“You can’t mean that.” I shake my head, trying to push his words out by force.
“I mean every word. I’ll indulge you in this fantasy of being the mother to the next Kelly line, but that is as far as my participation in it goes. Your tears will never change my mind or how I feel. I’m sorry if I ever gave you any inclination you could change my mind on that front. It wasn’t purposely meant.”
“You’re sorry? You’re sorry?!”
“Believe me that apologizing for anything, especially something I feel so strongly against, isn’t done lightly. If ever. Take that as your win, wife, and be content in the small victory.”
“Only you would see this as a victory,” I seethe as hot tears run down my cheeks.
“It’s the only one I can give you.” He frowns, his hands fisting and releasing at his sides. “I’ll call Shay and Colin in the morning. You’ll have the life you want. I just won’t be a part of it.”
And with those words carving my chest and making me bleed onto his Persian rug, he turns his back on me and walks away.
Chapter 20
Shay
When Colin and I arrive at The Avalon, it’s hard to keep our feelings in check. My brother has kept Rosa from us going on a fortnight now, and time spent without her gracing my days has been utter torture. The way Colin is standing stiff beside me, staring daggers at each elevator button lighting up that isn’t our floor, tells me he’s just as antsy as I am.
“Best take that scowl off your face, or you’ll scare our girl away.”
“Rosa isn’t scared of me,” he retorts, cracking his neck to the side to relieve the tension built up there.
“Aye. She isn’t, is she? How she can love that ugly mug of yours is anyone’s guess,” I tease him, hoping it will ease his anxiety somewhat. “But I’ll tell you one thing. If you keep that deep-rooted scowl on any longer it’s going to be permanently tattooed to your face. It doesn’t make you look any prettier if that’s what you’re going for.”
Instead of him shrugging off my taunt, I watch my cousin’s brows pull together while he just stares at his feet.
“I don’t know how she feels about me,” he mumbles despondently, to which I pull ‘a Colin’ and slap him across the head.
Before he has time to growl at me, I slap him again for good measure.
“Don’t be a daft fool, Col. You fucking well know how she feels about you. About us. Even if she hasn’t said it yet.”
“Stop saying shite like that, Shay. Don’t go giving a desperate man room to hope when there isn’t any to have. She’s Tiernan’s. Not ours.”
“Fuck Tiernan,” I rebuke, eliciting the growl I expected to hear from my cousin. “And fuck you if you think being loyal to him will make a difference when he finds out you fell in love with his wife.”
“He already knows.”
“Nah. You think he does. If he knew for sure, I doubt he would have called us in today.”
“Now who’s acting like a daft fool?” Colin scoffs. “What’s a greater test of loyalty than to taunt us with the one thing that we want and can never have while requiring us to do as he commands?”
When the elevator doors swing open, I step out and turn to my cousin.
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Not when you’re talking sense. I like living in my delusional bubble, thank you very much. You should try it sometime. It hurts less.”
I flip him the bird and walk in the direction of where the woman who has captured my heart and soul is currently confined. Colin takes my words to heart and shuts his trap as he follows me into the apartment and down the hall to the bedroom. When we reach inside, I know things are about to go to shit.
“Off work already?” I ask my brother, who is currently sitting in his chair, whiskey in hand. “You don’t usually show up this early.”
“I didn’t know my punctuality would be so inconvenient for you.”
“Not inconvenient. Just surprising.”
“Hmm.”
“Where’s petal?”
“If by petal you mean my wife, she’ll be with us shortly. Just getting ready.” He tilts his chin to the locked bathroom door.
I sit on the bed in front of him, while Colin prefers to give us a wide berth, standing by the door.
“It’s been so long since you called us, I was starting to think you were going to put an end to our little clandestine meetings. Haven’t heard a peep out of you in weeks. No one has seen you around, either. You haven’t even come to Sunday lunches up at Ma and Da’s place.”
“Are you upset that you didn’t see me for so long or that I kept her from you?” he says, going to the root cause of my frustration.
“What do you think?” I throw him my toothy grin.
“I think not fucking my wife has made you irritable. And frankly, I don’t care for it.”
“Like I give a shit.”
“Careful there, Shay. Remember who you’re talking to. I have no qualms in cutting you down a peg if you need a reminder of who holds your strings.”
“I’m no man’s puppet,” I seethe.
“Maybe just a woman’s then.”
I get up to my feet, ready to punch his smug grin off his face, when Rosa opens the door to the bathroom and steps into the room. Usually, Tiernan is the one to give her the green light to come out, but today she’s taken matters into her own hands. My hackles rise further when instead of her making an appearance in her preferred discreet white teddy, she comes out in a hot little number that leaves very little to the imagination.
“You wore red,” Tiernan gasps, slinking further down into his seat, white-knuckling his tumbler.
“I promised I would,” she replies, her cold voice pinching a nerve inside me.
What the fuck is going on?
From Tiernan being here early, drinking before noon no less, to Rosa making her presence known in fuck-me red lingerie, something is definitely not right here.
“What’s going on?” I ask outright.
“I have no idea what you mean,” Tiernan retorts, drinking his whiskey in one pull, only to refill his glass for seconds. He slams the half-drunk bottle back to the side table and then proceeds to blankly stare at his wife.