will save you, save both of you.” He held me tighter. “Promise me you won’t forget this.”
As the pain grew and my vision clouded, I held onto Caleb. “I promise. I promise. I promise. I prom—”
I was ripped away from him, or at least, that was how it felt. I was spinning and spinning, coming apart and slamming back together. Pain was everything. It swamped my senses, fueling the terror. My lungs burned.
“Breathe, Alexandria. Breathe.”
I gulped in air as my eyelids fluttered open. Two all-white eyes—no pupil or irises—stared back at me. The eyes of a god.
“Oh, gods,” I whispered, and then I lost consciousness.