Friday, October 10, 2008
I WANT ALL OF her.
It altogether pissed me off when she said we we're only anatomical. I felt it deep in my gut, anatomically sick.
She racked my brain. We had messaged and talked on the phone. Would someone who basically had no guarantee of any physical gratification spend all of that time on the f*cking phone?
No. Not any sane man anyway. And there I was on top of this beautiful woman, simply begging me to be physical with her. I was clearly thinking like a lunatic.
Don't get me wrong. It was about to get physical, but when she dissected the emotional part from whatever this was, it stung. Even when I gave her what she was asking for—just my body—she still reacted. And f*ck if that hadn’t turned me on. I wanted her to get mad. Protest. Argue. But she didn't. She merely adjusted herself accordingly.
I wondered if I'd ever know that girl.
It was so damn dim and I would have given anything to turn on the light. To see her. To watch her.
She pulled herself up, using the stability of my arm, which also was holding my weight. So I shifted to the side, following her lead. Taking my hand and running it over her stomach she begged, “Please, touch me here.” Her hand was warm and it slid atop mine as I took over, granting her a request that weakened me.
“Please, Casey,” she asked again, even though I was already palming her wet p-ssy.
I had to swallow whatever the hell the feeling was that tried to claw its way up my throat. Almost in a whisper, I said, “See that wasn't hard now was it, honeybee? What else?”
Her legs were still dangling off the high-top mattress, so she couldn't get enough leverage to lift into my hand like she wanted it. To say it wasn't gratifying making her try so hard and ask for it would have been a major f*cking lie. And at the moment, she was loving every second.
My fingers steadily increased their pace and my mouth found her breast. I played gently with it and then decided to see if I could push her, make her even more frantic for me. Remembering how much it turned her on when I was being cooler and rougher I wondered if she'd like a little naughty along with her nice.
Maybe that was what she really wanted all along. I could give her that. Hopefully the prick who bought her the ring wasn't doing it for her. Maybe he couldn't satisfy her.
Maybe, Betty liked trouble and that. Whatever it was that I just did. I cataloged that piece of information under: “Honeybee Likes” in my mind. Maybe I knew more about her than I'd thought.
I kissed her perfect nipple and then bit it as I went from one to three fingers and rubbed the inside of her like it was a Jeanie’s lamp. I heard the climax build as her heavy breathing and ahhhs escalated. Her hands latched onto me and her dull finger tips burrowed into my skin. In that moment I was a little relieved that she had onychophagia.
“Yes. There. God.” She panted and I felt the inside of her milk my hand, trying to grab her orgasm and hold onto it. My body—the delivery vehicle. Best job ever.
As her grip weakened, I slid down her, placing my knees on the floor. My hands never left her and as she came down from her come-high, I paired her soaked p-ssy with my mouth. And it tasted like she'd sounded a few seconds ago. All sex and desire. She was just as sweet as I remembered. Maybe more.
I couldn't fight the urge anymore and reached for the switch on the bedside table next to me. The light was dim, but still shocking in comparison to the darkness, which her eyes were adjusted to. I blinked a few times, trying to bring my focus back and when the haze cleared, I would have sworn she was a mirage.
Creamy flushed skin, legs spread for me, her center glistening from her release and the pinkest nose I'd ever seen. I wanted her to come in my mouth before I took her, but I had to taste her lips first. Seeing the look of ecstasy on her face was all it took. I climbed up the bed on my knees, as fast as I could, and grabbed her face with both hands and dove in.
When I finally pulled away she said, “You wanted a kiss, too.”
“That's not all I want.” I picked her up with one arm and dragged her up the bed so she was almost sitting up on the over-sized pillows against the headboard.
Then I returned to my previous mission.
She smiled and ran a lazy hand through my hair. I winked at her and smiled back.
“There's the Casey I know,” she sang.
I placed kisses all around her naval and told her, “I have lots of Caseys. Pick the one you like.”
I went to work on her tender flesh and in minutes she was coming again.
She either had a hair-trigger g-spot, or I knew her body instinctually, or I was just really good. I'd sort of hoped it was all three.
When she'd finished the second time she leaned forward and pulled me to her for another kiss. Kissing her with her wetness on my mouth was about all I could take. As she licked and playfully bit at my bottom lip, I sat down and she climbed onto my lap, straddling me. After two orgasms she was dripping wet and sank down with only minimal effort. Her body enveloped me.
We sat witness to each other as she rode me slowly. She was a sight. The sweat beaded down her neck. It ran across her chest to the dip between her breasts. The way her eyebrows subtly drew to each other when she felt me touch end of her. The flutter of her lashes. She was art in motion.
“You're so beautiful, Blake,” I said, looking up into her eyes as she rose and fell with a hypnotizing rhythm. I brushed her hair back over her shoulders and pulled what was left of her ponytail out.
“I think you are, too,” she said softly.
If I wasn’t busy having sex—correction, being ridden expertly by a goddess—I would have put up more of a protest at being called beautiful, or almost being called that anyway, but I didn’t have it in me.
Her speed picked up as she moaned and brought her forehead to my shoulder.
“Condoms,” she urgently said, “We need a condom.” But she continued to grind on me like it was her job.
We need a condom? Shit.
God, she feels good around my cock.
We hadn’t used one before or ever talked about it, for that matter.
Mother of God, that shit’s tight.
I supposed it was due to the fact that around her, my dick had a one-track mind. And the goddamned track was a one-way headed straight for her perfect p-ssy.
“Really? We never used one before,” I reminded her.
She stilled. “I know,” she panted as she kissed my shoulder. “That was stupid. I mean, I’m clean—”
I interrupted with, “I’m clean, too. Are you on birth control?” That was the last thing our f*cked up arrangement needed.
“Yes, but I go for my shot next week. Better safe than sorry,” she told me. “Is that okay?”
I whispered, “I have one, but it's all the way over there.” I’d made it sound like it was all the way in China, but I didn’t want to stop. She felt too good.
“Let's go there then. Unless you want to pull out.”
That wasn't going to f*cking happen. Not because I wouldn’t, but because I couldn’t.
“Okay.” My hands under her thighs, I lifted her and scooted us to the end of the bed. “Hold on to me.”
Her arms tightened around my neck and she linked her feet behind me. I walked the few steps to where my pants were on the floor. I knelt and laid her onto her back. She just watched me, her face dreamy and sex-drugged.
“Are you all right?” I asked, just to make sure.
She nodded. “I'll be better when you put your dick back in me.”
You dirty little thing, you.
However, the naughty things she said didn't sound just right coupled with her innocent voice. The combination made it funny and I stifled a laugh.
“We're going to have to work on your dirty talk, honeybee.”
She shrugged and watched with rapt attention as I rolled the condom onto my hard cock. I leaned forward and positioned myself at her entrance and said, “Want to stay down here?”
“I don't care. Please, just f*ck me.”
All right, that was much better.
In fact, it was f*cking perfect. I didn't hesitate, pushing myself forward into her. I wasn’t going to last very long. With every thrust she met me. My pace built and she dug into my ass, notifying me she was close again, too.
“Blake, I need you to come for me. I don't—” and before I could tell her why she threw her head back and said my name.
“Casey, oh. Oh, Casey.” I lost myself. I pushed forcefully one last time and buried her down into the carpet with my hips, emptying into her.
“I needed that,” I said out of breath.
She replied, as winded as I was, “Me, too.”
When we both had our bearings about us again, I helped her stand. I was curious. “I think we could still make the party if you want to go?”
Her face told me her answer, but she spoke anyway.
“I'd rather stay up here and order food. I don't feel like going down there anymore. You can go if you need to.” The expression on her face told me she wanted me to stay, to be with her again, and to talk face to face.
I hadn't realized how much I missed actually being with her in the flesh, until then. It was incredible, watching every thought she had color her face with sincerity. She didn't hide her feelings, or she was just miserable doing it.
“Well, I'm not hungry right now, but that sounds like a good enough plan. I need to call Troy and see what he's up to. No doubt harassing someone I'll have to deal with tomorrow,” I joked.
“He seems like a good guy. He's funny,” she said thoughtfully. After pulling on a shirt from out of her suitcase, she found her band and started tying her hair back.
“He is a good dude. He's been our best friend pretty much all our lives. He actually works with Cory now at Tinnitus Music.” I pulled my jeans back up and zipped my fly, after making sure my junk wasn't in the way.
“Like the instruments?” she asked. I was a little surprised that she knew of them.
“Yep. He makes drums.” I went into her bathroom and washed my hands, running water over my face. When I came back into her room, she was lying lazily across her bed. I fished my phone from my pocket. Swiping it open and unlocking it, I'd seen that I'd missed a call from my mom, one from my brother, and a call and text from Troy.
Troy: Dude, I'm with a chick. See you tomorrow.
Me: Sounds good.
I'd call my family back later.
“I'm all yours,” I said and plopped down next to her.
“Were you mad at me? Earlier?” she asked as she worried her lip.
I scooted back so I laid against the pillows at the headboard, as my hand habitually clawed through my hair.
“I wasn't mad,” I said hoping it sounded honest. The truth was I was mad and for many reasons. I didn't like that she didn't want me for more than a f*ck and I was mad that I lied about Aly seeing the marks. The only way I could cool my temper was to shut down a little. I wanted to scream and argue with her, but we'd only just seen each other after so long. If she only wanted a physical thing, then I was going to give it to her.
In the same way I wanted her to beg me for my body, I wanted her to beg for the rest of me, too. F*ck her boyfriend-fiancé, whatever. She didn’t really want him anyway. She couldn't. Not the way she gravitated toward me.
It was the wrong thing to say—the thing about Aly—but I felt cornered. I’d felt wounded, and I’d reacted.
I decided to come clean about it.
“Hey, come here,” I told her, and pulled her arm so that she'd curl into my side. “I didn't mean what I said earlier.”
She looked up at me with those big doe eyes and looking a little worried she asked, “When you said what?”
“When I said that you needed to take off your ring so that I wouldn't get scratches. I just didn't want to look at it.” She looked down at her bare hands.
“Why? You know I'm with someone and I know you're with Aly.” She lowered her eyes as she spoke about her assumptions regarding Aly and me. I supposed that, to her, they weren't assumptions since I pretty much told her that we were together.
“I'm not with Aly.”
“Casey, you don't have to lie to me about her. I have Grant and you have Aly. It's fair.”
Well, it wasn't fair, because I kept turning Aly down. I hadn't been with anyone since the last time Blake and I were together. Only she couldn't have known that. I wasn't about to touch on that subject. I couldn't stand to hear about her and Grant. That door stayed closed.
“It's true. I was just being a prick. We didn't get back together. I work with her and I see her a lot, but not like a relationship. She doesn't particularly like the situation, but that's the way it is.”
We sat there for a few long minutes, her body relaxed and then she said, “Good, I know that it shouldn’t bother me and that it isn’t my business, and we both know my situation, but it upset me. I’m sorry that I’m a hypocrite.” I didn't know how to take that, but the idea of her being jealous was both awesome and, as she even pointed out, ironic to me.
If only things were as easy to sort out on her side of the bed. But I had to leave that alone for the time, too.
We watched something on the discovery channel about Navy SEALs, which I wanted to watch, while we ate room service. It felt normal. We talked about her new job, which I already knew a lot about because I'm a creepy stalker.
We'd pulled back the curtains when we sat at the table and ate shitty room service. Well, mine was shitty. I ordered a steak that was overcooked and an undercooked baked potato. Blake ordered another BLT, citing you really could never go wrong with it.
We thumb wrestled for the remote and I only let her win the first time, since it was her room and I'd made her sit through a long documentary about the military. To be honest, I didn't watch much of it. I'd already seen it twice.
Since it was her turn, we watched the Food Network and she yelled at the television like it was a sporting event. “That's not real. It's not that easy,” she screamed. She was more entertaining than the show.
Some hours later, lying on our bellies facing the TV, and after we'd ordered ice-cream for six, it seemed, her eyes began to get heavy with sleep. I brushed the hair away from her face and we studied each other for a while.
Her small hands played with my hair. Her finger traced my nose, eyebrows, and lips. She started to hum when she exhaled.
I needed to leave. I couldn't let myself sleep in the same bed with her again.
I didn't want to wake up with her in my arms unless she was mine. And according to the ring she slipped back on when I was in the bathroom, mine she was not.
I let her study me for a little while longer before saying, “I think I'm going to go.”
She pouted and that alone almost changed my mind. But shit. There was only so much a man could take.
“No. Stay here.” She smiled and raised her eyebrows suggestively, trying to persuade me to abandon my reasons instead of her.
I placed a kiss to her forehead and lifted myself off the bed in a push-up type of way, trying not to look into her eyes again. They would cause the dissolving of my will.
“I'll see you tomorrow. We can do something tomorrow night, too, if you want? I'll take you out.” At that she thought. She liked that idea, but her excitement on her face was short lived.
“Okay, but you should just stay here tonight. You had that bad steak. What if you get sick? I know how serious food borne illness can be.” Blake lifted up on one arm and placed the back side of her hand to my face alternating from side to side. “Yep. I was right. You feel hot.”
She was so f*cking adorable.
“I'm glad you think so, honeybee.” I playfully said as I began to reverse, looking for my absentmindedly chucked shoes from earlier. “Like you said, we have an early morning and a long day.”
Her temper peaked. She was still trying to keep her voice animated and light, but I heard the anger growing underneath. “No. Stop putting your shoes on. I'll let you sleep. I was just playing. Promise.” She grew more resilient. “Casey Moore, get back on this bed with me,” she demanded and reached out to pull me on top of her, but I tugged away.
“Just stop. I can't stay. Okay? I'll see you in the morning.”
“You can't stay or you don't want to?” That made twice in one day that exact tone entered my ears.
“Calm down, Blake. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight,” I said trying to qualm an escalating argument.
“Whatever. I need to call Grant anyway,” she said under her breath, but I felt it sear right through my back. I tensed and stopped as I was about to turn the doorknob, letting myself out.
“I'll let that slide, because I did it to you earlier,” I said. Then, I turned around to make sure she got the next part loud and clear. “Don't use your relationship with him as a weapon against me out of spite, Blake. I already f*cking hate it enough.”
I watched her cringe, scowl, and then soften in less time than it tooks to blink an eye. I couldn't be here for another minute longer.
“Goodnight,” I repeated and shut the door gently on my way out.
Even though I'd been the one to make the choice, I'd be lonely in bed without her.