Don’t.
Yes, she said. You know you want me to.
No. Leave me alone.
She brushed his hands away and finished with the buttons and pushed his underwear down.
Put your head back, she said.
No.
Do what I say. Lay your head back. You want to remember this, don’t you? He shut his eyes and leaned back against the seat and she bent over and put her head in his lap. He began to cry. She went on anyway and after a little while it was finished. She sat up and wiped her mouth on the sleeve of her black shirt. There, she said. Remember I did that.
Then she drove them into town and stopped at the parsonage.
There’s nothing more to say, she said. Go on. Get out.
I don’t care. I still love you, even if that doesn’t mean anything to you. I want to kill myself.
No, you’re not going to do anything like that at all. You’re going to get out. That’s what you’re going to do.
He opened the door and stood at the curb, watching her drive away, then went up the steps to the house. It wasn’t late. His mother was still sitting in the living room, reading a book. He started past to go upstairs.
You’re home early, she said. What’s the matter? Did something happen? Stop there a minute.
She rose from the chair and came to look at him. She raised her hand and turned his face to the light.
Why, you’ve been crying. Did she make you cry? Are you all right?
After he went up to his room she went upstairs and woke Lyle.
Are you awake?
What’s wrong? he said. What is it?
Go talk to him. He’s been crying. He won’t talk to me.
What happened?
That girl doesn’t want to go out with him anymore.
Then he won’t want to talk to me either.
He hates it here, she said. This will only make it worse.
It would help if you tried to like it here yourself.
I am trying. You have no idea.
He got out of bed in his pajamas and T-shirt and went down the hall to the bedroom and stood listening and then knocked on the door. Son. Can I come in?
No.
I’d like to talk to you.
Let me alone.
I’m coming in. He opened the door and found John Wesley slumped over his computer, writing. Your mother says you had some trouble tonight.
I don’t want to talk about it.
Did the girl do something? Is that what happened?
She broke up with me. She breaks up with everyone.
Is that what she says?
She goes out with them all and screws them all and then she leaves them.
She told you this?
They told me.
Who’s they?
Some of the assholes she went out with.
Now she’s broken up with you?
Yes. But leave me alone. I don’t want to talk anymore.
You loved her, I guess, didn’t you.
I still do.
It feels like hell, doesn’t it.
You don’t know anything about it.
I’ve had some bad nights. Some bad times.
Don’t tell me about them. I don’t want to hear about it. I know about you and Mom.
I know you think you do. But you don’t know all of it. Only your mother and I know all of it, and we each know parts the other doesn’t know.
Let me alone, Dad. Please, I want to be alone. I hate it here. Why did we have to come here?
You know why. This is where the church sent us.
I want to go back to Denver.
I know that. I’m sorry you feel so bad.
Well, just don’t tell me I’ll get over her.
No. That doesn’t help, even if it’s true. I could help you. I wish you’d let me.
Just let me be. Please.
He put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. Try to get some sleep. Then he went out and shut the door and went back to the other bedroom.
Would he talk?
No. Not much. Just what you already know.
Did you find out anything more?
She’s evidently done the same thing with other boys. He said that much. It’s her pattern apparently.
What else did he say?
He wants to leave. Go back to Denver as we’ve heard before. He wants us to let him alone.
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