“What is it?”
“I should have told you this when you spoke to us about it the day Stuart called.”
His expression clouded over further. My skin grew cold.
Has he been keeping more things from me? What the fuck? I thought we were done with secrets.
Seventeen
Drake
Now was likely the wrong time to talk to her about this, but it couldn’t wait any longer. I didn’t want to keep shit from her. Not when it was important we were open about things. After all her teasing regarding my feelings about her being with the others, I was reminded a relationship would only work if we had honesty.
“Told me what, Drake?”
Scarlett was tucked up against my side, but I had a feeling she’d be pretty fucking mad at me the moment I told her.
“When you told us you can’t have children… we already knew about it.”
Her eyes narrowed and her mouth thinned. Then she extracted herself from my grasp and took a few steps back, putting space between us.
“You knew.”
“Yes.”
Her tiny hands clenched into fists at her sides, like she was trying to keep her anger in check.
“I don’t want to jump to conclusions, so you better tell me exactly how you found out.”
I dug my hands in my coat pockets. This had been playing on my mind since the day we’d found out about Stuart’s abuse. Since she’d openly admitted to us she was unable to have kids.
“Drake, spit it the fuck out.”
It was now or never. I had to rip the bandage off.
“We bribed the doctor Stuart got for you to give us access to your medical files. We saw everything… all of your injuries, how the scarring from the way they pinned your pelvis together all but destroyed your ovaries, how extensive your rehabilitation was, everything, Scarlett. There’s nothing we don’t know about your medical history. I know that’s really fucked up. I know it’s an invasion of privacy and I’m sorry.”
Scarlett’s fists didn’t unclench. She stared at me, her expression dark and full of anger.
“Sorry. You’re sorry. Jesus Christ, Drake! What the fuck next, huh? When are these secrets going to end? Are you going to tell me this has all been a fucking ruse and when this is over, you’re going to leave me in the dust because I can’t give you children? Or that you never really wanted me in the first place?”
“What? No!” I took a step towards her, putting my hands out. “Hey, no, don’t do that. Don’t start accusing me of wanting to leave you. I’m trying to be honest with you here.”
She backed away, but I caught her by the arm. How could she think that of us? We cared about Scarlett above all else. Hell, I’d fallen so hard for her, it was un-fucking-real. I didn’t think I was capable of such emotions after everything fell apart, but my long-buried feelings for her resurfaced when she’d arrived back in our lives. When she’d ripped open the ice casing around my heart and made herself at home in it.
“Let go of me!”
“No. You listen here, I made you a fucking promise I’d never leave you no matter what happens. I don’t give a shit about children, Scarlett. I never have. I don’t care about destinies or fate. I literally couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks about our relationship. The only thing in this entire world I care about is you. Only you. Forever. You hear me? For-fucking-ever.”
For a second, Scarlett didn’t react to my words. Then she put a hand to her mouth as if she was trying to hold back her emotions. Her eyes were wide and her chest heaved. I decided to press on. To admit things to her I would have never done so before, but she needed to get stupid shit like we’d leave her out of her head. She was it for the four of us.
“I’ve spent almost my whole damn life wishing you were mine. It might not have looked that way to you, but it’s the truth. Why do you think I turned down all the girls at school? Why do you think I wasn’t interested? The only person I’ve ever looked at and thought ‘she’s it for me’ is you.”
Unable to help myself, I cupped her cheek, drawing her closer to me.
“I’ve been trying so hard to give you what you need. To give you parts of me no one else has had before. You’re the only person I trust with them. I am yours. I will be yours for as long as you want me. For as long as you need me in your life, little wisp.”
I should tell her I loved her. I should fucking say it, but the words wouldn’t come. It didn’t matter. I hoped I was getting my point across. She didn’t need to worry or be afraid we’d walk away. We’d fought to get her back for ten years. I couldn’t allow another ten years to pass without her in our lives. Without her by our sides.
I need you. I really fucking need you. Damn it, Scarlett. I’m in love with you.
“You… you… you liked me, liked me?”
“Yes.”
“Holy shit.”
“I never thought you ever saw me that way… saw any of us like that. West didn’t even tell us about you and him until recently. I had no idea.”
She blinked.
“I told Frankie. He knew I loved West.”
I half-smiled.
“I know that now.”
She put her hand to mine on her cheek and pulled it away. Her eyes went to it as she fit her small fingers between my much larger ones. It reminded me of how she’d said she liked the way my hands fit around her. I had to stop myself from smiling at that little detail.
“I’m sorry I kept all this shit from you, but I meant what I said. You are what I need. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just you.”
My little wisp of a woman stared up at me with conflicting emotions racing across her face.
“Can I ask one thing about you knowing my medical history?”
“You can ask me anything.”
Not like I was planning on keeping anything else from her.
“Is that why all of you decided it was okay to just…” she faltered and looked away.
“What was okay?”
“To not use protection and not even talk to me about it.”
I tried not to smile.
“Yes. You never brought it up either.”
She met my eyes again and gave me a disapproving look.
“Oh yeah, because that was the first thing on my mind when I woke up tied to a bed naked. I wonder if they’re going to use condoms.”
I tucked my free hand around the back of her head.
“Do you want us to use them?”
“No!”
I leant closer.
“So… you like it when we—”
She slapped a hand over my mouth.
“Do not say it.”
I removed her hand and captured her mouth with mine. She didn’t protest. Her body melted into mine as I wrapped an arm around her back. Her fingers clasped the front of my coat. The little moan sounding in the back of her throat made me want to shove her up against a tree and put my hand down her jeans. I wanted to make her come on my fingers whilst she rubbed herself all over me. However, I didn’t think it was a very appropriate thing to do in a cemetery where anyone could come upon us.
“Drake,” she moaned against my mouth.
The temptation was almost too much. I had to pull away and catch my damn breath.