It’s just music. It’s a party. You’re outside. You’re at school. You’re safe.
I repeat the mantra over in my head, sucking down huge lungfuls of air as I try to breathe through it.
“Hey,” West whispers in my ear. “Let’s go for a walk.”
Nodding, I climb to my feet, and he slips his hand in mine as we head down the shore, away from the loud music.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
He quirks an eyebrow. Right, saying I’m fine isn’t an acceptable response.
I huff out a chuckle. “It’s like, I can be fine one minute, and the next I can feel myself getting agitated, and I struggle to keep myself grounded in the present.”
He mulls over my words for a second, before asking, “What happened back there?”
I chew on my bottom lip before sighing. I keep my gaze glued to the stony shore beneath my feet, unable to look at him as I say, “Sometimes they’d blast death metal music into my cell, for what felt like days on end. The constant noise and lack of sleep drove me crazy. It would get to the point that I would have done just about anything to get some peace.”
He squeezes my hand, and I glance up at him. He smiles softly, pulling me to a stop as he wraps his arms around me. “Any time you start to feel yourself losing control, just say to one of us, and we’ll distract you, or go somewhere else with you. Whatever you need.”
Returning his hug, I bury my nose in the crook of his neck. “I know. Beck gave me these breathing exercises that have been really useful, and I’ve found if I repeat a mantra in my head, it helps to ground me.”
“You’re so strong, Firefly. Scarily so. Sometimes, I worry you don’t need me,” he confesses on a quiet whisper.
Leaning back, I lift my hand, running my fingers through his hair before cupping his cheek. “I’ll always need you, West. You’re so thoughtful, and you’re always thinking of me and my needs. You could see that I was getting stressed, and you fixed it. I could feel myself spiraling, and while I probably could have talked myself down, getting away from the party for a bit was exactly what I needed.”
I press up onto my toes and place a soft kiss against his lips before we continue on our walk around the lake. Only when I’m feeling fully relaxed and back in control do we return to the party.
As we approach the fire, Cam lopes over and purrs in my ear, “Dance with me, baby.” I might have two left feet, but there’s no way I’m about to deny him when he talks to me with that deep, gruff voice that has my lower belly clenching.
Taking my hand, he pulls me toward the writhing mass of bodies, careful to stick to the outskirts of the crowd, and staying on the opposite side of the lake to the DJ. How he even knows to do that is beyond me.
His hands rest on my hips as I sway to the tune—some upbeat pop song—and wrap my arms around his neck. As the song continues, our bodies gravitate closer until we’re pressed up against each other.
He rests his forehead against mine as his hands slide around to my lower back, somehow managing to pull me in even closer. His eyes never leave mine, and the rest of the party fades away as I get lost in his gaze. The mischievous glint in his eyes holds me captive. It was missing for so long, I worried I’d never get to see this side of him again, and now that he’s found his way back to me, I want to capture every second of it.
“My life was nothing before you,” he murmurs. We’re standing so close that, even with the thudding of the base and the boom of the music being pushed out over the crowd from the large speakers, it would be impossible not to hear him. “I was lost, going through the motions. I didn’t even realize how unhappy I was.”
Our lips are a hairsbreadth apart, and I couldn't look away from him now even if a meteorite flew by overhead.
“I thought I had all that I needed in life, but you’ve shown me just how much I was missing out on. I never thought I could feel this way.” A shy yet awe-inspiring smile brightens his face. “For the first time in my life, I’m excited about the future. I can’t wait to spend every day with you—to wake up together, go to sleep together, to argue over stupid things, and just revel in the mundane.”
To most people, that might sound like nothing special. It’s no grand gesture, but for me, it’s the biggest gesture of all. Normal is all I’ve ever wanted—to live a normal life…with Cam, West, Mason, and Beck. I want Hawk to piss me off, and have Emilia make me laugh; I want to do crazy shit with Wilder, and at the end of the day, curl up with my guys and know that life can never get better than this.
I return his shy smile with one of my own, and press up onto my toes, placing a chaste kiss to his lips. “Good, ‘cause you’re never getting rid of me. You’re it for me; you’re all I’ll ever need. All four of you. I want everything you just mentioned. I want the mundane. I want to share every boring moment of my life with you.”
He chuckles. “Oh, baby, absolutely nothing about our life is going to be boring.”
He slants his lips over mine, stealing my breath with a heated kiss. Just as I’m getting lost in his touch, he pulls back, just enough to whisper against my lips, “I love you.”
“I love you too.” He swallows my words with another kiss that has me forgetting about everything other than the parts of my body he’s touching as my skin lights up like wildfire beneath him.
Chapter 20
I link my fingers with Cam’s and pull him away from the writhing mass of bodies, in the direction of the boat house. His body is flush against mine, pushing me faster as we rush away from the party, the loud music quickly fading the farther we go. I glance back at him over my shoulder as I giggle, the hungry look in his eye making my vagina flutter with need.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the bonfire, and sparing it a glance, my gaze lands on West, who is watching us run off into the night. His lip lifts in a half smile and he winks at me. There’s no jealousy on his face, no anger that I’m spending time with Cam, and not with him. He knows, just as I do, that I might be with Cam now, but I’ll always have time for West, just as I’ll always have time for Beck and Mason too. I love when we all hang out as a group, but I love my one-on-one time with each of them as well.
Once we reach the boat house, instead of pulling him inside, I slip around the side, so we’re hidden from the rest of the party and any nosey onlookers.
He pushes me against the wall, the coarse wood chafing against my peaked nipples as he pins me in place with his hips. His lips trail up the sensitive skin of my neck before he bites down on my earlobe, making me whimper and grind my ass back against his erection.