Leaning into my car, he softly kisses my lips. “You can stay here you know. You don’t have to go back,” he says for the second time since we woke up. He pulls back and caresses my cheek. I sigh and look up at his pleading eyes, then shift to take in all of his beautiful face, strong chin, perfect nose, and full lips.
Looking down to avoid eye contact, I move my mouth to his hand. “River, we’ve talked about this. We can’t move in together after knowing each other for one week.” I say this, but I’m aware that he knows it’s not my only reason for heading back to Laguna Beach.
“I disagree, you know,” he grins as his eyes slide from my face to the words printed on my Smashing Pumpkins Teargarden Tour concert t-shirt. “You could at least stay one more night.”
Rolling my eyes, I look back up at him and smile. “Then tomorrow you‘d just say the same thing.”
He surprises me but not saying how hot he thinks I look, but instead simply says, “You think you know me that well already?”
“Well wouldn’t you?”
Shrugging his shoulders, he leans in again and kisses me a little longer this time before saying, “Why don’t you stick around and find out for yourself?”
I laugh and shove him out the window. “Enough with the long goodbyes. I’ll see you in two days.”
Moving away from the car and putting both hands in his pockets, he grins his sexy grin at me. “Catch you later, beautiful girl.”
Gazing at him and giggling at his reference to one of my favorite Smashing Pumpkins songs, Perfect, I blow him a kiss. “I’ll call you when I get there. Oh, and River?” I wait for him to look at me. When he does I say to him, for only the second time ever, “I love you.”
Smiling at me, he quickly opens my door and pulls me to him. My heart responds to his touch as it starts to beat faster. I close my eyes and lean into him, he smells so good, fresh from the shower. I press my palms against his chest and I swear I not only feel his heart beating but also hear it just as loudly. He cups my chin and looks at me intensely. “I love you so much.”
Traffic is light, as I drive the sixty minutes or so back to Laguna Beach. I’m enjoying the tranquility of the enchanting starry night as I reflect back on the past week and how my life has changed so drastically. My emotions range from high to low, I’m happy and I’m sad.
Glancing over at the empty passenger seat while stopped at a red light, I pick up the small black rectangular picture frame I put there yesterday. The glass is gone, but the photograph, still perfect, is of my father, mother, and myself at Disneyland. I clutch it tightly against my chest remembering the fun we always had together. God, I wish they were still here with me. I miss them so much.
Tears stream down my cheeks as I’m driving, but they are tears of reflection more than sadness. We were able to collect most of my memories. Yes, most are broken and in need of repair, but I still have them to keep and treasure. The only unsalvageable items were Ben’s journals. As River crated the broken photographs and frames, I flattened all Ben’s hand scripted pages, flattened them, and put them in a box. I’d never read his most private thoughts and I don’t think I ever will, but I want to keep them nonetheless.