Marriage had never really crossed my mind before. Most bikers in Tartarus lived with their old ladies without marrying. Of course, I knew of the strict traditions the Famiglia abided to. I’d never expected me to get involved with them. Maybe Marcella really wanted to wait until we were married to have sex again. Fuck, was I ready to marry? And would she even want to marry me?
I could only imagine the scandal that would cause. The princess of New York marrying a dirty biker. The odds seemed stacked up against us. I really needed to talk to her alone. For the first time I realized how little we knew about each other. The only thing I was certain of was that being with Marcella felt right.
After some arguing and eventually begging, Dad allowed me to be alone with Maddox in his office for a few minutes.
“We’ll be in the hallway,” Luca said loud enough so Maddox could hear him before he closed the door, leaving me alone with Maddox.
Maddox’ practically undressed me with his eyes. I shook my head, but my own body longed for his closeness as well. Yet I hadn’t forgotten the heartbreak of the last few days.
“Won’t you give me a little peck as a reward for behaving around your murderous family?” he asked with a wry smile.
He had a point. After everything that had happened, Maddox had every reason to be pissed. I walked over to him, and with every step I took, my pulse pounded faster. I’d never felt this physically drawn to a person. Maddox’s smile broadened when I arrived before him and my stomach exploded with butterflies. Maddox wrapped his arms around me and kissed me unexpectedly gently before he buried his nose in my throat. “You smell different than I remember.”
“You mean I don’t smell like dog and blood anymore?”
Maddox shook his head. “You never wore perfume, now you do.”
He was right. I’d put on my favorite perfume from Le Labo: Fleur d’Oranger. It had made me feel more like myself, which was strange considering it was only a scent. “You don’t like it?” I asked quietly.
For some reason Maddox not liking my favorite scent equaled him not liking the person I used to be and in parts still was. He’d only met a small caged-in version of her, but never the full me.
He’d have to get to know her. We’d both have to get to know each other anew now that we were both free.
“No, it smells great, like a stronger version of your skin’s natural scent.”
“Really?” I asked, surprised and relieved.
Maddox simply nodded, his nose still pressed into my skin. His warm breath felt good, comforting.
I wanted to sink into him and let myself fall, maybe even allow myself to face all the worries of what lay ahead.
I tightened my hold around his waist. Maddox groaned briefly but didn’t let me go when I was trying to pull back, remembering his injuries.
“Fuck, I missed you,” Maddox murmured, lifting his head to scan my face as if he was trying to memorize every inch of it.
He bowed down his head and pressed his lips to mine. I wanted to lose myself in him, in the kiss, but after a brief moment, I caught myself. I stepped back with a smile.
Maddox gave me a questioning look.
“I think we should take it slow.”
“Your body’s saying something else,” Maddox said with a teasing smile.
He was right. My body longed for more. Maybe it was good that Dad wouldn’t allow me to spend time at Maddox’s place because I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep by his side, but deep down I knew it was too early for it.
“I missed you too, but I want to take things slow. We have to get used to the new situation.”
“You mean you want to see if you still want to be with me now that you’re back in your fancy life.”
I narrowed my eyes. “No. I know what I’m feeling, and you?”
Maddox wrapped his arms around my waist, his voice low. “Snow White, I betrayed my club for you, I killed for you, I got tortured for you, and I’ll even make peace with your old man for you if that isn’t proof of my feelings for you, I don’t know what is.”
His eyes were fierce, dispersing the doubt I felt.
I swallowed, wondering what he’d say if I told him I was supposed to get my period today but was scared I wouldn’t. Maddox and I weren’t ready to be parents, not individually and definitely not as a couple. Too much was uncertain between us. I considered saying something, but then Dad knocked and opened the door, his eyes measuring the distance between Maddox and me.
Maddox and I only got a brief moment to say goodbye before he headed out with Growl, who’d show him the apartment where he could live, and I headed home with Dad and Amo who were both quiet during the drive. I didn’t speak either, longing for Maddox.
In the afternoon, the doc checked on my back and ear again, finally giving me the green light to make an appointment at a tattoo studio. I had already chosen the best studio in New York and got an appointment the next day. Usually, they were booked many months in advance but as usual the name Vitiello worked wonders. I wanted the ugly tattoo on my back covered up as quickly as possible and hopefully with it, the memories that haunted me at night. After the call, my phone beeped again with a text from an unknown number.
Hey Snow White, I got a phone and your aunt gave me your number. How about you come over to my place tomorrow?
I smiled. Of course, Aunt Gianna wasn’t following the rules.
I have an appointment at a tattoo studio tomorrow afternoon. Will you come with me as moral support?
The moment I typed the words, I felt relief. I was scared of getting inked again. Not because of the pain. I could withstand it, but I worried about the memories linked to it
Of course. Just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there.
Pick me up at three pm at home.
I considered adding a kiss smiley but this felt strange. Maddox and I weren’t really in a relationship yet. We hadn’t even discussed the parameter of our bond yet. So far there hadn’t been time.
Sweet Dreams. I miss you.
My heart rate picked up. Miss you too.
Everything about this felt strange, scarily normal.
I was too nervous about the tattoo appointment the next day to sleep, so I went over to Amo’s room. The door was open. I was still angry at Amo and Dad, but at the same time, I couldn’t resent them for wanting to protect me.
I leaned in the doorway and watched Amo. He was changing the bandages around his arm and waist. He’d suffered several cuts and a couple of broken ribs during the fight, but this was the least of my concerns. The Amo I saw before me was a different brother than I’d left weeks ago. His face appeared older, harder. He’d been my teenage brother, now he seemed grown up, like a real man. During his confrontation with Maddox today, it had struck me again.
He looked up. “You want me to come with you to the tattoo studio?”
“Maddox agreed to come. But you could come too.”
Amo shook his head. “I don’t need to see him every day.”
“Will you try to get along with him for me?”
“I didn’t try to kill him today.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks.”