The real Lucien Finn begged me not to leave him alone in the dark. It was hard to close the door on his pleading and make my way upstairs.
I stepped out into the hall just as I heard the enormous front door shut in the foyer beyond. I hastily swung the door to the basement stairs closed.
Talisyn came down the hall, dropping his shield and sword, peeling off his snow-crusted coat. He seemed larger than life. I pressed my hand against my hammering heart. “Where did you come from?”
“From training,” he said, his lips turning up into a smile. “Where are you coming from?”
His tone was playful, but I couldn’t match his mood. The world felt sick and dark after meeting Lucien Finn, and I felt guilt-stricken that I’d taken his place while he was buried alive.
“I was down in the basement,” I said. “I wanted to see if I could awaken any of my memories.”
“I see,” he said, turning serious. “We can figure it out together.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” He studied my face. “Branok and Lynx have been searching for spells to help unwind your memories. But you seem so intent on doing it alone.”
The words hung in the air, his implication clear.
Talisyn knew I had secrets.
“Just old habits,” I said lightly. “I’m trying to trust, Tal. It just doesn’t come easily for me.”
“It’s all right. It doesn’t come easily for any of us either.” He sounded so fond. Talisyn was always on my side.
I rested my hands on his shoulders and bobbed onto my toes to kiss him. His lips were cold from being outside and he carried the clean scent of snow as the two of us traded gentle, sweet kisses. His cold hands settled on my hips, and seconds later, he was all heat and warmth, as if his inner fire had been kindled when we touched.
When I started to pull away, my hand swept down his shoulder and he winced, gripping it. I’d almost forgotten the wound he’d sustained weeks ago, and I frowned at him. “Does that still hurt?”
“What?” He gave me an innocent look. He was always putting on a brave face.
“Your injured shoulder.” I caressed his shoulder gently. “Have you seen a healer? Is it really an enchanted wound?”
He rested his fingers lightly over mine. “You are so sweet, Honor. Will you take a look at it?”
“I’m no healer,” I teased him, “but I’m always happy to see you with your shirt off.”
He pulled off the many layers he’d worn under his coat, revealing his powerful shoulders and taut abs. I frowned at his unbroken tanned skin, wondering if he was hurt with magic.
“I only told Lucien about my shoulder.” Talisyn dropped his shirt to the ground and chucked me under the chin, lifting my gaze to his eyes. “I was never wounded.”
Panic twisted through my guts. “Lucien must have mentioned it—”
Tal shook his head. “No more lies. I know what you are, Honor. I just don’t know why you won’t tell me.”
“You’ve lost your mind. What do you even think I am?”
“That mating mark of Jaik’s glowed,” he said. “There’s something strange happening between us all. As if you’re a dragon too.”
My mouth went dry and my heart leapt all at once. “There are no female dragon shifters.”
“There aren’t supposed to be. And yet here you are.” His arms caged me and his gorgeous eyes stared into mine. “Why won’t you just tell me the truth?”
I wanted him to know who I was. And yet my lips parted and lies tumbled out. “I can’t assist you in your delusions. You want me to be something more than I really am. But what you see is what you get, Talisyn. I’m just a maid.”
The spell drove me along. I was compelled to tell him anything that would make him believe me, as much as I wanted him to know the truth. “I’m never going to fit into your world. I’m never going to fly.”
His gaze softened.
Victory. And yet, I felt anything but triumphant.
He cupped my cheek. “You do fit into my world. No matter what anyone says, Jaik and I get to make those decisions. And maid or not, we choose you.”
I chewed my lower lip, looking up into his gaze. He was studying me with a crinkle between his eyes now.
“What are you up to, Honor Hannaby?” he asked.
“I’m just trying to figure out where I belong in the world.” I answered. That was the truth.
Jaik walked in just then, stopped dead when he saw the two of us.
“What are you two up to?” He asked with an edge of jealousy in his voice. We’d have to work on that. I really wanted these men of mine to get along. Jaik seemed to think that he couldn’t be anything but the king, even when it was just us. “And for God’s sakes, Tal, look after your weapons. You can’t just leave them wet in the hallway.”
“Talisyn remains convinced that I’m actually Lucien Finn.” There was laughter in my voice, as if I was mocking Talisyn.
Talisyn worked an eyebrow. “How did you know that I ever thought that you were Lucien Finn, if you aren’t indeed Lucien Finn?”
Jaik scrubbed his hand over his face, looking weary. “You’re being ridiculous.”
It was painful to watch everyone else deride Talisyn for knowing the truth. I wish I could tell him. But every time I tried, the curse fell heavily across my mind, dulling my senses and bringing lies bubbling to my lips.
How could I break Teris’s spell? I was afraid of what would happen when I did, that all my thoughts would be bared to my men, but it was even worse to lie against my will.
“Who’s making dinner tonight?” I asked, my voice light, as if my body were possessed by the magic.
“I will.” Jaik said after a moment. The prince who was always so sure of himself seemed uncertain at the moment.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“How hard can it be?” He asked, all of his usual confidence flowing back to him. “I wouldn’t want to ask you to wait on us, Honor.”
“Even though you’re doing nothing but wandering around the castle.” Talisyn said he cocked his head at me. “Possibly finding new ways to get yourself into trouble.”
“Me? Never.” I answered.
Maybe once I gained the ability to shift into a dragon again, I’d find a way to just transform in front of them. Teris’s spell blocked me. Would it still block me if I were falling? If I were afraid and needed to fight? Were the instincts that made my dragon take over when I was pushed off a building stronger than Teris’s spell?
Did I want to gamble my life?
My heart pounded as I pushed away from the wall, following Jaik toward the kitchen.
Talisyn’s watchful gaze followed me. He knew I was lying; I hoped he wouldn’t hate me for it.
Find me, Talisyn. Figure out a way to help me.
Chapter
Thirty-Six
Honor
After dinner, I cornered Lynx. He certainly seemed to be the more amenable golden twin of the two. I had already thoroughly explored the library, looking for ways to defeat Teris’s magic, but I knew I’d find him there in any free moment. Lynx had been searching endlessly for information about the tunnels and about recovering lost memories the past few weeks.