Another fragment of memory bloomed. I was running through the labyrinth, taking the endless twists and turns in the dark. I knew the way while those chasing us didn’t. I was terrified but I wasn’t alone. My parents were there too, my father blasting magic at our enemies, my mother fighting with a sword.
My mother started to turn to look at me over her shoulder. I caught the briefest glimpse of her face, then she was gone.
“What did you see?” Jaik asked. I must have gasped out loud.
“I saw my mother.” The memory was too painful and ragged to try to put into words. “Did you remember anything?”
“Yes.” He obviously didn’t want to tell me, but maybe our conversation earlier had softened him. “I remember running too.”
“Running to something or running away?”
“Both, I think. Caldren was there, and he looked like he was around fourteen.” Jaik froze, frowning, as if that age mattered. “My mother was there, urging us ahead, telling us we were almost there. We were running down a hill, toward a ship anchored in a bay. She was trying to get us to her home.”
“Why?”
“I don’t remember. I don’t think she was from here, but it’s all a blur now.”
“Someone might have taken that memory away.”
He reached for the bottle again, then paused.
“Is it dangerous to drink too much?” I asked, wondering if there were side effects.
“I don’t want to take it when you need it.”
“It sounds like we both need it, Jaik.”
He nodded curtly then raised the bottle to his lips again. His Adam’s apple worked as the drink slid down his throat.
But no more memories came to Jaik that night.
He pulled me into his arms and the two of us curled up together.
He was usually my comfort, but we both slept fitfully for the rest of that night. The peacefulness that I’d felt before, under the wide open stars, surrounded by my five dragons, had fled.
Chapter
Thirty-Three
Honor
We arrived at our final destination for training, the enormous northern retreat with an large series of flat snow dusted fields nearby. The academy took those fields over to set up camp, as the wind howled around their meager campfires and icy night fell.
“Welcome back.” Branok said. “Usually we would stay in the field, but because Jaik wants you to be more protected, we all get to stay in the house this time.”
“Won’t the other shifters think badly of you, if you don’t suffer out there in the cold the same way they do?”
“We don’t really care what they think.” Jaik said. “I want all the servants out of the house. I want everyone gone. Then we’ll enchant the house so that no one can come in or out but us.”
With “Lucien” abandoned at the academy—Damyn had planted that idea—I’d have the opportunity to just be Honor for a while.
“You’ll make sure that I can leave, right?” I asked. “I can’t stand the thought of being trapped anywhere, Jaik.”
He hesitated, and I could tell he hated it. But he nodded. “Yes, of course I’m trying to keep you safe, not trapped. But you will stay in the house. Right?”
“Yes,” I said. “I’m not in any hurry to get myself killed.”
“Well, that’s a relief. The way you jump balconies has always made me wonder.”
As we went down the hallway to the den, we passed the door to the basement. A memory stirred of the pitch-black well.
If nothing else worked to retrieve my memories, maybe I could prompt them there. I rested my hand lightly on the door to the basement, dreading the thought.
“Honor,” Talisyn said, then paused.
They were all staring. I’d accidentally lingered here, giving away how I felt. I smiled at them. It must have been an unconvincing attempt. Anger flared in Jaik’s eyes—although I knew it wasn’t anger at me. He could tell I was afraid.
I’d go down there when I was alone, though. I needed to confront my memories. I needed to do what I could to dredge them up myself.
No matter how much I feared the monsters that would rise from the murk.
That night I slept, surrounded by Jaik and Talisyn again, but this time they weren’t dragons, and they thoroughly distracted me from any worries or wisps of memory.
The next morning, as I headed toward breakfast, I skimmed my fingertips over the locked doors near the small dining room.
“Looking to practice your lock-picking skills?” Branok demanded from behind me.
I turned to face him. I could tell him and Lynx apart by now, although it was mostly from attitude; Branok was the perpetually surly one.
“Joachim has magical wards on much of what’s his,” Branok warned me. “I’d be careful where you poke while we’re gone today.”
“It’s just so dusty. I thought I’d tidy up.” I said innocently.
“Mm.”
“Does your father come here often?”
His gaze caught behind me. “Not often. Not anymore.”
I turned to follow his gaze out the big windows that stood behind us, letting in sunlight through the ice-frosted glass.
Something bothered him. I had a feeling I knew what it was, so I asked, “Where’s your sister?”
“She’s in that castle. There.” Branok lifted a hand and pointed to a blue stone tower glinting on the other side of the lake. Lynx stepped into the hallway behind him and when the two stood side-by-side, I couldn’t have picked them apart until they spoke.
“She’s being cared for by some healers who are trying to lift the enchantment, but no one understands exactly what the old magic was that was used on her,” Lynx explained.
They moved on toward breakfast after that, a twin pair of perfect statues betraying no sign they worried about Alina. But somehow, I was convinced that was just another of their easy lies.
After breakfast, I could tell Jaik was reluctant to leave me. He lingered in the foyer while the others were already outside shivering in the snow, waiting to join the academy on the other side of the forest.
“Go.” I kissed him one last time, then ruffled his hair; there was something so satisfying about mussing perfect Jaik. “I understand you have your responsibilities.”
But when they were gone, the castle seemed too quiet, empty and echoing.
After seeing the healer to work on the brand, I spent most of the day amusing myself by going through the library. By noon, I’d failed to find any books that told me how to overrule the Olds’ magic.
I decided to go down to the basement. I kept thinking about how Henrick and Alis had tried to break me to break through the enchantment. What if I could destroy the enchantment altogether?
It was strange to me to think that Alis and I had a purpose in common. Maybe if I found someplace small and dark to hide, it would remind my body of what it had felt like being a terrified child. Maybe my body would start to wake my brain.
But when I was searching amidst the boxes in the basement, I didn’t find a hiding place.
Instead I found a hidden door.
Chapter
Thirty-Four
Honor