Watching her struggle with her composure made my chest hurt. I wasn’t good at this shit. Being there for people. It had been a long time since I’d needed to. And Scarlett had been the only one I’d ever comforted.
I walked around the bed and reached out to her, placing my hands on her shoulders whilst she tried to hold in her emotions. All I wanted to do was take away her pain. To end her suffering. She deserved more than life had given her. I would do everything in my power to give this woman a better future.
“Little Scar.”
“I’ve lost so much already. Almost half my life was stolen from me. I lost you… I lost us. Why did I have to lose her too?”
I pulled her away from the door, turning her around and tucking her against my chest. She clutched my t-shirt and let out a hiccup.
“I want you back,” she choked out. “I can’t have my mother back or my old life, but I want you, West. I just want you.”
I didn’t know what the fuck to say. Didn’t she know I was right here? Didn’t she know she had me? Every part of me?
No, because you haven’t fucking told her.
It should be simple. Telling her I loved her. But the truth was… I still struggled with myself over it. Scarlett reminded me of the boy I’d been. She dragged him out into the open. The boy I thought had died the night she fell. The man I’d become had all but been labelled a sociopath. And yet, I was capable of feeling human emotions. I felt them for Scarlett. Her pain. I understood it. I felt it inside me, like a festering wound unable to heal. And it was killing me.
I didn’t know how to define myself any longer. How to navigate these waters I’d found myself in. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to do it alone. The world had given me Scarlett back. Given me the one person who had always filled me with the hope I wasn’t completely fucked in the head. She told me she didn’t see me differently because of my diagnosis. So why did I still see myself as unworthy of her love?
“Tell me how to give you that, little Scar,” I whispered, pressing my face into the top of her head. “Tell me, so I can give you me.”
Her body shuddered against mine. I could feel her tears soaking my t-shirt, but I didn’t care. If she wanted to cry on me for hours, I’d let her. Fuck, I would do anything at this point. Anything to make her smile again. To see those hazel-green eyes full of joy, love, and affection. I’d forgotten how much I need that from her. How she was the only person in this world capable of keeping me on an even keel. Maybe it had everything to do with me loving her.
“Why wouldn’t you kiss me before? Tell me the real reason.”
I stroked her back. If we were ever going to get back to where we were before, I had to be honest with her.
“Do you remember the night you came to me after the twins tried to assault you?”
She nodded.
“You kissed me first, little Scar. I guess I needed you to be the one to do it again… then I’d know you’d forgiven me for everything. That you still felt the same way you did all those years ago. You still saw me as… yours.”
She let out a choking sound before she looked up at me, forcing me to straighten.
“You needed me to be your little warrior?”
I gave her a smile.
“You were always the one who kept us together. You were good at this stuff. I’m not. I don’t know how to be a good… boyfriend to you.”
Being vulnerable wasn’t easy for me, but I was done hiding away from her and my feelings.
She blinked back her tears, letting go of my t-shirt to wrap her arms around my neck instead.
“I don’t think you ever stopped being my boyfriend. We technically never broke up. And you were pretty good at it when we were younger, even if our time got cut horribly short.”
“Was I?”
My girl rose up on her tiptoes and nuzzled my jaw with her lips.
“Yeah, you took care of me, West… always.”
I allowed her to press a kiss to my lips.
“Look, I’m not asking for you to be anything other than who you are now. I happen to like you this way. I won’t lie. Sometimes you scare the shit out of me, but we both know that turns me on. That night you pushed me way past my limits because I asked you? I trusted you implicitly in those moments. You and me… we have something special. I don’t want to lose it or you.”
“I never wanted to lose you.”
She sighed, pressing her face into my neck.
“But you did… the night I fell.”
I nodded, clutching her tighter.
“I’m sorry you suffered all these years without me when I had no idea who you were. I’m here now… and I’m never leaving you again, West. Never. I promise. I’m yours.”
My heart slammed hard against my ribcage. I didn’t think I’d hear those words from her mouth, uttered so freely as if it didn’t cost her anything.
Leaning down, I clasped her thighs and picked her up, carrying her over to my bed. I set her down under the covers and tucked them around her. Scarlett reached for me when I straightened.
“I’m not going anywhere, little Scar. Let me just take this off, okay?”
She settled back against the sheets, watching me as I moved towards my wardrobes and undressed. I walked back over to her and got into bed. She immediately moved closer, tucking herself up in my arms. Scarlett turned her head up towards me and I leant down, capturing her mouth as if it was natural. As if I’d never gone without kissing her all these months since she’d been back.
The simple act was all I needed, no matter how much her body against mine aroused me. Scarlett needed to sleep, not be mauled by me. Funny to think weeks ago, I would have done whatever I wanted with her, but not now. Not when I knew she needed this. Needed me to kiss her and hold her against me whilst she fell asleep.
“This feels like when we were teenagers,” she whispered to me when she pulled away.
“Is that a good thing?”
Her hand slid from my back to my chest.
“It’s like coming home, being in the place I was always meant to, right here in your arms.”
Her eyes clouded over a moment later, making me stiffen.
“Am I still your curse?”
I shook my head.
“You were never a curse, little Scar… you were always my destiny, just as I’m yours.”
“You make it sound like we’re in a world where fated mates exist.”
I snorted, stroking my hand down her back.
“Maybe that’s what the five of us are, even if it’s ridiculous and farfetched.”
“Who knew you, of all people, could be sappy as fuck.”
Leaning closer again, I nuzzled her nose with mine.
“For you, Scar, I’d be anything and everything.”