Candy Cane Murder

Feel the bowl with the butter. If you can cup your hands around it comfortably, you can add it to your mixing bowl now. Mix it in slowly at low speed. (You don’t want it to slosh all over!) If it’s still too warm to add, wait until it’s cooler and then do it.

 

Add the flour in half-cup increments, beating after each addition.

 

Take the bowl from the mixer and stir in one cup chocolate chips by hand.

 

Spread the batter evenly into a greased (or Pammed) 9-inch by 13-inch pan. Bake it at 350 degrees F. for 25

 

minutes or until it feels firm on the top.

 

Remove the pan from the oven and sprinkle it with the remaining two cups of chocolate chips. Immediately cover the pan with a piece of heavy-duty foil or a cookie sheet.

 

(That keeps the heat in.) Let it sit for three minutes. Then take off the cookie sheet, or foil, and spread out the melted chips like frosting with a rubber spatula or frosting knife.

 

Cool completely and then cut into brownie-sized pieces.

 

! % { # 9

 

150

 

Index of

 

! Recipes #

 

Peppermint Martini

 

14

 

Pepper Mint Martini

 

14

 

Lemon Whippersnappers

 

38

 

Regency Seed Cakes

 

52

 

Quiche Lorraine

 

64

 

Holiday Quiche

 

68

 

Christmas Date Cookies

 

79

 

Chocolate Candy Cane Cookies 90

 

Devil’s Food Cookies

 

103

 

Linda’s Pecan Shortbread Cookies 113

 

Angel Pillows

 

128

 

Candy Cane Bar Cookies

 

149

 

Baking Conversion Chart

 

These conversions are approximate, but they’ll work just fine for Hannah Swensen’s recipes.

 

VOLUME:

 

U.S.

 

Metric

 

1?2 teaspoon

 

2 milliliters

 

1 teaspoon

 

5 milliliters

 

1 tablespoon

 

15 milliliters

 

1?4 cup

 

50 milliliters

 

1?3 cup

 

75 milliliters

 

1?2 cup

 

125 milliliters

 

3?4 cup

 

175 milliliters

 

1 cup

 

1?4 liter

 

WEIGHT:

 

U.S.

 

Metric

 

1 ounce

 

28 grams

 

1 pound

 

454 grams

 

OVEN TEMPERATURE:

 

Degrees

 

Degrees

 

British (Regulo)

 

Fahrenheit

 

Centigrade

 

Gas Mark

 

325 degrees F.

 

165 degrees C.

 

3

 

350 degrees F.

 

175 degrees C.

 

4

 

375 degrees F.

 

190 degrees C.

 

5

 

Note: Hannah’s rectangular sheet cake pan, 9 inches by 13

 

inches, is approximately 23 centimeters by 32.5 centimeters.

 

THE DANGERS OF

 

CANDY CANES

 

Laura Levine

 

For my loyal theater companion and technical advisor, Michele Serchuk

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter

 

 

! One #

 

Ah, Christmas in Los Angeles. There’s nothing quite like it. Chestnuts roasting on an open hibachi. Jack Frost nipping at your frappucino. Santa in cutoffs and flipflops.

 

It’s hard to get in the holiday spirit when the closest you get to snow is the ice in your margarita, but I was trying.

 

On the day my story begins, I was attempting to take a picture of my cat Prozac for my holiday photo card. I thought it would be cute to get her to pose in a Santa hat.

 

Prozac, however, was not so keen on the idea. And I still have the scars to prove it.

 

The only holiday Prozac gets excited about is Let’s Claw A Pair of Pantyhose to Shreds Day. Not a national holiday, I know, but one celebrated quite often in my apartment.

 

I kept putting the Santa hat on her head, only to find it on the floor by the time I picked up my camera.

 

“Oh, Prozac!” I wailed after about the thirtieth try.

 

“What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you wear a simple Santa hat?”

 

She glared at me as if to say, I refuse to look like a fool for the amusement of your friends and relatives. I’ve got my dignity, you know.

 

This from a cat who’s been known to swan dive into the garbage for a chicken McNugget.

 

I was beginning to think E. Scrooge may have had the 158

 

Laura Levine

 

right idea about Christmas when the phone rang. I recognized the voice of Seymour Fiedler of Fiedler on the Roof Roofers, one of the not-so-long list of clients who use my services as a freelance writer.

 

“Jaine, you’ve got to come over to the shop right away.”

 

I wondered if he wanted me to punch up the Yellow Pages ad I’d just written for him. Although for the life of me I couldn’t see how I could possibly top Size Doesn’t Matter.

 

We Do Big Jobs and Small.

 

But he wasn’t calling about the Yellow Pages ad.

 

“I’m in big trouble,” he said, his voice a hoarse whisper.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I’m being accused of murder!”

 

Mild-mannered Seymour Fiedler, a man I’d never once heard utter an angry word, accused of murder? Impossible!

 

“Hang on, Seymour. I’ll be right over.”

 

I grabbed my car keys and headed for the door, just in time to see Prozac celebrating a whole new holiday—Let’s Poop on A Santa Hat Day.