I sighed. “It’s probably no news, but Maddox and I got together while I was in the clubhouse.” Together seemed like such a ridiculous description of what had happened, but what we had defied a definition.
“Okay,” Gianna said slowly. “You don’t sound happy about it. Did he force you to do anything you didn’t want?”
“God no. I wanted it. I enjoyed it.” I gave an apologetic shrug. “I know people won’t understand, and even condemn me for it. But I don’t regret it.”
My belly bustled with butterflies just thinking about being with Maddox again. Maybe the odds were stacked against us, but I wanted him.
“There’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself.”
“Have you lived in a different world these last few years?” I asked wryly.
“I know the unwritten rules. They haven’t changed since I was a teen, but I always had trouble following them. If you want to live by your own rules, you just have to make sure you can live with the backlash. There will be nasty rumors about you, and they probably won’t ever die down.”
I grimaced. Rumors about Gianna’s escape still made the rounds at social events. People had made up the most ridiculous stories. I had never asked Gianna about them because I hadn’t wanted to be someone who listened to rumors.
“Ask,” Gianna said.
“I know what Mom told me,” I said with a sheepish smile. “That you ran off after you got engaged to Matteo because you didn’t want to marry him, but he caught you after almost a year and forced you to marry him.”
“He’d say he saved me from being killed by my asshole of a father by giving me the chance to marry him,” Gianna said, rolling her eyes.
“It’s true, though, right?”
“Yeah, but he doesn’t have to play the knight-in-shining-armor. He only wanted me in his bed.”
I shook my head with a laugh. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you.”
“And it’s why your dad would prefer if you talked to someone else.”
I rolled my eyes. “So you weren’t a virgin either when you married.”
Gianna tilted her head. “I was, but that’s completely irrelevant.”
My eyes widened. “I thought you slept with a few European guys while you were on the run.”
“I wanted to, and I made out with a few, but I never went all the way. Your uncle insists it was because I secretly only desired him.”
I frowned.
“To be honest, if I could turn back time, I probably wouldn’t run, but I’d have sex with Matteo in every corner of my old home to pay my father back and present white sheets to him after the wedding night.”
“So the rumors about you are wrong and still people badmouth you. I don’t want to know what they’ll do with me, considering the rumors are right.”
“You slept with Maddox, so what. That’s your business.”
“I wanted to do it,” I defended myself. I wasn’t even sure why I felt the need to defend myself, especially in front of Gianna, but the rules of our world were deeply ingrained in me.
“Good for you,” Gianna said. “I’m guilty of having a thing for bad boys, as Matteo always points out, and a biker from Tartarus is as bad boy as you can get.”
I huffed out a laugh. “You make it sound as if I’m a randy teenager who just wanted to enjoy herself.”
“You should enjoy yourself before your responsibilities catch up with you. You chose the perfect guy. Nobody will expect you to marry Maddox, even if he was your first.”
“I want to be with Maddox. It’s more than physical.”
Gianna pursed her lips. “It’s your life, Marci. You only have this one go at it. Live the life you want. If you want to have fun with the biker boy then have fun and move on. If you want to have fun and get serious with him, then do that. But either way, the conservatives will burn you at the stake for it. Prepare for the fight of your life and be ready to win.”
“I will.”
“Good. I’ll be there for you whenever you need me.”
“Thanks, Gianna,” I said, then hesitated. “Can you do me a favor and get me a pregnancy test?”
Gianna froze. “Oh Marci, don’t tell me biker boy was too stupid to use a condom.”
“It just happened.” I grimaced at how stupid that sounded, but the situation had been extraordinary.
“How long are you overdue?”
“Just one day. It’s probably nothing.”
“You better hope that’s true because your father will kill Maddox if he got you pregnant and I doubt Aria will stop him.”
“I know.”
“What does biker boy say to his possible fatherhood?”
“I haven’t told him yet. I want to wait until I’m sure. He isn’t in the best state right now.”
“Neither are you. I don’t see why you should worry alone. He’s just as responsible as you are.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Can you get me a test?”
“Of course, but I don’t have any lying around so I’ll have to grab one in the pharmacy during my lunch break. I can pop over tonight and give it to you, all right? Or do you need it sooner?”
“No. A few hours more or less doesn’t really matter.”
“If you say so. I’d want certainty as soon as possible.”
“I have my tattoo appointment in the afternoon so I’ll be busy.”
Gianna nodded. “Don’t let anyone determine your worth, Marci. Promise me.”
I hugged Gianna before I got up.
“I won’t. I promise,” I said. I hadn’t cared what Earl thought about me, but his words inked into my back, could become words whispered among the Famiglia. And I couldn’t help but worry about it.
“I still don’t like the idea of him tagging along,” Amo muttered when Maddox pulled up in front of the mansion on a brand-new Harley. It looked remarkably like his old bike, but without the Tartarus hellhound. He wasn’t wearing his cut either, only black jeans, a black T, leather jacket, and biker boots. Not even a helmet.
I couldn’t help but smile despite my anxiety about the tattoo appointment.
“He couldn’t live without a new Harley for long,” Amo muttered. I loved seeing Maddox on a bike. It was where he belonged, but a part of me worried he really couldn’t live without the biker lifestyle. Two bodyguards were already waiting in front of the door, and one sat behind the steering wheel of the limousine with armored glass.
Dad had insisted I take three guards with me. He didn’t count Maddox as additional protection—quite the opposite.
Amo followed me outside. I wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to tag along as well.
I headed toward the curb. Maddox got off his bike and made a step in my direction as if he was planning on greeting me with a kiss. I side-stepped him casually to check out his bike, worried that paparazzi were around. A photo of a kiss between Maddox and me would really fire up a scandal. I wasn’t ready for that yet. Not before I felt more like my old self, and definitely not before Maddox and I had discussed us.
Maddox raised his eyebrows but didn’t comment. Amo lifted his jacket to reveal two guns. “Do you need one to defend Marcella?”