I happily showered and used my favorite grapefruit-scented shampoo. I not only took extra time to lather it in and repeat the process, but I decided to ditch my chosen business attire in favor of something more fun. My showers are usually the five-minute quick in and out kind, but today it lasted much longer. I can’t say why, but I just felt different, maybe even excited in a way I can’t really describe. I actually danced around my bedroom before getting dressed. I hadn’t done that in a while.
Feeling concerned about my appearance for the first time in a long time, I decided casual was better than trendy, and then decided sophisticated was better than casual, and in the end went with a mix of all three. I opted to wear black skinny jeans and my most loved white swing top with the words The Kinks scripted diagonally across it and the word Lola underneath in black faded scroll. I threw on my gray moto leather jacket with the hoodie snapped off, and a pair of black open toed wedge booties. I haven’t been shopping in so long, I don’t even know if the shoes are still in style, but they are comfortable. I added some eyeliner, mascara, and lip-gloss and I was ready to go.
As the plane finally lands, I take a deep breath, and walk down the jetway. I laugh as I read the sign at the end of the walkway that says, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.” As I make my way through the airport, I smile again as I hear the sounds of the slot machine handles being pulled and bells ringing for the lucky winners gambling in the Las Vegas Airport. After collecting my luggage in baggage claim, I set foot on Sin City’s pavement and wait for a taxi to take me to my destination.
It’s early November and the weather is crisp and mild. I’m sitting in the back seat of a taxicab, feeling the bright sunshine through the window permeate my skin. I embrace the warmth and take a few deep breaths, trying to curb my sudden onset of jitters. I have so many emotions going through my head as I think of the two extreme outcomes of meeting River again today. How will I feel if he doesn’t remember me? How will I feel if he does? The answer to both questions . . . I have no idea.
Knowing I’m in a hurry, the driver tells me he will take the fastest route he can. As he’s explaining that it is the longer way, mileage wise around the strip, but much shorter, time wise, I zone out. God, what if he doesn’t remember me when I’ve never been able to forget him or what if he does and we still have that instant connection? Is he still adorably charming and utterly charismatic? Why am I even thinking this way and why do I care? I’m here to do a job and that is all I need to be thinking about. River is just a person I have to interview to prepare a photo-shoot for. I’ve done this job a thousand times. “Just do your job, that’s all you have to do,” I say to myself over and over again.
I watch the multitude of people walking down the sidewalk, men and women, couples and families, winners and losers, I think about how they’re all here to forget about their everyday lives. I decide today is the perfect day for me to do the same. I’m going to get lost in this city too. Today I’m Dahlia London, the photographer. I can be that girl. I was that girl. I am that girl. Today I will not be Dahlia London, poor girl whose fiancé was killed in front of her.
The sunlight streaming through the cab window is reflecting off the diamonds of my bracelet. As I look out onto the street I see a man dressed in a suit, walking while checking his phone and I can’t help but think of Ben. Ben was always multitasking, able to accomplish more in a single day than I ever could in a week. Today these thoughts aren’t sad thoughts. Instead I smile at the memory they provoke of the man that was so driven and so successful at such a young age. Taking deep cleansing breaths, I look at my bracelet again and remember the reason I will never take it off. The promise I made to myself to have no regrets. Those thoughts are what I will take with me as I interview the one man I had an almost dalliance with once, a long time ago.