It took me a moment to process his words and then to get over them. He sounded relieved that I’d slept with Maddox, because the rumors about me getting nasty with a biker meant he didn’t have to preserve my virginity anymore. It meant he didn’t have to fear my father anymore, because in comparison to Maddox, me sleeping with Giovanni was something Dad would probably applaud.
I pulled my hands out of his, once again angry. “You are wrong. Something is holding us back, my feelings for you. I don’t want to be with you anymore, not in the physical sense and not emotionally either. I’ve moved on, Giovanni, and so should you.”
“Marci, you don’t have to be ashamed of what happened. The rumors will die down eventually. Once we’re married, people will only see you as the woman at my side.”
It took impossible self-control not to scream at him from the top of my lungs. I’d been bottling up too many emotions anyway, but I didn’t want to alert Mom, or worse, Dad. They were already babysitting me 24/7, and a mental breakdown definitely wouldn’t help my case.
“Please leave now,” I pressed out. “I’m not interested in being the woman at someone’s side right now. I want to focus on work. Learning the ins and outs of the Famiglia will take time and dedication. I think you should look for another woman.”
I had to admit I was proud of myself for my moderately calm voice.
The hint of a sympathetic smile flitted across Giovanni’s face. “My father mentioned your plan to join the Famiglia.” He shook his head in a way that couldn’t be described as anything but condescending. “Listen, Marci, your dad’s humoring you because you were hurt, but people are starting to talk. It’s not fitting for a woman to want a place in our ranks.”
Women weren’t supposed to want anything. Not sex, not love, and definitely not a place in the world they were born into. “I only want what I deserve as a Vitiello. Amo and Valerio won’t have to justify their desire to be part of the Famiglia.”
“They are men,” Giovanni said, as if it was news to me. Had he always been this insufferable, or had I been more compliant in the past? I honestly couldn’t say.
“And I’m a woman who’s strong enough to demand the same.”
Giovanni sighed. “But you aren’t facing the same trials as every man who becomes part of the Famiglia. We have to swear an oath, get a tattoo. We have to bleed and suffer pain for the cause.”
I lost it. “I was tattooed, I bled and I suffered pain for a feud between the Famiglia and Tartarus, Giovanni.” I shoved my hair aside, revealing my missing earlobe. Then I opened the zipper of my sweater and tugged down the shirt beneath so my shoulder was bare, revealing the top of the tattoo. Giovanni’s eyes widened when he saw it. “What kind of pain have you suffered that’s worse? Hmm?”
“I’m sorry, Marci. You suffered, you are right. But you didn’t do it with the Famiglia in mind, you didn’t suffer for the cause. You were collateral damage. And if you’d known any secrets of value, you would have revealed them the second they threatened to cut off your ear.” Seeing my expression, he added, “Which is understandable. You are a woman with a different level of resilience to pain.”
“Come on, Giovanni,” Amo drawled, coming down the steps. “Last time you had to do practice fights, you almost bawled because someone twisted your fucking wrist. Marcella is tough as nails. If our father expected her to suffer pain for the cause, she’d do it again and she wouldn’t break, because she’s a Vitiello. And taking a tattoo doesn’t make you more loyal. Marcella lives and breathes for our family, and our family is the Famiglia.”
I could have hugged him right then. I could deal with Giovanni by myself, but Amo’s support and the casual way in which he confirmed that I had indeed suffered for the cause had a different kind of weight in Giovanni’s eyes. My brother’s and father’s word would probably always weigh more heavily than mine, but I’d make sure that my words were at least heard.
Amo stopped beside me, giving Giovanni a slightly unsettling smile. “Is there anything else you want?”
“I think Giovanni wants to leave now,” I said.
Giovanni took a step back, then another. He nodded. “I’m sorry you feel the way you do, Marcella. I hope this won’t shine a bad light on you and your family.”
“Goodbye,” Amo muttered, and Giovanni finally turned and rushed outside.
I let out a suppressed scream, balling my hands into fists. “I want to hit something really bad.”
“You can pummel my boxing sack to the ground if you want. I was heading down to the gym anyway.”
“All right,” I said. “I have no better place to be anyway.” Going outside or meeting with friends was still out of the question.
The door opened and Dad stepped into the foyer with Valerio by his side. Dad’s gaze immediately zoomed in on me. He must have run across Giovanni or at the very least seen his car. Though the bodyguards probably had informed him about our houseguest the very second he’d arrived anyway.
“Is everything all right?” Dad asked, looking from me to Amo.
“We were heading down to the gym so I could beat up Amo’s boxing sack.”
Concern filled Dad’s gray eyes. “What happened with Giovanni?”
“He’s a douche,” Valerio commented. “I never liked him and I’m glad Marci dumped him. She needs someone cooler at her side.”
“Thanks for the dating advice,” I said with a laugh. “Next time I’ll run my boyfriend by you first.”
“Amo?” Dad asked, a hint of impatience in his voice.
“Nothing happened,” I said firmly. “He wanted a second chance and I said no. Then he informed me that I shouldn’t join the Famiglia because I would never suffer pain for the cause like men do.” I shrugged. “No big deal.”
Anger twisted Dad’s face.
Valerio strolled over to me. “Some of my friends said the same, but I kicked their asses and told them you were really tough, now they believe me.”
I ruffled his blond mane. “I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have such loyal and brutal brothers.”
“I’ll handle Giovanni and the other men who badmouth you.”
“I’ll prove myself to them, Dad.”
Dad nodded distractedly, probably already making a list of people he’d punish. It wouldn’t make them respect me more.
“Can I talk to you after my workout?” I asked.
“I’m in the office, just come by.”
“Can I come with you?” Valerio asked when Amo and I headed into the basement.
“Sure, but we want to work out, so you should put on gym clothes,” I said.
“Be right back!” Valerio called, already whirling around and dashing upstairs.
“He’s like a squirrel on steroids. Where does he get all his energy from?” Amo muttered.
I grinned and followed Amo down to his gym.
Amo showed me how to hit the boxing sack, making it look effortless, and soon my knuckles burned. Valerio dashed inside, all lanky limbs and tousled hair. We soon all laughed as we took turns kicking and boxing the sack. Even Amo took his workout only semi-seriously for once.
When I headed back upstairs a little while later and headed for Dad’s office, I felt the happiest I had in a while. Today had shown me once again that I could survive anything as long as I had my family.